What makes you think someone is poor?

[Userchange]

What makes you think someone is poor?

I'd really like to know because I've had so many people assume that I'm poor (and not just in the last few years). Not people that really know me but like shop assistents or nurses and such people. I've had plenty of remarks that something like the ronald mcdonalds house would cost me too much money (was 15 euro a night).

I'm not poor. Far from it. I'm a SAHM in a detached house in a nice village. I style my hair every other day, wear minimal make up, always wear some fine gold jewelry. Granted, I don't wear brand names, but I do wear a proper wool coat, real leather handbag and leather loafers. I prefer buying pieces that are good quality and last than just pay for a brand. I don't have a noticable regional accent. DH makes a lot of money. I used to be poor when younger and apparantly I still look it in some way.

I don't have to look like you should rob me, but I would like the concerned poor remarks go away. So tell me, when you see someone, what makes you think that they're poor?

[FindingMeno]

There's nothing about what you have mentioned that makes me think that.
I'm assuming everything is well fitting and clean?

[Yoyooo]

What have people said which makes you think they think you're poor?

Does it matter to you? Do you want tips on how to look more wealthy?

[PixellatedPixie]

I have friends, a male and female couple, who are quite well off but wear vintage looking clothes and have a bit of a Bohemian look. People have assumed they don’t have lots of money because of their “look” although I would know off the bat that some people naturally have a more hippy clothing style that has nothing to do with their income.

[ARoughRide]

If you’ve been poor in the past, are you sure you aren’t still carrying the shame around and assuming some of the things? (Obvs not the 15 euro thing!)
no you shouldn’t feel shame, but I know I’ve been bothered hugely in the past because we were v poor when I was growing up, I never had the right clothes, bag etc and I know I carry myself with less confidence than someone who has the luxury of wealth, even though I am comfortable now.

[FlounderingFruitcake]

Ronald McDonald houses are free aren’t they and for the families of very sick children? How on earth did that conversation about you not being able to afford it even happen?

[user1465390476]

‘I don’t have a noticeable regional accent.’ 😂
i know what you mean though OP. I don’t think anyone ever thinks I have money, at least I don’t think so because we get ignored in fancy shops and car showrooms. Our household income last year was in excess of £300,000 so we’re doing ok. These days I just chuckle at their stupidity.

[Galadriel90]

I'm assuming people are being sarcastic and you are misinterpreting this? Could that be it?

[3WildOnes]

The opposite of what you are describing. Poorly fitting clothes in polyester might signify a lack of money. Accents can be a marker of wealth too.

Brands definitely dont make me think lots of money.

I probably dress similarly to you and have never experienced any of what you described so I doubt it is your clothing.

[Icecreamandapplepie]

I think trying to get people to list what they think looks poor is in bad taste.

Much nicer to askvwhat makes a person look wealthy, of you're really that bothered about it.

[Dontknownow86]

Are your clothes in good condition still and ironed / dry cleaned? You say you style your hair but is it cut / coloured regularly?

I sometimes think lack of well done makeup 'natural look' can make you look not well off too. Shame because I can't be bothered to wear it!

[Cileymyrus]

@3WildOnes

The opposite of what you are describing. Poorly fitting clothes in polyester might signify a lack of money. Accents can be a marker of wealth too.

Brands definitely dont make me think lots of money.

I probably dress similarly to you and have never experienced any of what you described so I doubt it is your clothing.

This. I dress like a bag lady and people seem to assume I’m loaded 😂. I drive a proper banger as well so it’s not that.

I am over educated so I wonder if it’s that. Although if you have a neutral accent that can make people assume you’re “posh”.

[user1465390476]

Everyone has an accent. There is no such thing as a neutral accent.

[BlueKaftan]

Scraped back hair and fake tan, at least around where I live. I don’t care what someone else wears though.

