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Help please! Turned into a frump!

330 replies

cheeseisthebest · 30/10/2021 16:49

Hi. I'm 43, bit overweight and short and I hate my clothes!
Never know what looks nice on me? Please help! I wear a lot of black, navy, grey or I have very patterned dresses from White Stuff.
I just don't know where to look or what would flatter me?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
51
cruffin · 31/10/2021 06:56

Have a look at https://instagram.com/marksandspencernicola?utmmmedium=copylink

CeeceeBloomingdale · 31/10/2021 07:04

@Invasionofthegutsnatchers

I wouldn't wear maxi dresses if you're short.

Mini dresses with thick tights look best on me snd I'm 5ft1

I'm short and love maxi dresses on me, also short dresses. Never midi though, that doesn't work for me at all.
cruffin · 31/10/2021 07:11

@DFOD

tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/p/Khaki-Cable-Knit-Longline-Cardigan-/138822314-Khaki?searchTerm=green%20cardigan:newArrivals&searchProduct=

Olive is a nice way to update and add colour to an existing neutral wardrobe easily. Chunky jumpers are not great on an apple shape - however this longer line cable knit cardi is v neat, flattering and nice quality IRL. Would look great tan boots or bag / belt.

This is such a gorgeous colour. OP I think you should ban yourself from buying any beige, it does nothing for you.
Tanfastic · 31/10/2021 07:30

Op I'm older than you but a similar shape. I've got this raincoat from joules and I've had so many compliments wearing it. I style I with leggings and chunky soled flat boots or converse. Looks great and great for dog walking. I never feel grumpy in it. It's not an "in your face" leopard print either.

I have to say ive had the very odd thing from Roman and loved it. The clothes are definitely made for my shape. Just don't do head to toe as you'll look like you've walked out of Bon Marche Confused

Tanfastic · 31/10/2021 07:30

Sorry forgot the photo

Help please! Turned into a frump!
Tanfastic · 31/10/2021 07:32

And I meant to say I never feel frumpy in it not grumpy 😂

Isabelle70 · 31/10/2021 07:42

I had a JL online styling session and here are couple of the ideas that I have copied.
I swapped the white Breton for a navy stripe and rather than buy a new coat I wear with a khaki parka, have the jeans and trainers already.
This red/black top I really liked so I got it and have worn with black jeans and some black suede trainers. I put on with a black Primark padded coat but that was in the cloakroom all evening so just worn to keep me warm on the wall to the taxi!

Help please! Turned into a frump!
Help please! Turned into a frump!
DFOD · 31/10/2021 07:42
Were you posting this link to show the OP how not to dress? I think that the clothes the lady in this link has chosen do all the wrong things for her.
borntobequiet · 31/10/2021 07:46

@Taoneusa

Could you devote a couple of hours a week to Pilates ? Improving your posture makes a world of difference. And boosts your confidence.
Good idea. If your posture is good and you move well you can make the most of relatively plain outfits. Also get a good haircut and a simple manicure.
PeachMelba78 · 31/10/2021 07:52

@Isabelle70 where is the scarf from? It’s lovely!

Isabelle70 · 31/10/2021 07:59

@PeachMelba78 from John Lewis, it's this one

I found this at John Lewis & Partners. What do you think?  https://www.johnlewis.com/tutti-co-wish-scarf-light-grey-dark-grey/p5691611?tmad=c&tmcampid=7&sshare=jlappioss_Y29tLmFwcGxlLlVJS2l0LmFjdGl2aXR5LkNvcHlUb1Bhc3RlYm9hcmQ=

cruffin · 31/10/2021 08:03

@DFOD no I was posting it as an example of colour and print, I think the OP needs to see examples of full outfits instead of random items that she won't have the confidence to put together. I think that lady looks great and makes an effort...just because she's not a size eight doesn't mean she can't dress fashionably!

nzeire · 31/10/2021 08:05

I’d go with suggestion above. Start with ONE outfit. Top to toe. The best fit jeans. A great pair of sneakers. A perfect plain tshirt. A plain cardigan, someone put a pic up of an oversized grey one that looked ok.

Don’t be messing with new looks, prints, lots of ok stuff. Get one outfit down, perfect and take it from there.

BigPyjamas · 31/10/2021 08:05

Hello OP, I think sometimes fashion and trends move on without my noticing, and then I feel a little out of touch.

In your position I would probably find:

  • a new pair of jeans in a more modern cut but still very wearable cut. M&S do a great range and they're only around £20 a pair.
  • you can probably add your existing tops to those jeans and feel instantly better. I like a French tuck.
  • ballet flat, as much as I love them, will instantly date an outfit these days, and aren't hugely flattering. Swap these for trainers or boots.
  • you have amazing ankles, I'm envious as mine are chunky. So you'd probably look great in a midaxi dress with trainers and then add a long cardi belted on the top
  • you dismissed a blazer, but a soft unstructured blazer is very easy to wear, doesn't look worky and will instantly update the top, new jeans, trainers combo
  • a few of your links have jersey dresses in them. Personally I think jersey is really hard to wear without feeling a bit frumpy.
  • lengths: it's either long or fairly short at the moment. Knee length fit and flare styles have moved on.

