I look better in my head than I do in RL

[YellowHpok]

Is this common? Just back from a family do. I made an effort, looked nice. Cool even. Then family send me some pics and I realise I essentially look like my brother in a wig, which isn't the look I'm going for.

Not a single nice photo of me that matches how I perceived myself in the mirror. I don't think I'm a stunner by any means, but I was quote shocked at the disconnect.

Anyone else get this?

yes definitely I look fabulous and still 21 in my head 🤣 not the 45 year old that I actually am with terrible hair and skin and puffy eyes that always look tired even though I'm not.and don't get me started on photos ffs and I'm shit with hair and make-up so can't seem to make myself look any better. I've seen photos of friends where they've used fantastic apps and they look stunning I really need to discover there apps! I'm definitely still 21 in my head.

I get this!!!! 100%

I would LOVE to know the name for this. Its like the opposite of body dysmorphia. Or maybe it is dysmorphia but in a positive way 🤔

I can definitely practice taking a better picture. And the reverse image thing makes sense, sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself on TEAMS if someone shares their screen and that is a horrifying flip.

Teams is like an ugly mirror! The worst!!

@YellowHpok - I am not photogenic - I think this is A Thing - so some people suit the camera and some don't I don't .

I once read a funny thing where someone said ( they had worked on something with Sean Bean )" Do not underestimate how photogenic Sean Bean is - he is very photogenic , very photogenic " - by which I took he looks better on camera than in real life.

🤣🤣 yes.
I'm actually loving this thread as some of the comments are making me laugh. mind you the laughter will increase my laughter lines (crows feet) 🤣 but I don't have them in my head so it doesn't matter!

Yes. In my head, youthful, slim, a bit taller and 3 stone lighter. Then every time I walk past a mirror or window I get a shock at the hideous monster that must be following me about. Then I realise 'oh it's just me'. Very troll like. Hunched, with a mad look in my eye in photos. Glad I'm not the only one who sees myself like this.

A fresh picture of me, just taken, by anyone or even myself, looks dreadful but... when I look at that pic a few months or years later, I don't look that bad. I don't know why 😂

Absolutely!
I've a couple of friends in their 50s who are utterly convinced (and talk frequently about it, while suggesting I get an eye lift!) that they are gorgeous. Next time I get a comment about how old I look I'm going to correct them about their misconceptions.

I do though look like an old hobbit so...

Absolutely but I know it’s not just me. DH is ruggedly handsome IRL but the photo I took of him on Christmas Day - eek! He’s not even 50 let alone 60. It was a photo of a different man sitting with the kids I’m sure!

Absolutely. I have reverse body dysmorphia in mirrors, so seeing photos of myself is often shocking 😂

Yes! In my head I’m short, but I’m not short. And then I see a photo of all 5’ of me next to anyone normal sized (or even my not yet 11yo daughter…) and I look like a Borrower.

A borrower 😆 @TheOtherBoleynGirls

I'm so glad I posted, thought it was just me and that I was gonna get roasted for this!

Me!!!! I don't photograph well and have very good self esteem. Idgaf that I look better in my head than irl. My opinion on my looks is the only one I care about.

Yes! I don't have kids but now my friends kids are "oh, I'm taller than you" and they seem confused.

Try my way - I tell myself I look 70 and past it and then when I see myself I’m surprised I look quite ok 😂

This is my exact experience every time I look at photos. One time when I had my hair cut short and caught sight of myself in a mirror I got as far as saying 'Hi Sam, what are you doing here?' before I realised it was my own reflection.

I sympathise!

I was thinking about this the other day. My friend said she's always surprised by how good she actually looks in pictures. And I said oh I'm the opposite, I always think I look amazing and then I see a picture of me looking like a sweaty little gremlin.

My mum is beautiful not just my opinion everyone tells me this all the time. People say she's the best looking woman in the area I hear it all the time but photographs of her they're never ever nice there's the odd one but I'm talking maybe 5 nice photos in 50 years some people just don't photograph well.

I look so awful in photos. I'm the least photogenic person I know. It makes me feel really awkward around cameras which I think makes it worse because I look tense rather than relaxed. I assume I look that awful IRL. I feel I'm not a good judge!

Definitely. 'Looking like my brother in a wig' - that's me too 😬 🤣.

Sounds weird but have recently practiced smiling, and have looked better in some photos.

Another thing , young folk will routinely take numerous photos of each other, then check and delete the ones they don't like.

Me too. I think I can somehow "arrange" my face in the mirror so it reflects who I feel I am, and how I like to think I look. Then I see a photo and I look like a wizened angry parsnip with 12 necks, I don't know how but in the mirror I don't seems to have all the neck wrinkles but then in RL I relax, or the photo is from a different angle, and there they are! I also see my (critical, petulant) mum in how I look which gets me down.

Me too. I know I'm overweight, but I always colour and style my hair, wear make-up, paint my nails, and have got good skin. I saw a photograph, taken a week ago, on Facebook, and I look like Mr Tumble's mum!

It makes me feel really awkward around cameras which I think makes it worse because I look tense rather than relaxed.

Yes I relate to this. As soon I'm aware a camera is near me I cannot make a normal face, it kind of seizes up. If I try to smile it looks weird and exaggerated and I look like Gollum.

When people take photos they do so with the aim of making themselves / loved ones look better. I always look awful when someone other than me or dh takes the photo as everyone else has a different focus and could care less that the position I’m sitting in isn’t flattering.