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Original poster

Would you judge a mother of the bride or groom for wearing black?

170 replies

EconomyClassRockstar · 01/05/2023 02:35

Or is it now completely acceptable? The dress is floor length and fabulous and my future in law is ok with it but I would hate to think anyone would think I was being funereal because I love them!

OP posts:
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6
WiseUpJanetWeiss · 04/05/2023 16:47

AcrobaticCardigan · 03/05/2023 22:22

Don’t do it. Absolutely not acceptable as mother of bride or groom.

Acceptable to whom? If it’s fine with the bride and groom, what does it matter?

Skybluepinky · 04/05/2023 17:02

Some people only wear black so it would be expected they would wear black.
I went to a wedding where the bride had a black wedding gown and hat.

Babysharkdoodoodood · 04/05/2023 17:03

Rightsraptor · 01/05/2023 07:12

You don't wear black to a wedding. It's just not done.

My wedding dress was black 🤷🏻‍♀️

AcrobaticCardigan · 04/05/2023 18:54

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 04/05/2023 16:47

Acceptable to whom? If it’s fine with the bride and groom, what does it matter?

Show quote history

It’s the message it publicly sends. If I t’s a theme wedding, that’s different, but a regular white wedding I really wouldn’t, no matter how fabulous the dress.

wildfirewonder · 04/05/2023 19:10

AcrobaticCardigan · 04/05/2023 18:54

It’s the message it publicly sends. If I t’s a theme wedding, that’s different, but a regular white wedding I really wouldn’t, no matter how fabulous the dress.

Show quote history

It only sends that message to the people who decide to interpret it that way. If the key people - the bride and groom - are happy with it, this falls into the category of: those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.

Whydotheycallyoured · 04/05/2023 19:13

frazzledasarock · 01/05/2023 03:46

Will you pair it with a black lace mantilla and sob hysterically through the ceremony?

This is exactly what my MIL did 😂

Newyeardietstartstomorrow · 05/06/2023 14:28

I went to the wedding in a well of family and MOB wore this amazing formal black dress, she got a round of applause as she came down the aisle. She looked stunning
That's a massive social faux pas; you don't wear anything or make any statement in your clothing that takes away from the actual bride. To actually get a round of applause for her dress means she made it all about her.

LolaSmiles · 05/06/2023 19:34

I wouldn't judge, but would find it unusual and briefly wonder why out of every colour out there they had to choose black.

ontheplayground · 05/06/2023 20:29

Maybe you could wear something else for the ceremony, but change into the black dress for the evening?

I do understand the lure of a fabulous dress. But if you're having to ask whether it's appropriate, then the answer is usually going to be no. Wedding photos last a long time and it's probably better to err on the safe side.

Highdaysandholidays1 · 05/06/2023 20:32

Ask! If it's a black and white/cream theme anyway, they might be more than happy, I think it would look great, but I wouldn't plunge ahead without asking.

Highdaysandholidays1 · 05/06/2023 20:33

I once attended a winter wedding at a famous club in London and pretty much everyone was wearing black (and... other colours, trim, different colour shoes)- it was very chic.

LysHastighed · 05/06/2023 20:35

Having bridesmaids is for the same reason as not wearing green, it’s to avoid fairies stealing people. The bridesmaid tradition seems to have more longevity.

drpet49 · 05/06/2023 20:44

Commonsensitivity · 01/05/2023 03:45

Personally it would send a subliminal message. It's the one occasion I would totally avoid black. Do you want everyone to be looking at you? Don't do it

This, don’t do it.

CountryParsonPetal · 05/06/2023 20:56

I'd think the black outfit indicates a subtle message about the marriage.

nutmegnook · 05/06/2023 21:07

EconomyClassRockstar · 01/05/2023 02:35

Or is it now completely acceptable? The dress is floor length and fabulous and my future in law is ok with it but I would hate to think anyone would think I was being funereal because I love them!

Well I had a monochrome theme to my wedding so most guests wore black!

dudsville · 05/06/2023 21:14

Personally i wouldn't judge anyone for what they wote to a wedding or a funeral or any other event. I presume they're living their best life or doing the best they can with what they have. I don't think the rules are made up, the rules exist, but for the upper classes, and I think the rest of us have spent hundreds of years trying to display that we know how to be "proper" too. What interests me more is whether the person is good and kind socially. I'd judge harshly for instance if someone was rude and inconsiderate, because we live in a world with others and need to be respectful. If you can do that in gold lame at a funeral or black leather at a wedding then i will be pleased as punch.

throwawayaway1 · 05/06/2023 23:35

I wouldn't judge in the slightest. She seems to have pulled it off pretty well

Would you judge a mother of the bride or groom for wearing black?
Seddon · 05/06/2023 23:42

1st wedding my MIL wore all black - groom was also in head to toe black and so was my bridesmaid. I remember my own mum tutting about it but I thought she looked great. MIL was a delightful woman and seemed very happy for us, I doubt she was making a statement she was just a bit of a 'rock chick' and black was her norm.

2nd wedding I wore black myself!

Original poster
EconomyClassRockstar · 31/10/2023 00:54

Just to come back and update. The wedding was the other day and I looked awesome but nowhere near as AMAZING as my now daughter in law looked. It was a great success and my black dress rocked.

OP posts:
Fifireee · 31/10/2023 05:14

My mother in law wore dark grey to my wedding. She was mourning the loss of her perfect boy to this evil woman.
I think in the pictures you’d stand out in too much of a contrast to the bride.

nofusspot · 31/10/2023 06:29

Yes sorry. Unless the bride and groom are going for a colour story that fits.

ShandaLear · 31/10/2023 06:30

I wore black with cream accessories to my brother's wedding and it looked appropriate. This is a bit OTT Chanel but you get the general idea.

https://pin.it/10sAfDN

Annie adlı kullanıcının Black and Cream panosundaki Pin, 2023

02.May.2023 - Bu Pin, Annie tarafından keşfedildi. Kendi Pinlerinizi keşfedin ve Pinterest'e kaydedin!

https://pin.it/10sAfDN

MarzipanKnees · 31/10/2023 06:37

I wouldn’t judge at all. Tbh, I can’t imagine going to a celebration and judging people by what they’re wearing.

MarzipanKnees · 31/10/2023 06:38

EconomyClassRockstar · 31/10/2023 00:54

Just to come back and update. The wedding was the other day and I looked awesome but nowhere near as AMAZING as my now daughter in law looked. It was a great success and my black dress rocked.

Ah, this is lovely!

Startingagainandagain · 31/10/2023 07:57

Come on, you know it is inappropriate...

Of all the colours and outfits you could choose to wear, it is just odd that the only thing you could think of is a long black dress.

The custom is not to do anything to take any attention away from the bride.

Wear something that is not controversial in any way and let the spotlight be on the right people.

Really it isn't that difficult.

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