Why are so many men obsessed with getting abs?

[PGWo]

I see it on the cover of any men's magazines when I go out. Why do men starve themselves and spend every waking hour working out just to get some bumps on their stomach?
Do they actually think it would impress women? Any woman who cares about abs probably isn't worth their time anyway.

[quote PGWo]@worriedatthistime
soul
@PurpleDaisies*
www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp1513993
This is about American football, which isn't even nearly as dangerous as rugby.[/quote]
It has nothing to do with your claim that most doctors want to stop youth rugby.

@PurpleDaisies because they can't back it up that is why
They just seem to be trying to be decisive , its a very sexist post really
Also very judgemental and the OP doesn't engage with anyone properly

[quote worriedatthistime]@EssexLioness yes common theme on here
Being dyslexic I'm used to it
Goes to show she never had a valid argument [/quote]
Yes I’ve noticed that too. The person pointing these things out always looks like a petty bully.

@worriedatthistime
I'm sorry to hear about your dyslexia and I wasn't trying to pick on you.

[quote PGWo]@FrangipaniBlue
@pictish
Women with abs aren't considered attractive the way men with abs supposedly are. If it's just about fitness, why is that?

Also, having abs isn't always a fitness indicator. Having visible abs is unsustainable; nobody can healthily maintain sub 10% body fat year-round.[/quote]
I don't know what circles you move in but in my world of people abs on women are very much considered "attractive".......

[quote PGWo]@1forAll74
What's gross about tattoos?
@heartofgrass
I'm not the only one aligning abs with masculinity. Other people here such as
@hamstersarse, @elidelochanthefirst, and @Branleuse have said abs are attractive because they convey masculinity.
You see, the idea that muscular men are attractive is rooted in the idea that men need to be aggressive and violent. That's why rugby players are as popular as they are.

@BattledoreAndShuttlecock @5128gap
I'm assuming the two of you watch Love Island. Notice how all of the men with abs in the show are obnoxious jerks who manipulate women.[/quote]
Why are you conflating muscular with aggression? Being strong doesn't make you aggressive and there are a multitude of reasons to want to have good musculature that are completely unrelated to violence and aggression.

@PGWo

Rugby isn't a healthy sport at all. It's basically organized bullying. Rugby players are riddled with injuries and concussions. That's why most doctors advise against letting children below 16 play.

You are completely unhinged. Where is the bullying? I played rugby for many years and there is absolutely no bullying. I also got more injuries playing football than rugby. And doctors do not advise under 16s not to play rugby. You are just making things up now.

[quote PGWo]@Simonjt
You mocking me for having experienced sexual assault, and my child for being bullied by your people, just proves everything I've been saying about rugby players.

Being able to run for 80 minutes shows a lot of endurance, but it doesn't make it worth the countless injuries and concussions which you've been ignoring.[/quote]
Your people?? You are completely abusive OP.

I think abs on women look nice. Surely it’s all a matter of taste. Also you don’t know what you are talking about. Sure if you are thinking of bodybuilders etc then they have extremely low body fat during competitions but abs can still show through (though not as defined) with an average amount of fat. I am perimenopausal with excess belly fat and about 1/2 stone overweight but you can still see the outline of my abs vertically on each side of my belly. Obviously they will be more defined when my excess fat goes but you can still see them clear enough. My DH has BMI of 23 and is slim but recently developed a tiny belly but his abs are much more defined than mine.

You seem very hung up on the fact your partner likes opera and I think you need to address your feelings with him.

My partner works out every day and it is amazingly hard to build good muscles including abs. I find men with abs iMpressive because I know how much hard work and training goes into it.

It's not something I can achieve!

And if you think women don't work out to attract men you must not be going near a gym or Instagram. Sooooo many women (including me) train legs and flutes HARD to try and achieve that small waist big butt look!

I love that OP thinks masculine = violent

WTAF?!

@FrangipaniBlue

I love that OP thinks masculine = violent

WTAF?!

I know! But when I said her views were offensive she seemed to think the only people she was offending were men with abs!

