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Shit. Do I look "Witchy"?
381

ChoporNot · 04/12/2021 19:37

Saw an ex-colleague in town today. Not seen her for c7/8 years. Bit of chit chat, small talk. And then "So you have embraced the grey. I thought of doing it in lockdown but was scared of having that witchy vibe... You're kind of rocking it though...." A bit of a pause, a change of subject and soon after we went our separate ways.

DIdn't think much of it then. But now it is digging at me. Do I look witchy? Midlength grey curls. A bit of frizz - then my curls nearly always have a bit of frizz.

Photos attached. Would normally be wash- day today - but playing sport tomorrow morning so eeking it out an extra day - so not an "insta-best-photo-possible.

Should I listen to the "Witchy" or the "Rocking it"? I know I look my age and don't really care. But I am just wondering if I need to rethink the length/style? I am nearly 50 (like days from being 50) so wondering if am over-thinking it cos of that...just having a bit of a crisis.

Honest opinions please?

Shit.  Do I look "Witchy"? Shit.  Do I look "Witchy"?
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ElectraBlue · 06/12/2021 06:40

You are so beautiful!

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furbabymama87 · 06/12/2021 06:53

You are beautiful, have lovely eyes and a very youthful face. You could take years off your age if you wanted to, by dyeing it.

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Fritilleries · 06/12/2021 06:55

You are very beautiful. Not witchy. You do have a touch of magical about you, elvish? Blush

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DerTrotzkopf · 06/12/2021 08:03

350 posts confirming you are beautiful OP. Surely you've taken on board their compliments by now and can feel better about yourself..

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VitaminA · 06/12/2021 08:06

I think you look attractive, but you would look even more attractive with dyed hair.

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EnjoyingTheSilence · 06/12/2021 08:11

Your colleague may just have awkwardly been trying to compliment you. Some people (me included) seem completely unable to say the right thing. She said you were rocking the grey, so go with that.

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Negligee · 06/12/2021 08:16

@RedLemon

You look awesome.

In Irish the word witch is the same as the one for crone/wise woman (The PATRIARCHY no doubt trying to devalue older women the big bastards). Nothing wrong with grey. And you are rocking the silver curls lady. Own it. Fuck the begrudgers!

Exactly. I’m embracing my inner cailleach /crone.

You look great, OP. And it’s great to see grey curls looking awesome — you see far more of straight, shiny grey hair being lauded. Alas, I don’t have your defined curls and if I stopped dyeing my hair I would look like a human Brillo pad.

Can I ask about your length, though? Is it a long bob, and shorter at the back? I’m thinking of trying that.
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WeirdArchitecture · 06/12/2021 12:33

Oh come on i think we all know op doesnt think she looks remotely like a witch! Grin

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dorothygaleandtoto · 06/12/2021 12:39

I love your hair!

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WillowySnicket · 06/12/2021 12:49

You look absolutely beautiful, and I am curlygirl crushing the bin. Rocking it.

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AnFiadhRua · 06/12/2021 12:57

@WeirdArchitecture

Oh come on i think we all know op doesnt think she looks remotely like a witch! Grin

No, but you can wonder 'am i doing myself any favours here, 'do others see what I hope they see?''.

I get the op, similar age, my hair is very thick, a bit curly and a bit frizzy and I recently had it cut in to a shape (more than a style). I hope I'm rocking the look but maybe it's self protection saving me from the insight that I look like a loo brush. It's hard to know for absolute certain.
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SouthernFashionista · 06/12/2021 15:26

@WeirdArchitecture

Oh come on i think we all know op doesnt think she looks remotely like a witch! Grin

Quite. But we will be here again in a month or two. Hmm
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sqirrelfriends · 06/12/2021 16:31

Nothing wrong with looking "witchy" but for what it's worth your hair looks great.

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ChoporNot · 06/12/2021 20:08

Do you know, I probably shouldn't feed the trolls....but I am honestly intrigued.

Will I be back in a month? Why do you care if I am? Even if I was here for compliments...why does it matter to you so much? To taunt? Why so many times? To bring me down to...where? What are you hoping to achieve?

And surely all I have done is the same as someone going to the gardening topic and asking should I plant red or white pansies or petunias? Or, would it only be OK to ask if they had a small courtyard garden and not a country cottage? Property - white or grey skirting boards? But only OK to ask if they live in a flat - they can't ask if they live in a detached house?

Nobody gets slated there for being insecure, asking for reassurance or advice. But heaven forbid a woman posts a photo of herself. And because she is (according to the people here) goodlooking she cannot possibly have insecurities? Or the inability to see clearly, to only see the flaws? Because I have cheekbones and curly hair I cannot be insecure - I am "goodlooking" -even if I can't see it - so must be what? Just vain? Begging for compliments? Asking for a kicking? You post a photo on MN and you must be just full of yourself and need bringing down a peg or two? You cannot possibly actually want some feedback? If I had scribbled out my face would I have had your vitriol? Almost guaranteed not. But how can you assess if someone's hair suits them/looks shite if you cannot see their face. Never got it. And I have this username I have posted photos before so..meh. pop a photo on. Only 16 people will see anyway.

Have I really done so wrong in your eyes with this thread? Yes I have posted (with photos sometimes) before on S&B. but not monthly and got some great feedback and advice. About an outfit for a night out. Should I be brave and cut my hair to a pixie? Gorgeous summer dress - actually it look shite on me because I am short and have wide shoulders. Whatever. I come to ask people interested and knowledageble about stuff they know more about than me. The advice on make up, colours, maybe a tweak to the cut. Style and Beauty boards. Where I lurk and try and learn. And ask questions.

