What makes you think someone is poor?

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What makes you think someone is poor?

I'd really like to know because I've had so many people assume that I'm poor (and not just in the last few years). Not people that really know me but like shop assistents or nurses and such people. I've had plenty of remarks that something like the ronald mcdonalds house would cost me too much money (was 15 euro a night).

I'm not poor. Far from it. I'm a SAHM in a detached house in a nice village. I style my hair every other day, wear minimal make up, always wear some fine gold jewelry. Granted, I don't wear brand names, but I do wear a proper wool coat, real leather handbag and leather loafers. I prefer buying pieces that are good quality and last than just pay for a brand. I don't have a noticable regional accent. DH makes a lot of money. I used to be poor when younger and apparantly I still look it in some way.

I don't have to look like you should rob me, but I would like the concerned poor remarks go away. So tell me, when you see someone, what makes you think that they're poor?

Why is there concern about hair styling when someone told you that you look so poor you can’t afford to stay in a free house next to the hospital where presumably you have a very ill child receiving treatment? Is the obvious conclusion not that they’re a twat and not to start questioning your appearance?
Or am I missing something…

I'm not in the UK but in the Netherlands. It does cost a little money here.

You probably look quite well off too tbh haha. Lots of the wealthiest people I've met look like they've just been on a 15 mile country hike at all times.

Poor hygiene.

Nah, I shower every day. Just don't do my hair every day.

It sounds like it could be my hair. It's curly but also very fine and I have less volume on top than on the bottom.

You can’t tell if anyone is rich or poor without known what is in their bank account!
My own father dresses in scruffy clothes half the time but is absolutely loaded yet my sil wears designers clothes and is on UC. My friend has a huge monthly income from renting out houses yet spends his life in dog walking clothes.
Why worry what a shop assistant thinks of you? If they are that superficial it’s not even worth engaging in a conversation with someone like that.

That time it was a midwife and I was being discharged but my child was in NICU so I needed to stay nearby (c section, couldn't drive) and where I live the Ronald Mcdonald house isn't free. Nice that it is in the UK though!

Maybe its lack of confidence?

I’m fairly well off (private school kids etc) but dress like a total scruff-bag cos I do not give a shit what I look like, life is too short to brush hair or clean shoes. But I stand tall, look someone in the eye, and smile while I speak firmly and authoritatively (think slightly pissed off lawyer vibe) and the staff jump to do what I want and try to sell me lotsa stuff.

Maybe you’re not coming across as confident?

Quietly expensive can be achieved with clean, well cut (not necessarily new) clothes, a decent hair cut, and cared for (but not bling) nails. Clean, cared for shoes too.

So I supposed the opposite of that, uncut hair, split nails, dirty clothes or threads hanging loose, buttons missing, muddy shoes. Generally poor care and poor attention to detail.

It's really not about clothes, there are plenty of comfortably off people who don't fuss about their appearance but are still obviously middle class. I work in a very poor town and when you go into the post office it smells of poverty because the people there are less likely to be able to afford to look after their health.

Do you smoke? Do you eat a healthy diet with lots of fruit and veg (now or as a child)? How much do you drink? Do you exercise? Are you overweight? It will be one of these things making you look less healthy and so poorer.

How are your teeth and nails? Do you smoke?

My mum suffered a bit from this - when she went to get her engagement ring valued the staff were very off with her until they saw it!

She did nothing with her hair. It was clean but cut in a non style. She also smokes and had lots of smokers lines. She carried random shopping bags. She rarely wore make up.

I know I could look better / more polished but I don't had the time. Working from home I don't see the need for full / any make up! Plain / probably a bit frumpy clothes and a bit overweight.

I don't have a noticable regional accent.

Poorly fitting clothes in polyester might signify a lack of money

🤣🤣🤣I'm sorry but this thread is hilarious!

Look, just ignore them OP - YOU know you're doing fine and that's all that matters. Some people for whatever reason like talking down to others - maybe it makes them feel better.
I DO have a regional accent and have been at the end of passive aggressive comments in the past - I just giggle to myself secure in the knowledge that our income is likely vastly higher than anything they could imagine. We're not flash, and I don't feel the need to be because I'm happy as I am.

when you go into the post office it smells of poverty

And another one!🤣

Maybe you’re not coming across as confident?

I agree with this also - confidence is key.

Yes, some people 'misread' social class markers (which may necessarily not indicate wealth, obviously, but are related). Like some people's idea of a 'rich person's house' would be Mrs Hinch's greigefest and mirrored furniture, and they might view a Cotswolds dower house with a crusty Aga and venerable oak furniture as indicating poverty. Similarly with Essex social-influencer-style grooming versus its lack.

Is it possible nurse just meant that if you were likely to need it for an extended stay it would add up? i.e. no one would be able to afford it?

What was the alternative?

What a weird and totally unprofessional assumption. It’s not like 15 euros is even a lot of money, or that someone ‘poor’ wouldn’t do what they could to come up with the money to stay near their NICU baby. If that awful midwife is an example of whoever is making comments about you then I’m sure there’s absolutely nothing wrong with your appearance.

What a peculiar thread!

I wonder whether you are seeing things as personal when they aren't? The midwife may be trained to check with every patient whether they can afford the €15, for instance.

Other than that, people have a certain demeanour which is separate from their clothes or hair - I doubt it is this in your case though. And I am certain nobody thinks you are poor because your hair is a bit flat on the second day.

A grey hint to the skin, dark circles, gaunt hollow look, unhealthy, malnourished. I think most people just look normal though.

Since Monday I have paid for no less than 5 return bus journeys so according to a comment on another thread a few days ago that makes me poor. Ridiculous of course!
I am poor compared to someone with a million in the bank but rich next to someone with £1 to their name.

You absolutely can not tell a person's wealth or lack of by their clothes,hair,car etc. I can take a short walk from my modest small home and stroll past huge houses worth eye watering prices and the people who live in them vary from smartly designer dressed Ferrari drivers to scruffy people who are hippy throwbacks and wear stuff which looks dowdy and drab.

To answer the OP nothing these days would make me think a person is poor simply from their appearance, except of course for the homeless in their sleeping bags.

I'm short & overweight.

I could be dressed in a wool coat that cost more than a grand & I doubt that I would look well off!

Maybe your grooming is too obvious?

Perhaps it's a lack of confidence which comes across?
Do you make eye contact when you talk to people? Basically " hold your head up high?"
I can't think of any reason otherwise

Half-starved orphan
Barefeet
Wearing rags
Victorian East End Accent
An impressive repertoire of singing and dance numbers.