@PGWo i know lots on here pick out spelling errors or grammar when in the grand scheme of the thread its usually irrelevant thats my point
Im not personally offended though I make a lot of mistakes on here as I try and type as quick as I am thinking

@FrangipaniBlue

What else could it mean? What's is 'masculinity'? What is a 'masculine' personality?

@FrangipaniBlue

I love that OP thinks masculine = violent

WTAF?!

The OP has some very strange views and refuses to accept any other perspective than their own. This thread is one of the most annoying I've come across in a while mainly for that reason.

@NinjaQueen
Many men prefer toned, shapely bottoms, not big ones.
I think most women work out for themselves, not to impress men. Do you feel the need to change how your bottom looks to impress your husband? Wouldn't you prefer he appreciate your personality and humanity?

[quote PGWo]@NinjaQueen
Many men prefer toned, shapely bottoms, not big ones.
I think most women work out for themselves, not to impress men. Do you feel the need to change how your bottom looks to impress your husband? Wouldn't you prefer he appreciate your personality and humanity?[/quote]
No one is everyone's cup of tea, many men like bigger curvy women, many men like the wait look, many men like short women, many men like tall women.

Just like not all women like dark haired men, or muscular men or tall men.

I'm not sure of your point there.

My oh does indeed love my personality but I want him to fancy me too, to look at me and feel desire as I do when I look at him. Intense physical attraction and a shared view on health and fitness is just one aspect of your it relationship.

I feel like you're forcing a choice that doesn't exist. It doesn't need to be personality or looks. For many of us we love our partner's personality and quirks, aswell as how they look.

I have friends who's personalities I adore, but I don't want to sleep with them.

I've been with my DH for 12 years and I still get butterflies in my tummy when I see him walking through a crowd or with his top off as I adore how he looks, ab lumps and all but our relationship isn't just built off looks, he is my best friend and the most interesting person I've ever met.

Having a partner I fancy and I want to kiss is really important to me. If this is different to you that's okay, it's great we are all different! Some women fancy Richard Osman, some women fancy Hugh Jackman... Thankfully there are plenty who look like both!

I think what you may be overlooking OP @PGWo is that we want our partners to desire us sexually. It's not that we feel like we have to, but that it's what we want.
Not to mention, sex is much better when it's with somebody who desires you physically.
For the record, I'm not offended if other men check me out. They can appreciate my shapely bum or my big boobs all they want. I'm sure @PurpleDaisies feels the same - no need to be careful!

@NinjaQueen

Congrats on having a handsome husband and good luck on your workouts! You wouldn't happen to have any advice, would you?
When you say "big bum", do you mean more toned and tight?

I agree that rugby is a very violent and toxic sport, but not everybody who has abs got it from there. In fact, I don't find many rugby men attractive because they are large and bulky. At university, I used to watch the swin competitions because I thought the men were good-looking; they were lean and athletic.
My husband got his beautiful abs from none other than performing ballet in fact.

@Jonny1265
Where isn't the bullying? The sport revolves around being able to severely injure the opponent as much as possible. The possibility of injury is a feature of the game, not an unfortunate byproduct.

"It’s surprising how often adult rugby players also mention the importance of pain and injury, the very things that ring alarm bells for doctors (and mothers). The knowledge that you’ll probably get hurt a bit – cut, scratched, bruised if not actually stretchered off – seems part of the point."

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/mar/04/rugby-dangerous-children-risks-schools-sport-available-all?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

@Jonny1265 I agree. In fact some of the OPs views are so prejudicial and strange that I am beginning to wonder whether this entire thread is one long wind up. Surely no one can be this narrow minded and incapable of reason. I mean who the fuck actually believes that masculinity means violence or that all rugby players are bullies or only violent men can have visible muscles.

www.bbc.com/news/education-35696238
@PurpleDaisies
If rugby isn't about violence, why not get rid of the tackling?

Rugby players themselves say that the violence and injury is part of the point of the game. I don't think children should play a game where the risk of injury is central, and if that isn't toxic I'm unsure what is.

@EssexLioness

What else does masculinity mean?