Shit. Do I look "Witchy"?

[ChoporNot]

Saw an ex-colleague in town today. Not seen her for c7/8 years. Bit of chit chat, small talk. And then "So you have embraced the grey. I thought of doing it in lockdown but was scared of having that witchy vibe... You're kind of rocking it though...." A bit of a pause, a change of subject and soon after we went our separate ways.

DIdn't think much of it then. But now it is digging at me. Do I look witchy? Midlength grey curls. A bit of frizz - then my curls nearly always have a bit of frizz.

Photos attached. Would normally be wash- day today - but playing sport tomorrow morning so eeking it out an extra day - so not an "insta-best-photo-possible.

Should I listen to the "Witchy" or the "Rocking it"? I know I look my age and don't really care. But I am just wondering if I need to rethink the length/style? I am nearly 50 (like days from being 50) so wondering if am over-thinking it cos of that...just having a bit of a crisis.

Honest opinions please?

You look great. I love your hair.
I also just let my hair sit curly at the same age, after years of trying to straighten it.

@Pascal80 wow! How mean are you? Did your parents never teach you that if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. 🙄

OP - you say above “ I like randoms constructive feedback. Not the "pretty" the "great" stuff. The compliments. Maybe I need to listen to them more - but that is another thread. What I hear loudest and will think on most are comments on here about rethinking the front, thinking about lipstick etc.- that is what I will take away from this thread.”

I posted saying you look great, because you posted with some insecurities about your appearance, and I genuinely think you look great. There’s no particular reason for me to just say that because I want to be nice - I have no idea who you are.

I think you have a fair bit of unhelpful confirmation bias going on. You’re insecure about your appearance (aren’t we all). 85% of people posting say you look fantastic. But you prefer to focus on the 5% of comments suggesting things you could “improve” (the remaining 10% being other comments). Why dismiss the huge majority of comments saying you look great as you are? That isn’t rational thinking - to home in on the small minority view, because it fits with your preconception (that you look bad).

On an anonymous forum, people have nothing to gain by paying compliments for the sake of it, and you’ll know that people on S&B aren’t shy at honest comments - it’s not usually just mushy compliments.

(Ok I did say you maybe could have a slight trim to tidy up some of the straggly bits…!)

Well said wigeon

@JollyJoon - so what about those of us who don't equate dyeing their hair to "looking better"?

By letting my hair go grey I am not making a political statement. I am making a personal and therefore subjective decision based on the fact that I think I look better. I also happen to think that many older women with dyed hair don't look better than they would with grey hair.

It's quite a narrow perception to think that dyed hair = looking better IMHO.

Since I've grown out my colour I feel more liberated and I think we have been conditioned to think dyed hair makes us look younger.

Perhaps it does but the freedom of not worrying about regrowth and having chemicals on my scalp plus the time and expense outweigh this concern for me.

I think it is becoming more acceptable anyway.

My hair is In better condition I think

You look fabulous, OP! Maybe that person was a bit jealous.

You look beautiful!

You look great. Your ex-colleague was being rude.

You have great hair, definitely not witchy.
I agree with PP that she was rude.

People pay an absolute fortune to attempt to get hair like yours. It's fabulous and so are you!

Oh wow OP. If you looked half decent I probably couldn't be bothered to comment. I think you look amazing.

[quote JollyJoon]@DietrichandDiMaggio
I don't know why you're so insistent on conflating grey hair with body shape and weight.

People are slim for a huge range of reasons, from that being their natural size, to having a healthy lifestyle, to being looks obsessed, to being sporty.

People dye their greys for one reason and that's to look better. Which is also the only reason people where makeup. That's why I find it weird to pretend you arent bothered by society's gaze.

Probably the reason for this is that the grey movement is just a trend and like any other fashion will be gone within 5 years. It's a kind of vanity veiled as a political statement.[/quote]
Ok, I could have said do you think people who aren't bothered about what they wear, other than it being clean and functional, shouldn't wear make-up? Just your reasoning seemed to be that because someone didn't spend time, effort and money doing something that would make them look better in the eyes of some other people, why do they bother with the other.

I've never met a witch with curls. You look great, truly.

Fuck me backwards. You look INCREDIBLE. Your hair is AWESOME. Am well

My hairdresser calls me witchy but he's been my hairdresser 30 years. He's laughing as he says it, and I do look gothic 😂

You my dear look wonderful. She's a catty bitch.

String curls and the feet looks good. Amazing skin!

*Omg STRONG curls and the GREY looks good

I think you look really cool!!!

Beautiful hair! Definitely rocking it!

If she is a bitch then she was probably being bitchy. If she was anything like me, she’d be admiring your hair and sad she’d not be able to have that herself. I’d say something like that about myself. In fact I once said I wish I didn’t have to wear makeup every day and I got an earful for it, the person thought I was being rude about their choice not to wear makeup. It was a genuine ‘wish I could get away without makeup everyday comment’ so it may well just be a clumsy compliment.

Your hair is stunning and what beautiful bone structure you have! A stunner.

It looks great. I don't see why women (or men) should feel they have to colour their hair to fit in. I'd assume your friend is talking about herself not you and was tactless in how it came across.

I'm a witch and you don't look like me so I'll say no.

Also every time this thread comes up in my feed I've been biting my tongue because I find the title pretty offensive.
Just because you have grey hair doesn't make you look witchy ffs.

Agree with the stunning verdict. You look amazing.