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Original poster

Shit. Do I look "Witchy"?

381 replies

ChoporNot · 04/12/2021 19:37

Saw an ex-colleague in town today. Not seen her for c7/8 years. Bit of chit chat, small talk. And then "So you have embraced the grey. I thought of doing it in lockdown but was scared of having that witchy vibe... You're kind of rocking it though...." A bit of a pause, a change of subject and soon after we went our separate ways.

DIdn't think much of it then. But now it is digging at me. Do I look witchy? Midlength grey curls. A bit of frizz - then my curls nearly always have a bit of frizz.

Photos attached. Would normally be wash- day today - but playing sport tomorrow morning so eeking it out an extra day - so not an "insta-best-photo-possible.

Should I listen to the "Witchy" or the "Rocking it"? I know I look my age and don't really care. But I am just wondering if I need to rethink the length/style? I am nearly 50 (like days from being 50) so wondering if am over-thinking it cos of that...just having a bit of a crisis.

Honest opinions please?

Shit. Do I look "Witchy"?
Shit. Do I look "Witchy"?
OP posts:
thickthighs73 · 05/12/2021 00:39

@LoveMyPiano don’t be such a bitch, you don’t know what else might be going on in this ladies life that she might just need a bit of confidence.

KosherDill · 05/12/2021 00:51

I'd kill to look like you.

augustusglupe · 05/12/2021 04:19

You're more than 'Rocking it'...you look fantastic!!
You have beautiful skin too!

itisthecause · 05/12/2021 06:24

You look fabulous x

Unmerited · 05/12/2021 06:41

@Pascal80

You are a very beautiful woman but the hairstyle is awful.

It is grey and straggly and very ageing and doesn't look right on your delicate features. The grey is too cool in tone for your skin. The front pieces are too long and unbalanced with the rest of it.

No offence - you are great looking.

I couldn’t disagree more. I feel like you’re looking at a different picture. Or have such preconceived, socialised notions about women being grey that you can’t see the reality of how amazing she looks.

Funnily enough, men don’t seem to have the same issue with being judged for grey hair.

OP you’re rocking it, entirely. I agree with the PP that said Paulina Porizcova. Also - witchy - I’d say that’s a good thing anyway. Wise women with years of knowledge - no wonder they’re disparaged!

Itsnotdeep · 05/12/2021 07:04

I don't think you look witchy - agree it's a horrible misogynistic term. I have long dark hair (I'm 51) with no grey in it yet so am properly witchy.

I think you look fab, although I would change the length of the front bit so it's all the same length - I'm hesitant about bobs for 50 year olds, but maybe it would suit you.

I think you do look a little washed out - maybe brighter lipstick and some blusher would help? I also think if you did want to go dark, it would still suit you and your colouring.

JollyJoon · 05/12/2021 07:22

I dont understand why PPs have been slapped down for giving an opinion. Is that not the whole point of this section?

OP you are a beautiful woman and would look pretty whatever your hair style. There is nothing witchy about you

I agree that the uneven lengths are distracting and OP would look better with more height at the crown. I do think the grey is ageing and I dont understand the "fuck it, this is my natural colour and I'm not gunna bow to social pressure so deal with it!!!" attitude towards embracing the grey when paired with makeup. Its like you dont care but then you do?

malificent7 · 05/12/2021 07:30

I think she meant you didnt look witchy but instead look fab op.

Cheerbear24 · 05/12/2021 07:46

@Pleasebeafleabite

I like the curls and cut

But the grey is ageing

You are in the MN twilight zone in which posters fall over themselves to encourage you to embrace the grey but in the real world everyone knows it adds years to your age in your forties

I do agree with @Pleasebeafleabite on this re the grey. However ‘witchy’ is an awful term to use and I’d say completely incorrect to describe you. I on the other hand did look very witchy in that I looked morticia like with long almost black hair that wasn’t flattering as I reached mid 40’s therefore I’ve lightened the colour. I suggest putting her comment out of your head, you definitely don’t look ‘gnarled, unkempt or straggly’!
ArabellaScott · 05/12/2021 07:54

You are in the MN twilight zone in which posters fall over themselves to encourage you to embrace the grey but in the real world everyone knows it adds years to your age in your forties

But so what? What's wrong with looking the age you are?!

To be clear, I don't care if someone dyes or doesn't dye their hair. I do find it odd to assume that everyone constantly wants to look as young as humanly possible, though.

SouthernFashionista · 05/12/2021 08:02

This reply has been deleted

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FreeBritnee · 05/12/2021 08:11

@SouthernFashionista

Have you had enough compliments now OP? See you again in a month? Biscuit
That’s two nasty posts in one thread. I think your bingo sheet must nearly be done now?
CheddarGorgeous · 05/12/2021 08:26

So you are properly beautiful and also sound lovely. Your hair colour looks great IMO but, and just being honest, sorry! I don't think the style complements your face.

