I hate my hair please help! (With photo)

[SeaThingChild]

Has anyone got any suggestions for what I can do with my thick coarse frizzy hair, it's become really uncontrollable and is really getting me down (literally as it's so heavy!)

I've tried cutting it shorter and I've tried layers but both add even more volume which I want to avoid as it doesn't suit me. Straightening it takes longer to do than it lasts in my hair.

I dream of curls but despite trying the curly girl routine and various sulphate free and curly orientated products it never gets more than wavy and by day two it is just thick frizz.

I've actually googled wigs this week with a vague idea of shaving it off and giving up.

Any hairstyle/hair cut/product ideas would be brilliant.

Not what you want to hear I’m sure but I personally think it’s glorious! Please don’t cut that wonderful mane 😩 I’m sure someone more helpful will be along soon, with brilliant ideas on how to tame the frizz a little though

You need to see a hairdresser and talk about your options. Don't get it layered. Do get a restyle

A proper curly cut is what you need!

i think it’s lovely but looks quite dry. I agree get it cut by someone who knows how to cut curly hair.

It's absolutely beautiful. Agree, go to a hairdresser to get a good cut and product advice.
Try asking anyone you see with good curly hair where they go to get their hair cut.

You can find hairdressers that specialise in your type of hair. Why not hunt one out and treat yourself to a consultation and cut. They should be able to help with aftercare.

Agree you’ve got beautiful hair!

i would see a hairdresser for a new cut with no layers (keep the length!). Also some hydrating treatments will help with any frizz and generally make the texture more comfortable.

Ive tried lots of hair products and honestly the best I’ve found is L’Oréal Elseve. The conditioners leave my hair the softest of all.. maybe give it a try! I think they have one specifically for curly hair. Xx

Agree with AllyMcBeal, it would be a shame to do much to it. Are the top layers grey or bleached? As they are a bit frizzier than the underneath layers. If grey, it could be that the grey hair is coarser, maybe a darker semi permanent colour would make it a bit glossier, eg Casting or even Henna? If bleached, maybe it would be better to leave it the natural, darker colour.

Keep trying different products ! And go to specialist hairdresser!
I have very similar hair and tried tons of different curly hair products - maybe 1 in 5 is working for my hair - but I finally found the stuff that is working!

I think it looks lovely! I agree, all you really need is a very good hairdresser who knows what they're doing.

My sister has curly hair and uses a technique called Curly Girl. I have little knowledge of it but from my understanding you learn what 'type' of curls you have and use products and style it according to that. It was quite transformative for her, maybe look into that?

I have to agree with others its glorious. My daughter has similar hair never brushes it ,just runs her fingers through after a wash and condition. Leaves the conditioner in .

Get some Wella Shockwaves Curls and Waves Mousse. It will get rid of the frizz. Your hair is lovely.

Sorry, i just noticed you have tried it! I think aveda hair salons have curl specialists in some branches

Shea moisture products from boots, don’t wash it, conditioner only

Bloody hell OP. I'd kill for hairs like yours. It's glorious just as it is!

Wow thanks for all the replies I will work through the ideas. A hairdresser for curly hair sounds like a great idea, I hadn't thought of that. I've not been to a hairdresser for years as they always look very daunted by my hair and insist on either cutting it wet or dry but straightened, neither of which end up with a cut that works once I've washed and dried it. I've never gone to the same hairdresser more than once.

Any tips for how to find a curly hairdresser? Do they advertise this or do I have to ring round and ask?

(oh and it's just lighter on the top naturally not grey or bleached but the top layer is in worse condition than the under layer for some reason. Dye doesn't work in my hair, it's like wire it just repels colour)

Always sleep in a bonnet, it really will help with the frizz.

I knew from the second you described your hair as thick, corse and frizzy that it would be curly. And it is curly. Mine is similar when I don't style it.

I'd get it cut for a start. Have it just sitting on your shoulders or just over your shoulders. It's too long to maintain currently.

I think too many people pay too much attention to the wrong parts of curly girl. It doesnt matter what shampoo and conditioner you use if you dont style it properly.

All you need to do is wet it every morning, slather some gel or curl cream through it and then scrunch it up. Use a diffuser to scrunch it and set it, then leave it to dry naturally.

You need to do that every morning. You can sleep on curly hair sorry!

**You CANNOT sleep on curly hair sorry!

Where abouts are you@SeaThingChild maybe someone can recommend you one. If not Google curly hairdressers. I’d also recommend a sleep bonnet to prevent the morning frizz

@Loveplusfear don't worry I knew what you meant my hair looks so different after sleeping on it. Your "all you need to do..." Makes me realise I have been lazy with it, I tend to just get up and go and then complain it's a mess. I will give your routine a try.

Thanks for the nice comments from people who like it, I do like it on other people but it's such a pain to live with, like a high maintenance pet I didn't ask for!

Pleeeaassee don’t cut it off OP it’s glorious!

if you are based in the south of England, google Nuala Morey / check her out on Instagram. Curly hair specialist - people swear by her, my sister went to her Bristol salon a few years ago and now honestly has Disney princess curls.

She will work wonders with your hair! Even if you’re not near Bristol make a day of it to see her if you can get an appt!

I've got curly hair and I've finally found a curly hairdressers near me and booked a cut. I think maybe you need some of the weight taken out? Google curly hairdressers near me and you should find one that's trained to cut curly hair.

I also use gel and mousse in my hair and that helps with the frizz.