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I hate having big boobs!

156 replies

Appalonia · 03/07/2022 21:40

There's a current thread where a woman was shamed for being ' flatchested' and whilst I understood how mortified she felt by a so called friend commenting unkindly on it, it did make me think about how very much I dislike my 34g boobs.

Why? Because most fashions don't suit me. I either look frumpy or trashy. Those surrendered wife dresses that are so fashionable right now just look matronly on me, jackets and dresses are either tight on the top or too big on the hips, I have to wear either figure hugging outfits or ones that make me look huge all over, often when I go shopping I feel like I'm am alien as clothes are just not cut to fit my shape.

Even Pepperberry, which has gone out of business, wasn't great. And then, there's a snooty thread saying how you shouldn't wear cardigans, and especially not waterfall ones. Well, those are THE ONLY ONES THAT SUIT MY SHAPE!!

I remember once going on a date with a guy and I was wearing a wrap dress and when I said afterwards why I didn't want t
o go home with him, he said, well why were you wearing a dress like that??

Why is it so hard to find decent clothes..??

OP posts:
ghostboobs · 04/07/2022 07:15

Like a pp, I had gone up from a 34E pre-kids and bf to a 36HH post. I used to wake up in agony with my back and neck every morning, with a never-ending headache. Every day I would think that maybe today would be the day I just couldn't turn over and get out of bed.

This was in spite of well-fitted bras (there was only one style I could wear, the Panache Tango II, £36 each at the time. It came in black, white, nude and one different colour each year. Occasionally I could find one in last year's colour marginally cheaper.) I wore whatever the biggest size top I could find was, at the time it was usually a 22 in Asda or something from Evans. The rest of me was a size 12/14. I changed my mattress every year or so, in the hope that memory foam, or orthapedic, or hotel-brand, or softer, or firmer or just something different would help. It was absolutely miserable.

I was extremely fortunate and had an NHS breast reduction twelve years ago. I initially went down to a 36DD, I'm now settled at a 36E. I still have the shoulder grooves and the inclination to slouch to conceal, I have some scarring and loss of sensitivity but I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

It has been absolutely life-changing. People looking at me probably still think I have big boobs, but the pain is gone, the headaches are gone, I'm not constantly taking medication for the discomfort, I can run after the kids (they're young adults now, so it's a different kind of running but still), I can buy reasonably-priced bras in non-specialist shops, I can buy clothes that I like rather than whatever will fit and doesn't make me look like an apple on two matchsticks.

I have told my adult daughter who has inherited my frame that if she ever wants a reduction I will help to pay for it.

I do not understand how reduction is seen as a purely cosmetic procedure. It gave me my life back.

whenwillthemadnessend · 04/07/2022 07:34

I'm a 36 g. I am looking at a reduction soon. Just got to make the call to get the appointment.

I'm a bit nervous but fed up with
Backache
Itchy sore skin underneath boobs
Clothes and bras not fitting well

I feel for you all

I was quoted £7000 in a uk private hospital those that are looking.

Billybagpuss · 04/07/2022 07:34

I do not understand how reduction is seen as a purely cosmetic procedure. It gave me my life back

yep

Billybagpuss · 04/07/2022 07:35

whenwillthemadnessend · 04/07/2022 07:34

I'm a 36 g. I am looking at a reduction soon. Just got to make the call to get the appointment.

I'm a bit nervous but fed up with
Backache
Itchy sore skin underneath boobs
Clothes and bras not fitting well

I feel for you all

I was quoted £7000 in a uk private hospital those that are looking.

That sounds about right I was quoted £4k in 2007

TeachesOfPeaches · 04/07/2022 07:43

I'm a 36GG and recently bought some bras in store from M&S. pack of 2 bras for £20. Couldn't believe how affordable they were.

daretodenim · 04/07/2022 07:57

It strikes me that a better fitting bra would help most posters on this thread. The support should come from the band not the straps. If anyone is in the Sheffield area I can recommend an excellent independent bra shop.

Do duck off. I'm sorry to swear, I don't normally but you are being incredibly patronising and insulting.

I was fitted for bras my entire life. I never had a time when I wasn't, because my larger breasted mother knew the importance of it. So back in the days where the only places offering bra fittings were places like Rigby and Peller, my single parent mother, without child maintenance from my father invested in my having correctly fitting bras. So from about age 12 I had the indignity of having bra fittings. And don't kid yourself, it is an indignity and exponentially so when you're a teenager and nobody has even seen your breasts.

