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Original poster

I look better in my head than I do in RL

140 replies

YellowHpok · 27/12/2022 19:02

Is this common? Just back from a family do. I made an effort, looked nice. Cool even. Then family send me some pics and I realise I essentially look like my brother in a wig, which isn't the look I'm going for.

Not a single nice photo of me that matches how I perceived myself in the mirror. I don't think I'm a stunner by any means, but I was quote shocked at the disconnect.

Anyone else get this?

OP posts:
Waystation · 27/12/2022 21:19

I’m a petite size 10 - my two BFs are taller and size 12s - every single photo they look tall and willowy and look I like a hobbit!

ZenNudist · 27/12/2022 21:19

This is me. Today I caught sight of myself in the window of Starbucks. I am really wide and my hat makes me look like a garden gnome. I was wearing comfy travelling clothes: cuffed combat trousers and a camo sweatshirt from hush with nice trainers and a big khaki puffy coat. I was aiming for cool casual but ended up gnome.

Ivofexpressoplease · 27/12/2022 21:20

100% relate. Aiming for French cool girl effortless chic, in the photos afterwards I look effortless but not in a good way

and fatter than I expect 🤣

Iamnotausername · 27/12/2022 21:25

There was some science-y thing about this. Most people feel the same way and it's something to do with the light in photos.

When you see yourself irl you see it in 3D and are so used to seeing it that way that when you see your face looking flat in a picture, it looks "off".

You spend more time looking at yourself than you do other people (in photos and irl) so you don't notice it as much for other people.

So basically, you look like you do in the mirror, not in the photo (phew!) but other people don't see much difference because they don't pay that much attention.

I'm not sure if that makes me feel worse or better tbh.

Iamnotausername · 27/12/2022 21:27

IRL I think I have a horse face. In photos it turns into a big ol' moon face. Work that one out.

HotChoxs · 27/12/2022 21:29

I don't know. I used to look at photos when I was younger and thought god I looked bad, I look at them now and wonder what on earth I was thinking.

Catslovepies · 27/12/2022 21:33

I'm the exact opposite of this. I look better in photos than I do in real life, so people who see my photo first then meet me are surprised I'm not particularly attractive. Being photogenic is actually not a good thing as you end up disappointing people inadvertently which is quite depressing!

EmmaAgain22 · 27/12/2022 21:35

Catslovepies · 27/12/2022 21:33

I'm the exact opposite of this. I look better in photos than I do in real life, so people who see my photo first then meet me are surprised I'm not particularly attractive. Being photogenic is actually not a good thing as you end up disappointing people inadvertently which is quite depressing!

I'm such a miuddle

I've had this too, my face photographs okay but the "burst sofa" effect, and being so short, still stuns me.

also, mirrors in other people's houses - I look much worse!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 27/12/2022 21:35

I just think it’s whether you’re photogenic or not. I’m really not. I hope I DO look better in real life than I do in photos.

it’s like hearing your own voice on an answerphone. You think it sounds horrible. When I hear mine like that I wonder how DH can stand me opening my mouth. 😆

LolaMoon · 27/12/2022 21:35

Aw sorry OP but this made me chuckle. Take heart though that some people just photograph well. I know people who aren’t great looking in real life but always look great in photos (taken by others so not filtered) and people who are very very attractive in real life but for some reason always look weird and unflattering in photos. I’ve noticed this phenomenon often. I think that’s what makes models so unique- they photograph amazingly. If it really bothers you, play around with some different looks and take photos to compare.

Jellybean2023 · 27/12/2022 21:36

I'm the same. I think I look good in the mirror but normally terrible in photos unless I don't know someone is taking them / they're natural. I'm not good at posing at all for them

mackthepony · 27/12/2022 21:38

I look alright till I stand next to my kids in the murror

Then I'm like wtaf

SuckItNietzsche · 27/12/2022 21:41

SeraphinaDombegh · 27/12/2022 19:14

My problem is the picture I have in my head of myself is about ten years out of date 😬 so in my head I'm still slim and young looking. In real life/photos I've now got a big bum, chunky thighs, a significant mum tum and far more grey hair than I think. I try not to look at photos of me 😣

This is me too!

