Do you know, I probably shouldn't feed the trolls....but I am honestly intrigued.
Will I be back in a month? Why do you care if I am? Even if I was here for compliments...why does it matter to you so much? To taunt? Why so many times? To bring me down to...where? What are you hoping to achieve?
And surely all I have done is the same as someone going to the gardening topic and asking should I plant red or white pansies or petunias? Or, would it only be OK to ask if they had a small courtyard garden and not a country cottage? Property - white or grey skirting boards? But only OK to ask if they live in a flat - they can't ask if they live in a detached house?
Nobody gets slated there for being insecure, asking for reassurance or advice. But heaven forbid a woman posts a photo of herself. And because she is (according to the people here) goodlooking she cannot possibly have insecurities? Or the inability to see clearly, to only see the flaws? Because I have cheekbones and curly hair I cannot be insecure - I am "goodlooking" -even if I can't see it - so must be what? Just vain? Begging for compliments? Asking for a kicking? You post a photo on MN and you must be just full of yourself and need bringing down a peg or two? You cannot possibly actually want some feedback? If I had scribbled out my face would I have had your vitriol? Almost guaranteed not. But how can you assess if someone's hair suits them/looks shite if you cannot see their face. Never got it. And I have this username I have posted photos before so..meh. pop a photo on. Only 16 people will see anyway.
Have I really done so wrong in your eyes with this thread? Yes I have posted (with photos sometimes) before on S&B. but not monthly and got some great feedback and advice. About an outfit for a night out. Should I be brave and cut my hair to a pixie? Gorgeous summer dress - actually it look shite on me because I am short and have wide shoulders. Whatever. I come to ask people interested and knowledageble about stuff they know more about than me. The advice on make up, colours, maybe a tweak to the cut. Style and Beauty boards. Where I lurk and try and learn. And ask questions.
I looked in the mirror this morning and did not see what most of you have been saying. I saw the flaws. So I need to think about that. @Wigeon - you are right. I need to consider my negative confirmation bias as the constructive stuff is all I can hear. That old parent critical voice, the scars from bullying, the horrifically worded first ever appraisal "Your hair is really unprofessional and awful, you need to do something about it ".
And I wish I could be a "fashionista" and get it. Understand what suits me. Or "see" myself. Or have the confidence to not get worried at an off-hand comment. Or wear whatever I like without giving a fuck. Of have the self-esteem some people have. Or not need to ask other people because of having zero faith in myself or trust in my style and beauty choices. Or not want to desparately just blandly fit in style wise so no-one is critical.
And, have you ever heard that it doesn't matter what is on the outside, it is the inside that matters? Inside I have insecurities. Maybe remember that next time you want to keep kicking and pull faces at posters?
And will I be back in a month? Maybe not a month. Feeling a little too raw. But I will heal. Then I will have a night out. Maybe turning 50 will suddenly transform my insecurities. Or maybe I will still be clueless about what to wear...and want to ask for advice. If I am allowed?