I had a reduction after I ended up with my neck in one of those neck collar things. The pain I'd had over the years was life limiting. I did sports, was actually very fit and strong, but there were days when I could barely move my head. I took muscle relaxants which caused stomach problems. I went to physios and spent thousands on chiropractic treatment and massage and others. Every single one of them said the problem was the size of my breasts specifically in relation to my frame.

"A better fitting bra"? Honestly, do you think none of us ever had bra fittings?!!!

DD has the same build as me and had to put up with some really nasty comments from the boys at school. When she was 16 one particularly nasty boy said that he thought she would look like a 12 year old boy with no clothes on
It strikes me that kids are mean.

However, specifically related to my breasts, I had adult men shouting at me in the street about my breasts. When I was 12. Not only then, but throughout my entire teenage years. I had men in cars yell things to me - breast-related. That was just the adults. Then there were the boys who would grab me so one of their friends could grab my breasts to feel them. There were the comments from boys at school about my breasts. There were obviously other comments too, but I'm only addressing the breasts ones. I was humiliated by the PE teacher in PE classes when I couldn't get my forearms to touch during volleyball, because my breasts were in the way of my upper arms..so couldn't "dig" or whatever it's called. Whenever I ran for a bus or to a friend in the playground - with the properly fitted bras, remember - there would still be movement and I'd hear some kind of "boing boing" comment. Could be from girls that one too.

In my working life I had male colleagues and customers talk to my breasts. I honestly think some of them had no idea what my eyes looked like.

I was accused of "trying to steal" a man 20 years older than me (who I had no interest in) because obviously with boobs like mine I was out to get men!!! I was told I was flirting when I wasn't, by women (men around said I wasn't), I had women imply that I deserved whatever happened to me because of what I wore. What did I wear? Exclusively tops that showed no cleavage. I always tested if I could lean forward without flashing people before I bought something. I was so deeply ashamed and embarrassed. And I rarely wore short skirts when I was younger because if I was accused of being too sexualised when wearing a regular, covering top, then wearing one and exposing my legs (think 5cm above knee max) was me basically trying to steal every man in sight.

And this is all about boobs because I'm truly not that attractive looking. Not ugly just average.

The first time I had a man grope me - years after the boys at school - I was 15. Every single time I was out in a crowded pub I was groped. No exceptions. And apparently large breasts make men assume you're "easy" too, so some tricky situations...

But you see I didn't know anything else, so it was all normal. I'd never been in a crowded pub and not groped. I'd never had any extended period without men in vans yelling about my breasts or had everybody exclusively talk to my face. It wasn't until I was 30 and in extreme pain had my neck in a collar (to provide some relief) that I snapped and went private for a reduction. And that was a big deal because - wait for it, can't make this up - I'd twice, on different occasions had male doctors treating me in hospital fondle my breasts, so hate hospitals. The idea of a doctor touching me causes me to panic. I had to be sedated before arriving at the hospital it was so hard for me to go in.

And the morning after the reduction I can't tell you how happy I was. NO BACK OR NECK PAIN! I discovered that I was so used to being in pain related to my breasts that when I actually felt it it was on top of ongoing pain I'd gotten accustomed to. That was years ago and I still remember! It was utterly amazing!

And later, when I was back out in the world, I noticed nobody looked at my chest. Nobody! Imagine meeting someone and they look at your face first, plus their eyes don't wander down to nipple height?!! And then I realised that not every woman has that experience, nor do they have many of the other ones I'd grown up with.

So while boys (and girls) shouldn't be mean at 16 - really no excuse at that age for the comment your daughter got - unfortunately if she's had 16 years without the world paying attention to her chest then she's had a better start than some of us. I truly am not saying it's ok what was said to her. It's ridiculous that boys still feel the right to comment on a girls' body. My point is you've come on a thread and been patronising and used an example that quite honestly would be a great situation for some of us here. And to be ho eat if you'd read the thread with any level of empathy or even sensitivity you'd have picked that up.

LBF2020 · 04/07/2022 07:59

@ghostboobs My mum had her reduction a few years back (and over 30 years ago my grandma had hers reduced!) I was very fortunate that my mum paid for my reduction as she knew how life changing it would be.

