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Style and beauty

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Original poster

I hate my hair please help! (With photo)

119 replies

SeaThingChild · 12/10/2022 19:29

Has anyone got any suggestions for what I can do with my thick coarse frizzy hair, it's become really uncontrollable and is really getting me down (literally as it's so heavy!)

I've tried cutting it shorter and I've tried layers but both add even more volume which I want to avoid as it doesn't suit me. Straightening it takes longer to do than it lasts in my hair.

I dream of curls but despite trying the curly girl routine and various sulphate free and curly orientated products it never gets more than wavy and by day two it is just thick frizz.

I've actually googled wigs this week with a vague idea of shaving it off and giving up.

Any hairstyle/hair cut/product ideas would be brilliant.

I hate my hair please help! (With photo)

OP posts:

Quarar · 12/10/2022 20:20

I LOVE your hair!!!!!

Leah2005 · 12/10/2022 20:22

If you're in the Midlands, try Spring hairdressers in Birmingham. springisinthehair.com/
Sorry - can't work out how to make that a link

Leah2005 · 12/10/2022 20:23

Oh it did work haha

Aworldofmyown · 12/10/2022 20:26

Cantu products are excellent, have a look at Boots.

dudsville · 12/10/2022 20:29

You have beautiful hair colour! Is it harder to manage than when you were whatever colour you were before? When mine went grey it shrubbed right out. I could no longer run my fingers through it and it was so dry it felt like i had a twig down my top of one got loose. I set aside a year to really invest in the problem and try everything. Aveda will help you choose and will refund you if you don't get on with it. They have a range called dry remedy you should try. Although it's expensive you may not have to wash it more than once a week.

I liked aveda and buy it occasionally but olaplax shampoo conditioner and hair oil are better for me. And the products are so concentrated they last a long time. I put the hair oil on when it's damp and then again every morning and brush it as little as possible.

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 12/10/2022 20:29

I recommend Cantu curl crème.

Goingforarun · 12/10/2022 20:33

Your hair is gorgeous. So jealous.

Afterfire · 12/10/2022 20:33

My hair is just like this.

Things that work for me -

Getting a good hair cut for curly hair. If you have a local community Facebook page ask there for recommendations or message various hairdressers with pictures asking if they have someone who specialises in curly hair. Ideally you want some weight taken out of it without changing the length.

Ignore curly girl stuff and just try various moisturising hair products. The curly girl sulphate free everything etc just made my hair frizzier than ever. I like good old Garnier shampoo and conditioner but I use a lot of hair oil (Aussie miracle one is best) afterwards mixed with cantu custard. Then I use kms curl up and leave it to dry naturally to create a cast. When it’s dry I scrunch the crunch out using my hands and then scrunch in cantu curl revitaliser - I spray this into my hands and rub together and scrunch through.

I never brush my hair unless I’ve just washed it.

I put it in a pineapple bun to sleep.

I spent my teens - 30s blow drying the fuck out of my hair not realising it’s actually really curly - when I went grey in my 40s it went even curlier!

Namesahchanging · 12/10/2022 20:35

I've been a curly stylist for enough years that it wasn't called that when I started lol

I think you seem to have low porosity hair especially because you are greying. Please feel free to pm me I have a YouTube channel with lots of tips and an Instagram channel which you may also find useful.

1st I would treat your crown to a hot oil treatment, combine some olive oil and coconut oil, some stone oil or avocado oil if you have it then warm it in a bowl of kettle boiled water or the microwave DO NOT make it hot. Smother your scalp and hair root to ends and leave it overnight (a shower cap will keep the heat up all night) .

Wash out the next day with a sulphate free shampoo and use alot of conditioner. Also use a leave in. Then use a moisturiser aimed at black people like pink moisturiser or the aunt Jackie range.

You would benefit from using a hair grease on your scalp and very sparingly on your actual hair as it will seal in the moisture from the other products used .

You can twist it up or corn row it for a protective style, or you can roll it up and let it dry overnight for lovely curls.

Use a bonnet at night to retain moisture and a silk pillow to prevent more frizz.

Ive said alot but probably missed alot as I'm tired but I have so much advise if you DONT want to cut your hair. Also lots of tips for laying wigs to look natural if you DO want to cut xxx

Afterfire · 12/10/2022 20:35

Also - Instagram has some great curly hair accounts. Just search for various variations of “curly” in the tags and loads will come up.