[mrsharrisgoestoparis]

Well I don't think rich people wear their wealth. But I have thought on numerous occasions when I meet a very overly friendly man (in 70's) at shop with very young girlfriend say 30's they are both lovely, but quite untidy, they smell of cigarette smoke with stained fingers and are always buying smokes. They look really unhealthy and are always buying sweets as well. I am not looking down my nose at them they are both really sweet people, they drive a very untidy car with stinky fingers stains on the back windows. They just look poor to me, they both have never worked and they don't seem to ever buy fresh food. Plus they are a lot happier than me (I think)

[Knoblauch]

That's a very leading question for the S&B board...You don't sound like 'poor' and you don't sound like you look/appear 'poor' either. I'm not going to list of a reel of 'poor person' attributes because it's all subjective isn't it.

[DancingWithMyPoolCue]

I definitely look poorer than I am- don't spend a lot on clothes, often got a bit of mud on me. DH walks about in clothes which are so ragged that they barely qualify as clothes- yesterday a shirt with the whole inner part of the collar hanging out- so long as it provides some protection from the elements and probably won't lead to indecent exposure, it's wearable. We're both rich, just not very interested (scrub up ok for special occasions though).

My guess for you, OP, is that you're being over-sensitive and that maybe the people you were talking to about the RM have a policy of not making assumptions about whether something is affordable. You sound very well turned out.

[Cileymyrus]

@user1465390476

Everyone has an accent. There is no such thing as a neutral accent.

Ok then an accent that doesn’t have an obvious regional origin 🙄

[Userchange]

@Icecreamandapplepie

I think trying to get people to list what they think looks poor is in bad taste.

Much nicer to askvwhat makes a person look wealthy, of you're really that bothered about it.

I get why you say that but I don't feel the need to look wealthy as such. Just normal would be fine. I don't like standing out either way.

[Knoblauch]

Ronald McDonald's House is a non profit charity. It's free to stay there. What were you paying €15 a night for?

[Userchange]

@Dontknownow86

Are your clothes in good condition still and ironed / dry cleaned? You say you style your hair but is it cut / coloured regularly?

I sometimes think lack of well done makeup 'natural look' can make you look not well off too. Shame because I can't be bothered to wear it!

Good question!

I don't colour my hair (not grey yet and I like my natural colour) and I don't cut it often, about once every three months, because it's curly and to me it looks fine between cuts. But maybe I'm wrong and it's noticable? I'll ask my hair dresser next time.

[ItsMeAnnie]

Hair in bad condition
Hair badly dyed so roots showing
Scraped back facelift hairstyles
Obviously fake fake tan
Horrible long nail extensions
Too many rings- usually on every finger
Loads of thick (fake) gold jewellery
Bad teeth
Bitten nails
Scruffy clothes- especially thin leggings, too tight or ill fitting clothes

[BeginningToLookALotLike]

Maybe it's where you live. Perhaps 'rich' to these people means always wearing the latest ranges from the latest brands and having up to date and obviously apparent hair and beauty treatments.

[user1465390476]

I think so-called neutral accents do have an obvious regional setting. South eastern affluent areas.

[Explodingatomickittens]

For me hair is a dead give away.. Posh girl hair is something I would love, you know extra thick, long bouncy... Perfect shade of chestnut or blonde... Roots & grey never show.

[NewFriday]

I think minimal make up and basic clothing, provided clean and not scruffy, is more likely to make me think money (or maybe posh, rather than money?) than someone who's obviously done a lot to their appearance.

My mum never does anything for her appearance, haircut when it starts getting on her nerves, at the cheapest place she can find. Nails always filthy from time spent in the garden, clothes cheap but always clean and ironed. We live in an area where there is lots of deprivation, but people always seem to recognise mum as someone "respectable". That's not to say people without money aren't respectable, but it is really interesting to watch the different response she gets in e.g. the bank or the doctors compared to people who live literally a couple of streets from her.

Maybe it's diction rather than appearance? Although mum doesn't have a posh accent she does have an expansive vocabulary.