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Original poster

What makes you think someone is poor?

277 replies

Userchange · 26/01/2023 15:02

What makes you think someone is poor?

I'd really like to know because I've had so many people assume that I'm poor (and not just in the last few years). Not people that really know me but like shop assistents or nurses and such people. I've had plenty of remarks that something like the ronald mcdonalds house would cost me too much money (was 15 euro a night).

I'm not poor. Far from it. I'm a SAHM in a detached house in a nice village. I style my hair every other day, wear minimal make up, always wear some fine gold jewelry. Granted, I don't wear brand names, but I do wear a proper wool coat, real leather handbag and leather loafers. I prefer buying pieces that are good quality and last than just pay for a brand. I don't have a noticable regional accent. DH makes a lot of money. I used to be poor when younger and apparantly I still look it in some way.

I don't have to look like you should rob me, but I would like the concerned poor remarks go away. So tell me, when you see someone, what makes you think that they're poor?

OP posts:
DoubleHelix79 · 17/07/2023 14:13

Ticketybloop · 16/02/2023 13:47

Things need to be brand spanking new, preferably with a label in order to be considered the wealthy classes. A very new and big car on the drive and minimalist lifestyle indoors.

Yes, we live in this region and the description is spot on. The whole ‘scruffy=posh’ scenario does not apply across the channel. My grandmother was German, and throughout my childhood they only ever drove brand new Audis that they would trade in every 3-5 years. They felt it was unsafe and shabby to drive older cars.

I grew up in Germany. People definitely differentiate between 'old money' and the newly rich ('Neureiche'). Old money people would typically wear good quality but relatively plain clothes (unless at a special event). Cars would be new and clean but not necessarily flashy. Footballer chique is looked down on by people with a moneyed background. Not too far off British attitudes.

BCBird · 06/08/2023 22:01

Intrigued why having a distinguishable regional accent means poverty. Stopped reading OP.

orangetriangle · 07/08/2023 22:27

bad teeth
poor hygiene
lots of cheap jewellery
fake tan
jogging bottoms
thin cheap looking leggings
long brightly coloured painted nails
dodgy hair extensions

orangetriangle · 07/08/2023 22:33

shoes that need re heeling
piercings
dodgy tattoos

orangetriangle · 07/08/2023 22:38

grubby hoodies
grubby Jean's
mismatching socks
badly dyed hair

Makemineacosmo · 07/08/2023 23:12

People assume I'm poor because of my accent. I really don't care though, I like it.

GarlicGrace · 08/08/2023 01:04

Hillrunning · 26/01/2023 16:14

How odd that you think such comments have anything to do with how you look. Most likely people are just trying to be polite by not assuming everyone has money.

I'm going with this.

I have noticed that wealthy people look supernaturally clean. Even the super-rich individuals with no hairstyle, wearing battered macs and carrying their stuff in Tesco bags, have ultra-clean skin & fingernails.

It takes a lot of effort, I can tell you. Averagely well-off people don't look that clean, because they have to do normal stuff that leaves a slight deposit as they go about their days. I seriously doubt that anyone's evaluating your economic status by your (quite high-quality) appearance! Come and have a look at me, if you like - you'll instantly feel superior 😂

Wallywobbles · 08/08/2023 05:55

Much more likely to be about confidence and the way you project yourself.

Usernamen · 08/08/2023 08:13

LadyOfTheCanyon · 01/02/2023 10:38

I know that this article is in S&B so is angled at what people wear and how they present, but to be honest it's basically a question about class.

I mean, how poor are we talking? I work in retail in an area that has crushing poverty right up against million pound houses, so I see and talk to hundreds of people a day.

If I'm looking at people who I think are one step away from homeless levels of poor then it's normally the lack of anything that could have been sold - no watch or jewellery, dirty clothes because they can't afford bills/laundrette. Belongings carried in a carrier bag rather than a handbag or rucksack. Unkempt or uncared for hair. No make up.

However - lots of working class people will dress extremely well - clean, ironed etc even if the clothes are from Asda and Primark. There's a lot more riding on your presentation when you're more likely to draw the eye of Social Services.
Also traditionally, working class families in working class areas had much stricter social 'rules' about wash days, laundry, 'Sunday best' etc.

You might have been on the bones of your arse and eating bread and dripping for tea but by God you were scrubbed with carbolic and had your scuffed school shoes filled in with marker pen. It's that tradition that has its roots in the Saturday night, all out dress up going out look. Also a demographic more likely to use credit to allow them to buy things that might be traditionally out of their budget.

Middle class people can send their kids out covered in dog hair and holey jumpers because they're bohemian and free, don't you know. The middle class people I see also wear an unholy amount of gym clothes as regular day wear, so they are signalling that they don't just have the time and money to go to the gym but are so hellishly busy that they don't have time to change - why they barely had time to grab this coffee from Gail's!

So I wouldn't know looking at the two types of people who was poorer in terms of how much was in the bank. I might assume the working class person was ( and I'd infer they were working class from accent as much as anything) just due to the fact that they were likely to have a blue collar job that paid less. Equally they could be a plumber and be raking it in.

Extremely rich people are outliers in this scenario as they can dress flashily, conservatively or like tramps.

Sorry to jump on this, because I know you posted it a while back, but why on earth do people think that wearing gym clothes is trying to signal anything? I live in them because they are THE comfiest clothes imaginable.

The leggings I wear are like a second skin, a hoodie is very practical (deep zipped pockets and a hood) and I’ll be damned if I walk around in anything other than trainers to go about business - the days of squeezing my feet into boots or cute sandals are long gone.

