Wearing an unflattering outfit to a party

[Pickingmyselfup]

I'm having a total nightmare trying to find a dress for a party in a couple of weeks. It's a dressy ish event so I wanted to go with a long dress but my hips are so enormous that they all look stupid.

I found a dress that looks nice enough but people have told me it pretty much looks awful but I'm tempted to wear it anyway. It is appropriate and it's comfy!

Pic attached of the offending dress. I look better in a super short dress because they make me look taller but they aren't appropriate so there we go.

I've tried on so many now and none of them look wow and it's just making me more and more miserable that I'm such an enormous lump so I give up. I'm either wearing this or not going.

@Swissnotswiss it's just an old fashioned way of thinking to dress "for your figure". Sorry if that's weird to hear but it's true. If you look at gen Z and what they wear they dress because it's stuff they like and is fashionable, not because it hides their "bingo wings" or hips.

It's all a bit Trinny and Susannah to worry about what works for your hips.

Not sure why anyone is taking a pop at other posters. The OP did ask for opinions.

Exactly. If we all liked the same things it would be a dull world!

You've a great figure and both dresses are lovely. I'd add some shapewear underwear to showcase your curves. M&S do some great shapewear underwear

It really is. I’d look like Cinderella’s old, fat, ugly sister. But even when young and thin they’d have been awful on me, to be honest.

Your way of thinking is pretty ageist. So if I don't like the first dress it's not because I also have a valid opinion on fashion, it's because I've been brainwashed by Trinny and Susannah.....righty-ho.

Ok so when I've finished here I'm going to go buy some control shorts and a bra and retry things on and see what it looks like then.

Thanks for the opinions, I'll report back this evening!

@Swissnotswiss I wasn't responding to your comment about the dress. I've no idea what you actually said about the dress or style of dress. I was referring to all the comments from people telling her she should wear something more flattering for her body type. If you don't like the dress that's fine. If you are telling her that the dress is not right because she has big thighs or because she is a pear shape and therefore needs to wear something to balance her out then I'm telling you that's an old fashioned point of view.

Long dresses also an issue for my height

Seamstresses or good tailors who do alterations are your friend here.

Or learn to sew. I make most of my clothes and it means I can dress in what I like, not what the manufacturers think I should wear this year.

@bravelittletiger I agree that it is an old fashioned view and I'm one of the posters who suggested a different cut to balance op's figure out. Gen Z do wear whatever they like without care for fashion rules or body shape however it doesn't mean they actually look good.

I’ve found a Lipsy dress on sale at Next, would work with your figure and has just enough class and sparkle to make it more Oscar like. It’s £60 though so a little above budget.

The first dress is by far the best OP. That high hip to waist differential you have is a very popular look these days, so you don't need to worry about hiding or balancing your hips. You'll be the envy of a lot of young women who spend hours in the gym trying to get what nature gave you! And unless you mix with celebrities, I'd say objectively theres not going to be many women whose figures look better in a dress like that than yours does.
(I would say though, if you want to see what other people are seeing, you need to straighten your mirror. Leaning mirrors do tend to give a very different look)

For a formal look it's about balancing things out, and good underwear is key.

You have a lovely figure OP. Nice cinched in waist.

What you want to be doing is balancing out your shoulders and hips whilst emphasising your lovely figure with a nipped in waist.

This is what photo 4 does for you, the square shoulder is balancing out your hips whilst the tight waist is drawing attention in there.

Dress 3 I think out of all fits the bill. The v neck and breast area balances out the hip, whilst showing off your waist.

Vertical slips like the first with no eye catching neck line are hard to pull off, and the second hides the hip but I don't think you like this dress too much, so don't do it.

But most importantly, wear what you feel comfortable and confident in. 80% attitude and 20% fitting. You'll carry a dress better with confidence.

You look lovely OP.

From your initial description, and photos of dresses 1 and 2, I thought you were about 60! But you're 38 and a size 6. They are really frumpy old-fashioned dresses. That sparkly Hush one looked more suitable (but looked like it might be cheap in real life). Is it an important work do thing or just a theme for a fancy dress party?

I think you look stunning! Your figure is amazing

Umm well definitely not 60!

It's just the Xmas party but in January because December is our busiest time.

I suggest taking some more photos of dress one and posting them. Closer up and when you are standing normally. It is quite hard to tell what is really is like in the photo you posted.

Suggestions:

Matte black palazzo pants or cigarette pants with a satin/ shiny/ eye catching top, preferably with a boat neck. Or a top in same fabric as the pants, and a contrasting, boxy bolero, maybe sequined.

I think a glamorous, contrasting boxy bolero would make the first dress work.

Or a jumpsuit with a deep v neck, flowy pants, and a contrasting belt to show off your waist.

Or mermaid / fishtail shaped long skirt on a dress with boat neck. Emphasise your lovely waist with a contrasting cummerbund or belt.

Lol Gen Z is young enough to get away with wearing totally hideous, unflattering outfits 😆

OP I like the 2nd best, but it might be a good idea to trust your fam instead of listening to internet strangers …

From what I can see (hello teen daughter) gen z-ers are all skinny as rakes and can therefore wear anything. Yes, I'm old enough to dress 'for my shape.' I'm not trying to convince anyone I don't have hips though...

All four dresses you have posted are very dated. They're not retro or classic vintage, just old and do very little for you. This is a shame, as you do have a nice figure.

The @CiderJolly dresses from Holly W and Virgos lounge will be great on your figure. Get a good bra too.

...and avoid thick belts and cummerbunds; you're too short to start with and they'll sit too high on you because of your hips, so your top half will look even smaller, creating a lack of proportion.

Ok so I have retried on the black dress with tights and a bra and I do like it and I feel like it fits the bill with glitzy accessories. Might cut the legs off my tights though, I bought control shorts but they do less than my current pair of control tights.

Maybe it does make my hips look big but at the end of the day it's pretty clear how big my hips are in day to day life so it's not exactly a shock.

It hides my legs which are also a sticking point of mine and I like the way it looks from the side.

I mean it's pretty clear I have a bum and a bit of an overhang from 2 c sections but actually I think I look pretty damn good and I should just say sod it.

I have debated if a belt would break it up or if it's very 00s.

Sorry OP I'm not a fan. It's fine, but I think you can do better. If what you'd like to wear is a crop top and faux leather trousers, what about swapping the trousers for formal trousers? You could then wear them to work etc after so it's not like spending £60 on a party dress. Or mix in different fabrics, like velvet can make an outfit look more festive/dressy. For example I like what Hailee Steinfeld is wearing in this link. Or something like this? Something like this would be dressy enough but I'm not sure if the shape of the trousers would suit your shape.

I think the skirt is too tight on your dress, and also the length is wrong. It cuts you off at the ankle.

I think you look good. The fact is, you are very curvy from the waist down and it's not something that needs to be hidden!?