I looked in the mirror this morning and did not see what most of you have been saying. I saw the flaws. So I need to think about that. @Wigeon - you are right. I need to consider my negative confirmation bias as the constructive stuff is all I can hear. That old parent critical voice, the scars from bullying, the horrifically worded first ever appraisal "Your hair is really unprofessional and awful, you need to do something about it ".

And I wish I could be a "fashionista" and get it. Understand what suits me. Or "see" myself. Or have the confidence to not get worried at an off-hand comment. Or wear whatever I like without giving a fuck. Of have the self-esteem some people have. Or not need to ask other people because of having zero faith in myself or trust in my style and beauty choices. Or not want to desparately just blandly fit in style wise so no-one is critical.

And, have you ever heard that it doesn't matter what is on the outside, it is the inside that matters? Inside I have insecurities. Maybe remember that next time you want to keep kicking and pull faces at posters?

And will I be back in a month? Maybe not a month. Feeling a little too raw. But I will heal. Then I will have a night out. Maybe turning 50 will suddenly transform my insecurities. Or maybe I will still be clueless about what to wear...and want to ask for advice. If I am allowed?

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TopCatsTopHat · 06/12/2021 20:17

Well said op. Personally I'm stuck in the wanting to blandly for in as no confidence in my style preferences, so was following with interest.
Hope the legacy of your past can fade to slow you too see what most people here see. What's on the inside does count, so I hope you're inner voice gets more accurate (allows the positive) soon. I think that would make a fab difference to you since you do have enviable features.

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TopCatsTopHat · 06/12/2021 20:17

Fit in, not for. 🙄

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TopCatsTopHat · 06/12/2021 20:18

Gargh autocorrect!

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Handholdtoday · 06/12/2021 21:24

@ChoporNot

Do you know, I probably shouldn't feed the trolls....but I am honestly intrigued.

Will I be back in a month? Why do you care if I am? Even if I was here for compliments...why does it matter to you so much? To taunt? Why so many times? To bring me down to...where? What are you hoping to achieve?

And surely all I have done is the same as someone going to the gardening topic and asking should I plant red or white pansies or petunias? Or, would it only be OK to ask if they had a small courtyard garden and not a country cottage? Property - white or grey skirting boards? But only OK to ask if they live in a flat - they can't ask if they live in a detached house?

Nobody gets slated there for being insecure, asking for reassurance or advice. But heaven forbid a woman posts a photo of herself. And because she is (according to the people here) goodlooking she cannot possibly have insecurities? Or the inability to see clearly, to only see the flaws? Because I have cheekbones and curly hair I cannot be insecure - I am "goodlooking" -even if I can't see it - so must be what? Just vain? Begging for compliments? Asking for a kicking? You post a photo on MN and you must be just full of yourself and need bringing down a peg or two? You cannot possibly actually want some feedback? If I had scribbled out my face would I have had your vitriol? Almost guaranteed not. But how can you assess if someone's hair suits them/looks shite if you cannot see their face. Never got it. And I have this username I have posted photos before so..meh. pop a photo on. Only 16 people will see anyway.

Have I really done so wrong in your eyes with this thread? Yes I have posted (with photos sometimes) before on S&B. but not monthly and got some great feedback and advice. About an outfit for a night out. Should I be brave and cut my hair to a pixie? Gorgeous summer dress - actually it look shite on me because I am short and have wide shoulders. Whatever. I come to ask people interested and knowledageble about stuff they know more about than me. The advice on make up, colours, maybe a tweak to the cut. Style and Beauty boards. Where I lurk and try and learn. And ask questions.

I looked in the mirror this morning and did not see what most of you have been saying. I saw the flaws. So I need to think about that. *@Wigeon* - you are right. I need to consider my negative confirmation bias as the constructive stuff is all I can hear. That old parent critical voice, the scars from bullying, the horrifically worded first ever appraisal "Your hair is really unprofessional and awful, you need to do something about it ".

And I wish I could be a "fashionista" and get it. Understand what suits me. Or "see" myself. Or have the confidence to not get worried at an off-hand comment. Or wear whatever I like without giving a fuck. Of have the self-esteem some people have. Or not need to ask other people because of having zero faith in myself or trust in my style and beauty choices. Or not want to desparately just blandly fit in style wise so no-one is critical.

And, have you ever heard that it doesn't matter what is on the outside, it is the inside that matters? Inside I have insecurities. Maybe remember that next time you want to keep kicking and pull faces at posters?

And will I be back in a month? Maybe not a month. Feeling a little too raw. But I will heal. Then I will have a night out. Maybe turning 50 will suddenly transform my insecurities. Or maybe I will still be clueless about what to wear...and want to ask for advice. If I am allowed?

I think I have a girl crush on you OP!! 👏
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mrshoho · 06/12/2021 21:50

Good on you OP. 👏

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sqirrelfriends · 06/12/2021 21:53

I was trying to think of which witch you reminded me of...

Shit.  Do I look "Witchy"?
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immersivereader · 07/12/2021 01:51

You look amazing op, enjoy yourself!

🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸

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FormerlySpeckledyHen · 07/12/2021 06:44

Not read tft.

You are a beautiful lady with lovely hair. Your ex colleague was jealous.

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Oblomov21 · 07/12/2021 07:01

You don't look 50 at all. Do you have chronic self esteem issues? You mention a counsellor, but maybe you need more?

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AnFiadhRua · 07/12/2021 07:14

Have a great 50th OP and don't worry, most sane people know that all you wanted to know was "is this look working for me?" or not.

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Milomonster · 07/12/2021 12:55

Beautiful - lovely bone structure and skin.

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