What makes you think someone is poor?

[Userchange]

What makes you think someone is poor?

I'd really like to know because I've had so many people assume that I'm poor (and not just in the last few years). Not people that really know me but like shop assistents or nurses and such people. I've had plenty of remarks that something like the ronald mcdonalds house would cost me too much money (was 15 euro a night).

I'm not poor. Far from it. I'm a SAHM in a detached house in a nice village. I style my hair every other day, wear minimal make up, always wear some fine gold jewelry. Granted, I don't wear brand names, but I do wear a proper wool coat, real leather handbag and leather loafers. I prefer buying pieces that are good quality and last than just pay for a brand. I don't have a noticable regional accent. DH makes a lot of money. I used to be poor when younger and apparantly I still look it in some way.

I don't have to look like you should rob me, but I would like the concerned poor remarks go away. So tell me, when you see someone, what makes you think that they're poor?

Skin tone and hair/nail condition.

That sort of greyish complexion that speaks of insufficient fresh fruit and vegetables, not enough protein, unhealthy or polluted environment, possibly poor hygiene or a smoker. That sort of diet ages people and makes them look poor.

NB - this can also be true of people with anorexia. I was convinced a client was impoverished but she was just a recovering anorexic, so had the same lack of nutrients etc, but was very well off.

I just think it's bizarre that so many people have apparently suggested to you that you look poor! I know Dutch people are supposed to be more direct than British but its very odd. I sound like probably dress a lot scruffier than you on a daily basis (or at least when I'd be interacting with nurses/shop assistants like the examples you've given) but have never had anyone commenting on what they assume I can/can't afford. I can't even imagine how it would come up!

Similarly when I go about my daily life I don't evaluate how rich I assume everyone I interact with is, and if I did I'd never comment on it to them!

perhaps they were suggesting THEY considered whatever you were talking about expensive/out of budget/not worth the cost to them, so then extrapolated it to everyone else (i.e. this seems expensive to me so I assume its expensive to most people unless they are very rich) rather than making the decision that you personally are poor.

Was the the only incident that's made you think this?

I wouldn't be surprised if they apologise for the fee to everyone who needs it, it was no reflection on how poor you looked.

Bad teeth is pretty much the only thing that would make me think a person is poor. Also yellow fingers (from smoking) and greasy hair.
basically poor hygiene.
clothes and make up don’t matter

Round here mud, a couple of muddy labs and a shitty old car screams wealth. Why are people even commenting on your status?!

I've read this before. Have you already posted about this OP? Maybe on another board?

How odd that you think such comments have anything to do with how you look. Most likely people are just trying to be polite by not assuming everyone has money.

Just wondering how accents are an indication of wealth? I find that hard to understand, surely there are people with all accents that have wealth and people with all accents that don’t.

I think accents can be an indication of education and class and in UK we often conflate that with wealth.

Same here 😂

Drives knackered old olive green series 3 Landie with ripped seats and wears an even more knackered Barbour jacket covered in dog hairs.

Reality is that she lives on a 'farmstead' and has decently profitable B&B from the side of their house, all four kids are called Barney and in the same private school their dad went to. She is not quite sure what 'hubby' does, something to do with land management and finance but he is jolly good at it.

It’s not your clothes but the way you hold yourself, walk etc….

IF it was your clothes, MN wouldn’t be the right place to ask because the ‘rules’ aren’t the same in every country
eg no make up wouldn’t register in France

Agree with PP. They took the words out of my mouth...

It's the way you hold yourself

Okay, maybe this is it - you're in the Netherlands, but you're British. It can be hard to 'read' class in people from a different culture to your own, so perhaps this is a thing where there's something that's getting lost in translation?

To be honest, the Dutch are just incredibly blunt, so if they thought you were poor they'd probably tell you to your face, rather than dropping hints.

e.g. I have a regional accent, but it's not quite as broad as someone from the poorer side of town

I have put on weight and have a swollen face and bad skin and hair at the moment thanks to a long term high dose of steroids. I definitely notice people treating me differently at times.

I'm much wealthier now than i was when I was size 8 with long glossy blonde hair. But people like to make assumptions.

In any case , more fool anyone who judges on outward appearance rather than treating everyone well.

This.

Definitely down to your interpretation of each situation than anyone actually thinking you're poor

Being overweight, greasy thinning hair, grey tinge to skin, smell of stale vegetable fat, and carrying 'home bargain' bags, etc

@Userchange can you give us an insight into the Dutch wealthy appearance & it might help us advise you more? Are the Dutch incredibly well groomed?

To frame it more positively, I can tell you what looks 'comfortable' to me:
Well styled hair in good condition (hairdressing is not cheap)
Nice skin with a healthy look to it (sign of a good diet and time and money for skincare)
Shoes in decent condition (can afford to replace as needed)
Good teeth (again, dentistry costs a lot)
General air of confidence (often absent from people who struggle financially.)
Clothes and assessories are neither here nor there as amount spent on them is often not linked to income, and is very much about taste and priority. Its the person themselves without the trappings that gives the biggest clue.

Being overweight, greasy thinning hair, grey tinge to skin,

Steroids and other medication have given me all of this.

I mean I don't care if people think I am poor tbh, it's not something to be ashamed of. Some of my friends have very little money and are utterly amazing people.

But it does piss me off that people must look at me and make all kinds of judgements

designer clothes and big dogs

Bad haircut , leggings , easy clothes a bit shapeless, trainers. Sounds terribly judgy and doesn't sound like you are doing any of that

I'm Dutch and tbh asking a British based forum isn't going to be helpful as it's just a very different context. I've always lived in cities so even I would struggle to comment on the village dynamic. Are you Dutch yourself?

The Dutch are generally not so class obsessed or occupied with its markers as the Brits are (or maybe more specifically MN) and money/income is a bit of a forbidden subject in conversation so that anyone would comment on it is really odd to me. Equally it's seen as bad form to judge someone by their assumed income. Are you a bit timid with shop assistants, easily intimidated?

Why do people give a frig what others think of them and why are folks so dam judgy all the time.