This is not an "older women should have short hair" post, I just think you would suit shorter hair. Disclaimer: I know zero about curly hair management!!

holymolyguacamoles · 05/12/2021 08:46

@SouthernFashionista

Have you had enough compliments now OP? See you again in a month? Biscuit
Why does it bother you so much? Have you ever heard the saying if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.

I was always told that mean spirited people are jealous.

WheelieBinPrincess · 05/12/2021 08:53

Ah it’s you!

Yeah, it looks fine OP, it’s not for me but you’re obviously happy with it and now you have lots of posters fangirling and tripping over themselves to tell you you’re rocking it.

Which is exactly what you intended!

Original poster
ChoporNot · 05/12/2021 08:55

@SouthernFashionista

Have you had enough compliments now OP? See you again in a month? Biscuit
Maybe I was seeking compliments? Why would that bother you?

Or maybe I was seeking reassurance? Maybe I am not in a great place and a person in town made a comment that made me anxious?

I posted in Style and Beauty - where threads a) get about 16 reponses each and b) posters offer constructive criticism. Generally kindly. This thread ended up trending and exploding a bit.

And yes, I have some self-esteem issues. Which means random comments, particularly about my appearance, can really, really jar. I was bullied badly about my appearance during my school days. I struggle with decisions over my hair/what to wear and have for 49 years. Most of the time (not just when I am in a low-ish place, like now) I do not trust my own judgement over how I look. So I come on a women's forum to ask advice. And over the years I have had some great feedback. And yes, some reassurance.

I am not sure why you have an issue with it.

Have a lovely day.

OP posts:
Pleasebeafleabite · 05/12/2021 09:10

@ArabellaScott

You are in the MN twilight zone in which posters fall over themselves to encourage you to embrace the grey but in the real world everyone knows it adds years to your age in your forties

But so what? What's wrong with looking the age you are?!

To be clear, I don't care if someone dyes or doesn't dye their hair. I do find it odd to assume that everyone constantly wants to look as young as humanly possible, though.

In this case though the grey makes OP look older than her age.
Original poster
ChoporNot · 05/12/2021 09:15

Thank you to everyone for the comments. And for the reassurance. The compliments (which are lovely, a bit overwhelming and not why I posted).

I posted in Style and Beauty for constuctive criticism. It is the topic I hover around it most. And I love the support and advice offered there. If a dress doesn't suit someone, they are told and alternatives suggested.. If the boots are a bit old fashioned others are suggested, if the eyebrow job is fine, they are reassured. If someone doesn't know what to do about their hair, they are advised. Over the years S&B got me to feel OK about skinny jeans, about boots with dresses, trainers with dresses. It is like living with my girlfriends again a "Yay looks great". "Hmmm. maybe tuck it in?" Or "Nah, you don't look great it that". Compliments? Or reassurance?

I really value (and hear louder) the constructive criticim as much as the positive.

I shall think about the length at the front. It is a bit of a marmite hairstyle (the graduated longer front/shorter back). But with the curls the front does go frizzier and straighter first - so maybe it can look a bit straggly. Maybe I need to rethink the style. Shorter pieces at the front so if they frizz, it looks intended? Or maybe adjust my styling products so the ringlets at the front hold a bit better.

I should (and will try) to get some deeper lipsticks. Well, actually wear them as well as get some. Maybe I need a bit more blusher. I can look washed out being grey and pale. Maybe the feeling a bit washed out and grey (and the looming birthday) is what made the comment from my colleague hurt.

And do you know what, in a few months, if I change my hairstyle, I may be back. To show the "after". I love seeing how people progress, change, act on feedback, the befores/afters. Though it might offend some if I do, so I probably won't.

OP posts:
Unmerited · 05/12/2021 09:16

In this case though the grey makes OP look older than her age.

Age! The most terrible thing for a woman to reveal. Honestly, what a load of bollocks.

JMAngel1 · 05/12/2021 09:18

@ChoporNot
Well said.
Dignified, gracious and beautiful.

Ugzbugz · 05/12/2021 09:24

You look great but I read it as she says you are rocking the greys not the witch look?

JollyJoon · 05/12/2021 09:29

OP I've just read your "to chop or not" thread - what an amazing thread! You are stunningly pretty and it was interesting seeing you with a range of cuts and shades. Honestly I think you are at your hottest with short hair pulled back, sort of like quiff style.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 05/12/2021 09:30

I do think the grey is ageing and I dont understand the "fuck it, this is my natural colour and I'm not gunna bow to social pressure so deal with it!!!" attitude towards embracing the grey when paired with makeup. Its like you dont care but then you do?

Why should not wanting to cover up your natural hair, spending £££s and hours in the process, mean you don't care about how you look at all?
Do you question why overweight people wear nice clothes, or do their hair and make-up, because according to your logic, if they can't be bothered to 'deal with' their bodies, why do they care about the other things?

FindingMeno · 05/12/2021 09:32

If you do post similarly in the future ( please do) ignore the posters who like to drag other women down Flowers

rbmilliner · 05/12/2021 09:37

Definately not - you look amazing.

Think friend might be jealous!