Yes, I am sometimes on my way to/heading back from the gym, but more often I’m just out shopping or meeting a friend for lunch and wanting to be comfortable and ready for anything.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 08/08/2023 10:13

@Usernamen

My point was that a lot of the time clothes signal class affiliation.
Yes, gym wear is comfortable - what I am talking about is what my H calls the 'Clapham Wellness Woman' - High ponytail of glossy, expensive hair, gym honed figure, spotless trainers, honey-golden tan. They dress like this when they are wandering around NorthCote Road pushing a pram - it's entirely about signifying that you are part of a club that has plenty of leisure time.

I appreciate that this may be a location specific thing but there will be regional variations.

Usernamen · 08/08/2023 10:29

LadyOfTheCanyon · 08/08/2023 10:13

@Usernamen

My point was that a lot of the time clothes signal class affiliation.
Yes, gym wear is comfortable - what I am talking about is what my H calls the 'Clapham Wellness Woman' - High ponytail of glossy, expensive hair, gym honed figure, spotless trainers, honey-golden tan. They dress like this when they are wandering around NorthCote Road pushing a pram - it's entirely about signifying that you are part of a club that has plenty of leisure time.

I appreciate that this may be a location specific thing but there will be regional variations.

I won’t tell you where I live then 😁

But seriously, my point is I don’t think anyone is consciously signalling that they have lots of leisure time. Let’s face it, if you’re sitting in Gail’s or pushing a pram down Northcote Rd in the middle of the day you’re likely to be on maternity/parental leave and therefore people assume you have lots of leisure time, relatively speaking, anyway. No signalling through activewear required!

GarlicGrace · 08/08/2023 16:49

Yeah, and it really does take a lot of time & money to look like that. I was one such, in the same area of London. Have gone all the way downhill since!

GarlicGrace · 08/08/2023 19:02

... and on that topic, if slightly off thread, why has this not changed in 30+ years? As I sauntered towards Clapham Junction station with my glossy pony-tail, honey tan and gym-toned figure in close-fitted athleisure and supple leather flats, the women @Usernamen sees were being potty trained. Shouldn't they have come up with something else by now??

kimonoblues · 08/08/2023 20:42

Clapham Junction is very socially deprived

60% and 65% eligible for free school meals in the 2 closest schools

GarlicGrace · 08/08/2023 21:41

@kimonoblues https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/Clapham-Junction.html

Howlingmoor · 08/08/2023 22:12

People just make odd assumptions- a lady once asked me if I had ‘family around me’ in a concerned head tilty way because she heard I was pregnant… I think she thought I was a very young single mum or something 🤷‍♀️. I was 27 and happily married.

NoEffingWay · 08/08/2023 22:12

I'm the opposite, I am skint most of the time but people assume I have money!

Mainly it's my MC accent, decent shoes and haircut, and my makeup is the nicer stuff, and I wear it lightly.

My background is very MC, but my income doesn't match it!

SweetSakura · 08/08/2023 23:15

Howlingmoor · 08/08/2023 22:12

People just make odd assumptions- a lady once asked me if I had ‘family around me’ in a concerned head tilty way because she heard I was pregnant… I think she thought I was a very young single mum or something 🤷‍♀️. I was 27 and happily married.

I got this all the time when my children were tiny, I was married, and had a well paid professional job. But looking back I did look very young for my age (I was 29 when DS was born but probably looked early -mid 20s) and a lot of the other mums in our village were having their babies in their late 30s/early 40s. I also am not into fancy cars or clothes so I guess people just leapt to conclusions. On the plus side it weeded out the awful people as the snobs declined to get to know me, but I made some lovely friends with the others

Girlattheback · 09/08/2023 00:15

GarlicGrace · 08/08/2023 01:04

I'm going with this.

I have noticed that wealthy people look supernaturally clean. Even the super-rich individuals with no hairstyle, wearing battered macs and carrying their stuff in Tesco bags, have ultra-clean skin & fingernails.

It takes a lot of effort, I can tell you. Averagely well-off people don't look that clean, because they have to do normal stuff that leaves a slight deposit as they go about their days. I seriously doubt that anyone's evaluating your economic status by your (quite high-quality) appearance! Come and have a look at me, if you like - you'll instantly feel superior 😂

Show quote history

”slight deposit” 😱😳

NatashaDancing · 09/08/2023 00:42

I read about half this thread when it first appeared and the last page tonight and I still have no idea what the point of it is.

ConnieTucker · 09/08/2023 00:48

how is your skin? How is your posture?

GarlicGrace · 09/08/2023 01:18

NatashaDancing · 09/08/2023 00:42

I read about half this thread when it first appeared and the last page tonight and I still have no idea what the point of it is.

Point? You want Point ???

WeeStyleIcon · 27/10/2023 09:26

I spent years disguising how poor I was! I wore plain clothes. Navy v neck jumper. V simple jewellery. No crazy colours in yr hair. But then, at times, it suited me that people knew I was "poor". I remember being asked for €25 euro for a teacher's present. I gave €5.

Tsukiko · 27/10/2023 13:03

You may not be poor but you are astonishingly insecure.
Who even thinks about how people struggling in poverty dress?
When you see poverty, it is quite often visible, especially in children.
This is a fucking tasteless post, and I say that as someone who lives in comfort.

Tsukiko · 27/10/2023 13:07

In fact it is utterly, utterly embarrassing. I regret MN don't delete such threads considering how many people are so clearly struggling. But I imagine it pulls eyeballs to ads.

Posts like this always gain a great amount of traction, too, which suggests to me that the appearance of wealth obsesses the MN demographic in something of an unhealthy way.

Appearing to possess wealth will not fill the void. If it did, affluent first world countries wouldn't have such high rates of depression. Dress in a way you find appropriate and tasteful, have some fun and maybe chat to someone about the ...void.