As others have said, I felt very matronly despite being in my twenties with no kids :-(

The cost was around £8500 with hospital, surgeon and anaesthetist fees. This was for a hospital in the south east.

Bickles · 04/07/2022 08:09

I have well fitting bras thanks. I also buy cup sized swimwear so that fits well too. I would still rather be able to buy clothes to fit!

Mennex · 04/07/2022 08:13

Another one sympathising. It's miserable. It enrages me how young girls are able to get free mastectomies after a few weeks of claiming to be boys and yet we have to pay 8k.

Anyway, how do you go about booking a reduction? How do you choose clinics/surgeons? Any recommendations in the SE welcome.

ShirleyPhallus · 04/07/2022 08:14

Mennex · 04/07/2022 08:13

Another one sympathising. It's miserable. It enrages me how young girls are able to get free mastectomies after a few weeks of claiming to be boys and yet we have to pay 8k.

Anyway, how do you go about booking a reduction? How do you choose clinics/surgeons? Any recommendations in the SE welcome.

It enrages me how young girls are able to get free mastectomies after a few weeks of claiming to be boys

Yeah this bit isn’t true at all!

1moreyear · 04/07/2022 08:15

@daretodenim

What horrific experiences! My daughter is 13 and 32J. I have her fitted at bravissimo and yes it is an investment. I have spent approx £400 in the last year as she has gone from G to J in that time. She needs sports bras as in NEEDS for netball and pe.

All her friends are stick shaped and she hates it. Thankfully school blazers cover a lot but people think she's fat as she wears such baggy clothes to cover up.

And thankfully no negative experiences yet...

I've promised to pay for a reduction once she's stopped growing. I'll have to get a loan but if she wants it I'll do it.

Howcoldloveis · 04/07/2022 08:24

RampantIvy · 04/07/2022 07:15

As a flat chested pear I have as much difficulty getting clothes to fit, especially dresses that are designed to fit women with curves. The material drapes emptily and only emphasises my lack of curves. I hate being out of proportion.

DD has the same build as me and had to put up with some really nasty comments from the boys at school. When she was 16 one particularly nasty boy said that he thought she would look like a 12 year old boy with no clothes on Sad

It strikes me that a better fitting bra would help most posters on this thread. The support should come from the band not the straps. If anyone is in the Sheffield area I can recommend an excellent independent bra shop.

It strikes me that you are somewhat unaware of how you come across when you believe that a group of women with big boobs need your advice on a well-fitting bra.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 04/07/2022 08:24

I paid £5500 for my reduction in 2016

I went for a free mini consultation at the local private hospital - they do them every Saturday morning, a different surgeon each week. I'd been given a strong recommendation for a particular surgeon so waited for her session to be advertised and booked in.

It was actually quite a through consultation , I was examined and measured but she put me so at ease that I knew straight away I wanted to go through with the surgery.

Recovery was surprisingly pain free. More uncomfortable than painful.

Absolutely the best thing I've ever done. My friends said the change in me was unbelievable. Not just my body but my whole demeanour and the way I hold myself became so much more positive.

daretodenim · 04/07/2022 08:26

And thankfully no negative experiences yet...
That's good. Men do seem to yell at women and girls less in general these days which is only a positive! Hopefully schools are more on top of sexual harassment too so these things can't even start, never mind escalate like when I was there.

I've promised to pay for a reduction once she's stopped growing. I'll have to get a loan but if she wants it I'll do it.
I'm going to do the same for my DD too if she wants it. She's too young now but I'm just hoping that she doesn't have attention-attracting boobs. Fingers crossed.

CandyflossKid · 04/07/2022 08:36

I have the same issue - every year there's a different 'fashion' and every year, it doesn't suit me. I've recently list weight - everywhere but my boobs!

1moreyear · 04/07/2022 08:40

daretodenim · 04/07/2022 08:26

And thankfully no negative experiences yet...
That's good. Men do seem to yell at women and girls less in general these days which is only a positive! Hopefully schools are more on top of sexual harassment too so these things can't even start, never mind escalate like when I was there.

I've promised to pay for a reduction once she's stopped growing. I'll have to get a loan but if she wants it I'll do it.
I'm going to do the same for my DD too if she wants it. She's too young now but I'm just hoping that she doesn't have attention-attracting boobs. Fingers crossed.