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 12/10/2022 20:38

Butterflyball · 12/10/2022 19:51

Always sleep in a bonnet, it really will help with the frizz.

This. I have just got a pure silk satin sleep bonnet. Pretty it is not but by heck it's made a difference to my frizz!

Namesahchanging · 12/10/2022 20:38

Argon oil NOT stone oil lol lol

You can use any oil to seal in moisture aswell not only hair grease.

Also my tag is Mummyshowhair_care on insta and YT if you want to check it out x

Windtunnel · 12/10/2022 20:39

I have frizzy thick hair (nit as curly though) and the night before I wash it I put ogx coconut oil in it, it really works!

sageandbasil · 12/10/2022 20:45

I love it! It looks magical

Iluvperegrines · 12/10/2022 20:47

For immediate encouragement get yourself on to Instagram and watch some of the millions of videos on how to bring out curls…

Smsquared · 12/10/2022 20:48

Check out Only Curls - their products are amazing, and on their site you can find a list of hairdressers who offer Curly Cuts. These hairdressers are trained in cutting and styling curly hair, will show you how to apply the product, how to dry it and it will make such a difference, I promise! Can recommend their bonnet too - it's an absolute husband repeller, but stops hair getting frizzy/matted/like a birds nest.

BlueSiamese · 12/10/2022 20:49

Dry oil, shea butter products and using any moisture products while hair is wet to lock in the moisture.

Bobbins36 · 12/10/2022 21:02

Mine is a bit like yours, getting frizzier and wilder the older I get too. Curly girl method did work but takes a couple of months to really get into it. I set myself back by going back to straightening for an event and it’s not been the same…

definitely co wash with conditioner (best I’ve found is Aldi green apple, cheap as chips) then a richer conditioner (I’m using Shea Moistue 10in1)

only use a clarifying shampoo every month or so followed by a deep conditioning mask

oh and @Loveplusfear is right, you need styling product! Curly girl approved with NO SILICONS. Currently finding Noughty curl cream is good followed by Eco gel.

I’m desperate for a proper curly cut but no one near me! There’s a FB group called United Curls which has loads of info inc hairdressers 👍

AltheaVestr1t · 12/10/2022 21:03

Me and DD have very fine frizzy hair rather than heavy frizzy hair, but the best thing we've found is putting a bit of hair oil on when wet, start at the ends and comb through. Leave to dry naturally - absolutely no brushing when dry as this makes it puff right up. We're currently using coconut miracle oil, which goes a really long way and lasts forever. It doesn't weigh down the hair like creamy products do, you do have to keep it away from the scalp though or your hair looks greasy. I also think your hair is marvellous!

PantyMcPantFace · 12/10/2022 21:03

Where (roughly) are you based. I know of 2 curly hairdressers in the Herts/Beds area.

Try Faith in Nature conditioners to co-wash.
Ditch the shampoo
Try some hairgel or curly mousse on wet hair after washing just to "seal" the frizzies.

A few youtube videos may give you ideas - Marissa is one that maybe of use.

PantyMcPantFace · 12/10/2022 21:04

Oh and in the shower, try and rinse upside down - your top layer of hair (the "canopy" gets beaten up a lot when standing under the shower - so can end up dryer than the rest.....rinse upside down as it is easier on the top layer.

Original poster

SeaThingChild · 12/10/2022 21:13

So many tips thanks everyone, I'm making a list!

I'm in Yorkshire but happy to travel a bit. It's a revelation, I had given up on hairdressers but now you've got me googling curly cuts I can see there are loads of options nowadays.

OP posts:

user1497787065 · 12/10/2022 21:23

Try to find a hairdresser with hair as close to yours in style, texture etc.
They will be the only ones
Likely to know how best to deal with it.

FleeUpFreeTime · 12/10/2022 21:42

If I dry naturally it’s a mess so have to use a hairdryer.makes it feel softer, use anti frizz spray.

you hair is lovely, have you tried mouse before drying to bring out the curls ?

PeloFondo · 12/10/2022 22:17

I use a curly hairdresser in Colne, Lancashire that's fab. And reasonable, it's about £60

This guy looks good too https://instagram.com/hairkingcallum?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

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