TheLostNights · 27/12/2022 21:42

I hate photos of myself. Lanky hair, massive nose, fat cheeks, thin lips. This is why there are no photos of me.

Holihobbies · 27/12/2022 21:46

This might explain why people seem genuinely surprised IRL when they see me and can't stop commenting on how well I look, not just flattery like genuinely amazed that I actually look like a normal alive person and not the weird dead flat faced grinning weirdo they see in photos.

It does make me feel awful and judgemental that I often think other people look much worse IRL close up and without filters.

Funnywonder · 27/12/2022 21:49

Catslovepies · 27/12/2022 21:33

I'm the exact opposite of this. I look better in photos than I do in real life, so people who see my photo first then meet me are surprised I'm not particularly attractive. Being photogenic is actually not a good thing as you end up disappointing people inadvertently which is quite depressing!

It's amazing how photogenic some people are. DP's family all look absolutely amazing in photos and most of them are pretty ordinary! They all have very even features and great smiles, whereas I look like a Picasso.

LolaMoon · 27/12/2022 21:52

It does make me feel awful and judgemental that I often think other people look much worse IRL close up and without filters

I wouldn’t feel bad about that- filters make people look like a completely different person than they do in real life. I’ve noticed a massive difference in how tv presenters look now in HD. They’ve aged years overnight!!

Summer2424 · 27/12/2022 21:55

@YellowHpok i have the same thing! When i get the photos i think what the hell who is that!! I thought i looked really good but oh god in the photos i don't!

balkangrill · 27/12/2022 21:58

Well, I think all those cameras are faulty... Most cameras in my life are also faulty, maybe it is an evil camera conspiracy 😁 and many mirrors are involved too.
My granny used to have a brilliant old mirror which made you both taller and slimmer and blurred your face a bit. Everybody looked stunning in that mirror

Original poster
YellowHpok · 27/12/2022 22:04

balkangrill · 27/12/2022 21:58

Well, I think all those cameras are faulty... Most cameras in my life are also faulty, maybe it is an evil camera conspiracy 😁 and many mirrors are involved too.
My granny used to have a brilliant old mirror which made you both taller and slimmer and blurred your face a bit. Everybody looked stunning in that mirror

I really wish I could blame the camera! Alas all the other pictures look like a true reflection of the people in them 😭

OP posts:
TerrysNeapolitan · 27/12/2022 22:07

Bosk · 27/12/2022 19:34

Oh god, absolutely. In my head I look like Erin O'Connor.

In photos - Des O'Connor

HAHAHA! Brilliant!

catandcoffee · 27/12/2022 22:21

OP thanks for starting this post and all the contributing funny posters too.

I'm like a pale blob with no eyebrows and tiny eyes in pictures.

This is the reason I've not renewed my passport 👽

JamSandle · 27/12/2022 22:22

Oh.my.gosh YES.

In my head I'm a knockout ten out of ten but when I see myself in photos I think what? 🤣🤣🤣

Pipersouth · 27/12/2022 22:47

That’s how those photo sessions can charge a fortune for pictures -when you’ve had your hair and make up done in good lighting you look much more like you think you look!

1000yellowdaisies · 27/12/2022 22:54

Yes!!! All. The. Time. I leave the house for a do or even work thinking i look pretty good then see photos of myself and i look hideous. I don't know if i do actually photograph badly or if I'm just generally in denial about how i actually look until presented with the evidence!
Probably the latter... everyone else seems to photograph accurately :)
Tbh I'm glad i feel more attractive than i actually am most if the time, I'd hate to feel about myself daily the way i immediately feel when i see a photo of myself.

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