To be fair she's pretty hardcore for a 13 year old and although she would come home and cry she would also tell any boy at school who said anything to fuck off!

Grown men rather more worrying though...

slipperyeel · 04/07/2022 08:58

So glad I’ve seen these posts. I hate my boobs. Hate uncomfortable bras which dig in but can’t not wear one either as that feels awful too.
I hate the horrible leers and comments I’ve had from men since I was 14 years old.
I have shoulder pain and always have very sore psoriasis under my breasts.
I’ve tried to get a reduction on the NHS but at 32 G they’re apparently not big enough.

slash neck and boat neck tees and dresses look best IF you can find them. Mint velvet often do.

getsomehelp · 04/07/2022 09:15

Breast reduction changed my life.
I got it 75% free on the french health system.
It is a handicap, headaches, neck strain, hunched over, embarrassed & hyper complexed. Never mind finding a bra or swimming costume although easier now as Instagram has indoctrinated women into becoming sex doll replicas. Big tits, trout mouth & botoxed.

LizzieSiddal · 04/07/2022 10:23

I posted earlier about dresses with elastic at the back of the waist and said I’d post links- unfortunately I can’t find links for them, one was from M&S and one Whistles. Both had about 2 inches of elastic at the back and a few buttons at the front making the dress fit really well on the top.

GalactatingGoddess · 04/07/2022 10:32

Firstly, maybe a daft question @Appalonia but what is a surrendered wife dress?

Secondly, I have small breasts and have dreamt of having bigger ones since I first developed them 😭 my mum is a 34G though so I hear you about back pain. She does find she often looks too glam/sexy in something without meaning to. BUT they do look amazing in a bikini and in dresses where you do want to be a show stopper and turn heads. Swings and roundabouts.

I do empathise with the pain of how men perceive you though. All throughout childhood I had to deal with ogling men who didn't realise I could see their eyes bouncing out of their heads when my mum walked by. As such, I've perfected an extreme glare/disgusted look.

Oceanus · 04/07/2022 10:57

fallfallfall · 04/07/2022 03:15

the mastopexy was totally pain free thanks to long acting freezing. yes some inconvenience for two weeks (limited range of motion) but that was it.

What do you mean with "the long acting freezing"? 🤔

Oceanus · 04/07/2022 11:02

Frolicinameadow · 04/07/2022 07:01

If anyone has clinic recommendations can you send me a dm please?
my chest has been ridiculous since I first got boobs. After 2 kids and breastfeeding they’re insane. I have surgery on my neck this week because of the constant strain, large dips in my shoulders from straps and don’t even get me started on clothes. Add 28+ years of vile comments and being groped by strangers. I hate my chest.

I can't believe you were allowed to get to the state of needing neck surgery instead of a much safer breast reduction back in the day, before any serious problems arose. Wow, thinks have really changed (for the worse) in the British NHS! Good luck with your surgery, I hope it goes well!

WildOnce · 04/07/2022 11:11

im a 32G and find it impossible to find decent fitting T-shirts. Crew necks make me look so bulky but boat necks hang off my boobs and swamp my waist. Seems to be no v necks about that aren’t frumpy.

slipperyeel · 04/07/2022 11:27

RampantIvy · 04/07/2022 07:15

As a flat chested pear I have as much difficulty getting clothes to fit, especially dresses that are designed to fit women with curves. The material drapes emptily and only emphasises my lack of curves. I hate being out of proportion.

DD has the same build as me and had to put up with some really nasty comments from the boys at school. When she was 16 one particularly nasty boy said that he thought she would look like a 12 year old boy with no clothes on Sad

It strikes me that a better fitting bra would help most posters on this thread. The support should come from the band not the straps. If anyone is in the Sheffield area I can recommend an excellent independent bra shop.

Gosh, I would literally never have thought of having a bra fitting 😏

Bearsan · 04/07/2022 11:46

32GG on a size 8/10 frame here. I like mine but it's such a pain buying clothes especially good bras, dresses hardly ever fit properly,
shirts/ blouses always gape, jackets can't be done up and you can easily end up looking tarty or matronly. Bikini shopping is laughable looking at all the triangles of material that would possibly cover my nipples, they have to be underwired otherwise my neck aches. One piece swimsuits never fit. Big enough on the boobs equals baggy on the arse.