Apologies for the random comments and hope something helps and hope you find a style that makes you happy

VanCleefArpels · 31/10/2021 08:08

Stealmystyle40 on Instagram is petite (very slim too but I’m yet to find a petite round person in Instagram!). Her wardrobe is mostly at home casual like you describe OP and mostly high street. It might give you some inspiration

I think it’s time to either get your credit card out, buy a whole load of things online to try on and return (be brave!) or go to a department store with a no obligation styling service and put yourself in the hands of an expert. I did this years ago when I felt trapped in the frumpy mum mode and it was a revelation - so many things I wouldn’t have looked at twice on the hangar were brilliant.

cheeseisthebest · 31/10/2021 08:08

Oh trying to catch up. The cardigans aren't mine. On vinted. It was suggested I look on there for long cardies!

OP posts:
cheeseisthebest · 31/10/2021 08:19

Don't wear beige there aren't any photos of me wearing beige?Confused

OP posts:
Summerfun54321 · 31/10/2021 08:23

Ballet pumps and cardigans are the culprit. Swap out your pumps for boots or some lace up leather pumps or sandals with a small heal; and and swap out the cardies for nice knitted cashmere or chunky knit jumpers or blazers. And never wear leggings. Leggings, ballet pumps and cardies only look nice and stylish on very thin 20 somethings, most of us just look shit in them.

Ponks · 31/10/2021 08:29

A good start to making yourself feel better is new (well fitting) underwear and a haircut. At least, I always feel better about myself when my hair looks good.
Would also suggest trainers and a pair of chunky Chelsea boots to update your look.

cruffin · 31/10/2021 08:34

@cheeseisthebest

Don't wear beige there aren't any photos of me wearing beige?Confused
Your old boots and a couple of the cardigans you posted were of the beige family, get some black leather Chelsea boots and some colour - olive, navy,
Dellit · 31/10/2021 08:35

Hi OP from what I'm making of your comments, I don't think you are after a whole new style, you just want a more stylish/polished version of the way you usually dress. This is absolutely ok, and easily achievable. It's also more sustainable than trying to change to a whole new look, because if you buy a whole lot of new current fashions, they will be out of fashion in no time and you'll be thinking you need to buy other new things and change your look again. Whereas you can look quite stylish and polished without looking cutting edge 'fashionable', and as a bonus can wear the clothes for many years to come.

If that sounds like what you are aiming for, my advice is that it is all about fabric quality and fit. So just look for the same categories of clothes you already wear (eg jeans, cardis, t shirts, all good) - but make sure they fit you properly and in a way you feel comfortable (eg hug the bits you like, skim the bits you are less keen to emphasise, have a flattering neckline and sleeve/waist length that suits you), and look for good quality fabrics, eg natural fibres usually look and last better than synthetics, thicker fabrics usually drape better than thinner ones.

Charity shops can be great, or otherwise as pp have said go to a few bigger stores for a big try on session to find the shapes and colours that suit you and you feel good in. Spend a bit more than usual and buy fewer items instead- but don't spend more on particular brand labels or current trends, focus on whether you feel good in them and whether they look of good quality. Buy only one or two things at a time and learn as you go, and most importantly, have fun with it! Smile

cheeseisthebest · 31/10/2021 08:37

Cruffin those cardies aren't mine they are from vinted.
Yeh fair point about the beige boots.
I still love them though.

OP posts:
cheeseisthebest · 31/10/2021 08:39

@Dellit

Hi OP from what I'm making of your comments, I don't think you are after a whole new style, you just want a more stylish/polished version of the way you usually dress. This is absolutely ok, and easily achievable. It's also more sustainable than trying to change to a whole new look, because if you buy a whole lot of new current fashions, they will be out of fashion in no time and you'll be thinking you need to buy other new things and change your look again. Whereas you can look quite stylish and polished without looking cutting edge 'fashionable', and as a bonus can wear the clothes for many years to come.

If that sounds like what you are aiming for, my advice is that it is all about fabric quality and fit. So just look for the same categories of clothes you already wear (eg jeans, cardis, t shirts, all good) - but make sure they fit you properly and in a way you feel comfortable (eg hug the bits you like, skim the bits you are less keen to emphasise, have a flattering neckline and sleeve/waist length that suits you), and look for good quality fabrics, eg natural fibres usually look and last better than synthetics, thicker fabrics usually drape better than thinner ones.

Charity shops can be great, or otherwise as pp have said go to a few bigger stores for a big try on session to find the shapes and colours that suit you and you feel good in. Spend a bit more than usual and buy fewer items instead- but don't spend more on particular brand labels or current trends, focus on whether you feel good in them and whether they look of good quality. Buy only one or two things at a time and learn as you go, and most importantly, have fun with it! Smile

Thank you, yes spot on. I like the mom jeans, I like white trainers, like the scarf with stars on and stripey tops. Like the black and red blouse, like the green olive cardy (not with the red and black blouse!) Thank you
OP posts:
cruffin · 31/10/2021 08:39

@cheeseisthebest

Cruffin those cardies aren't mine they are from vinted. Yeh fair point about the beige boots. I still love them though.
OP sorry to be harsh but those boots are awful if you are trying to ditch the frumpy look. I don't think you really know what you want. Could you do a personal session at John Lewis?
toothache3000 · 31/10/2021 08:44

@cheeseisthebest

Like this. That's a great look btw!
I've stopped buying clothes and started buying outfits and it has totally changed how I shop. So here like you said it's a great look, buy the whole outfit - there's a reason clothes are styled like that on websites! Then I know what to put together and don't have to think about it. I also stick to a colour palette so that I can mix and match better.

It probably won't be popular, but I'm a big fan on Shein at the moment. I've just ordered a couple of new outfits and then I buy a few more pricey items to last like shoes. A pair of black DMs or a brown Chelsea boot go with anything Smile

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