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Help please! Turned into a frump!

330 replies

cheeseisthebest · 30/10/2021 16:49

Hi. I'm 43, bit overweight and short and I hate my clothes!
Never know what looks nice on me? Please help! I wear a lot of black, navy, grey or I have very patterned dresses from White Stuff.
I just don't know where to look or what would flatter me?

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Tee20x · 30/10/2021 17:37

That dress is a bit plain & the pumps are a no from me.

Dress could do with a belt to clinch in at the waist & I think the length is a bit awkward. I'd go either above the knee or a bit longer than what that dress is.

Also perhaps some accessories to jazz it up & I would perhaps pair with black tights and ankle boots or something.

What do you do day to day and what is your budget like? What kind of stuff do you like and what makes you feel comfortable. Do you see people/celebs and think they look nice? What are they wearing etc.

That's how id start!

Tee20x · 30/10/2021 17:39

Also just seen your update...agree with PP about getting clothes second hand to help budgeting wise. Other than that there are a lot of online retailers that do jumpers and jeans etc for good prices in their "basic" range.

MildRose · 30/10/2021 18:11

Apart from height, I look and feel a lot like you ATM op. To add insult to injury, my normally great hairdresser cut way too much off my hair and I have a really unflattering, frumpy hair cut at the moment too 😫

Reading these suggestions with interest.

cheeseisthebest · 30/10/2021 18:36

I have these boots and I love them but they have totally fallen apart. Trying to find something similar but can't find any I like as much.

Help please! Turned into a frump!
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cheeseisthebest · 30/10/2021 18:36

@Tee20x

Also just seen your update...agree with PP about getting clothes second hand to help budgeting wise. Other than that there are a lot of online retailers that do jumpers and jeans etc for good prices in their "basic" range.
Where should i look? Which shops?
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cheeseisthebest · 30/10/2021 18:38

Found a few cardigans

Help please! Turned into a frump!
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cheeseisthebest · 30/10/2021 18:38

This one

Help please! Turned into a frump!
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cheeseisthebest · 30/10/2021 18:39

Or this one?

Help please! Turned into a frump!
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ShebaQueen · 30/10/2021 18:41

I'm not great at putting outfits together and I'll never be on trend, so I've developed a sort of uniform, black jeans, t-shirt, blazer, or slim leg trousers with a shirt, or jumper dress, tights and ankle boots. I don't have a lot of clothes and so I stick to a few colours so that I can mix and match. Could something similar work for you?

Also if you are near a John Lewis you could try their personal styling service, I've not tried it, but am tempted as a friend did it and got some really good advice on dressing for her shape. No pressure to buy she said.

cheeseisthebest · 30/10/2021 18:45

@wombwithawiew

Just order some stuff to try different looks.

Don't get a leather jacket they look terrible on most people.

I quickly looked on Hush on JL and what about any of these looks - you can obviously mix and match, sometimes even a new pair of boots can help.

Those are all lovely thank you but I too self conscious to wear leopard print or a blouse much as I like them. That's daft isn't it!
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Littlemiss74 · 30/10/2021 18:56

Following for ideas @cheeseisthebest as I’m in the same boat.

peoplearepeople · 30/10/2021 19:12

I hate that we describe women as being frumpy so often nowadays. I do understand what you mean though about not feeling your best. Such small things can make a big difference I have found.
A few things I would try if I was you;

Try some different bras? Have a fitting somewhere like bravissimo? (not m&s)

Try and stick to slightly lower v neck tops or shirts. Round necks or higher necks can often look really matronly if not super slim. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, add the illusion of a v with a long necklace or scarf perhaps.

Look at the lines of your clothes and where the ends hit. For example short sleeves like in the dress you are wearing can often make you look bigger because it draws a line across a broader part of you. Same for looking at where your tops end.

For quick pick me ups I'd try a few accessories you really like. Nice earrings or a belt for example. These are often the things that really help pull an outfit together and I've found make me feel a bit more "lifted" if you know what I mean.

Don't buy anything you don't feel amazing in and want to wear straight away. Try looking around online and put together a pinterest board of stuff you like. Then see if you can put together a few nice outfits potentially with those items together.

Colour is really important. I agree that finding which colours work for you can make a huge difference. Don't be afraid to stand out and wear bright colours if that's what suits your colouring.

@ShebaQueen I did exactly the same adopting my own kind of uniform. It's evolved and changed over the years and seasons obviously, but it means I know exactly what works for me and can grab stuff from my wardrobe I know will go together and look good. Grin

Taoneusa · 30/10/2021 19:20

Could you devote a couple of hours a week to Pilates ? Improving your posture makes a world of difference. And boosts your confidence.

BadlydoneHelen · 30/10/2021 19:33

How about these bargain boots? Not leather but look good

BadlydoneHelen · 30/10/2021 19:36

Or these

cheeseisthebest · 30/10/2021 20:04

Those are nice thank you. I like the fur lined ones.
Have I got bad posture??! Sad

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Taoneusa · 30/10/2021 20:48

No, you’re posture is normal! Grin I totally didn’t mean to imply otherwise!

It’s just that Pilates pulls everything up and in and we look much better in our clothes, because of that! I feel really different when I’m standing up more straight and clothes hang differently. I was thinking it’s easier to do some Pilates than change your wardrobe!!

cheeseisthebest · 30/10/2021 20:52

Oh thank you!!! Grin

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RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 30/10/2021 21:00

I hate the word frumpy.

That aside, the ballet shoes really are awful. And the cardigans you've posted are all a bit drab.

I think you'd look nice in a shorter dress, maybe an over the knee jumper dress, or maybe a mini skirt, with tights and Chelsea boots. Must admit I'm not a fan of the boots you posted, sorry.

Something like this as an alternative to a leather jacket, maybe? Would work well with slim flare jeans and heeled boots.

Taoneusa · 30/10/2021 21:03

Ha ha! without breaking the bank, some Pilates, a new bright scarf and a spray of perfume and I feel totally va va voomed! Grin

cheeseisthebest · 30/10/2021 21:03

Now see that's the problem. I thought the long grey cardy particularly was nice. What's a non drab long cardigan?
Sorry Remus not a fan of that jacket looks a bit young!

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RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 30/10/2021 21:07

Young?! I'm much older than you, and I'd wear it!

cheeseisthebest · 30/10/2021 21:08

You are probably way more stylish than me!

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cheeseisthebest · 30/10/2021 21:08

That's not hard mind!

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cheeseisthebest · 30/10/2021 21:09

Any more boot ideas? Just some plain jumpers of a flattering shape might be good? Everything I find is either shapeless or too fitted?

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