Help please! Turned into a frump!

[cheeseisthebest]

Hi. I'm 43, bit overweight and short and I hate my clothes!
Never know what looks nice on me? Please help! I wear a lot of black, navy, grey or I have very patterned dresses from White Stuff.
I just don't know where to look or what would flatter me?

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie

Glad you found an outfit that makes you feel good. It looks nice.

I think the striped dresses probably need to go away until next Spring/summer but the others will work well with tights and boots.

Thank you! Yes this thread actually gave me the confidence to dig out my knee high boots today that I bought for work just bought just before lockdown and I hardly wore cos been working at home. Are knee boots still ok????

@cheeseisthebest

Wearing this today with these boots. Fitted navy dress with v neck. Black scarf and I love this coat. Its not a good photo but feel quite well put together today. Out for a lunch at a hotel.

I think that style of boot needs a length of dress that covers the top otherwise there’s a risk of looking like wellies. That dress with opaque tights and ankle boots would be better.

Or knee boots that sit closer to your leg - fabric sock boots or suede like these
www.mozimo.co.uk/womens-shoes-handbags-c70/gabor-baku-soft-textile-stretch-knee-high-boots-in-black-p22442/s293045?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=gabor-baku-soft-textile-stretch-knee-high-boots-in-black-size-5-colo-size-5-colour-black-sued-18040028005&utm_campaign=product%2Blisting%2Bads&cid=GBP&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_fiLBhDOARIsAF4khR1jJKuO4Xoqt_iBTdn7J-tqsddGd1v8-2QIX5xw0Ef59btoSeyPEgAaApwaEALw_wcB

Ok. I've ordered some ankle boots but got brown, maybe black would have been better.

I don't think your boots look like wellies. They'd work with a shorter dress/skirt or maybe a midi one.

I don't think the boots look like wellies either. They look fine, would look great with something a bit shorter. I also don't think you need to pack away the stripy dresses as the wound look fab with the teddy coat. Brown boots are more versatile however there will likely be times you want black too - I'd probably invest in something like the Clark's Orinoco which have lasted the test of time and barely changed in years so won't go out of date.

Someone has already suggested it but have a look on Pinterest for inspiration.
Eg grey cardigan, put 'grey cardigan' in the search box and you'll see tons of ideas.

I've just literally done that and one of the examples was this. Okay it's five years old now, but what's interesting is how you don't really notice the cardigan on the woman, it looks different in each outfit. Your eye notices the accessories, and accessories are usually easier to buy than clothes - especially if your size fluctuates.

So that might be something to keep in mind when you're shopping, buy the best basics that you can afford eg good white t-shirts or shirts, decent jeans, plain colours, nothing too out of your own comfort zone otherwise you'll just never wear it.

Perhaps is part of the issue could be avoiding what might be perceived as being too young (from a comment you made upstream). Could it be that you are sort of purposely picking styles that may seem frumpier (agree hate the word) to avoid that. I’d try to ignore those feelings (I say this being a few years older) and try to wear what you like. Personally, I like a leather biker with floaty midi skirts (ubiquitous but attractive I think). I like this kind of style, even at 46. If people think I look ridiculous then I’m oblivious so it doesn’t matter! I would would wear the second floral dress above, which would look nice with black tights and a cable cardie and the boots or similar but not the first leopard one at all I’m afraid. I agree with pp that you may suit shorter dresses, maybe a cable jumper dress with wide roll neck? That would look nice with the blue teddy coat above and flat black boots?

Some chunky leather boots would update your look, plus I'd avoid that just-below-the-knee length.

Those Gabor boots are definitely not frumpy. Love them!

Play to your strengths. Good legs wear a kind skirts. Good cleavage pretty v neck tops - etc. A line dresses look good on everyone

@cheeseisthebest

Ok. I've ordered some ankle boots but got brown, maybe black would have been better.

If your go to tights are black then definitely black boots as this will be leg lengthening. Personally I think that bots in a lighter shade (as your boots of today) just draw attention to your legs. Knee high hoots tend to stop at the widest part of the leg and so if you can see the top of the boot below the bottom of your skirt it’s not the most flattering of shapes. As others have said you either take the skirt higher and so show off a narrower part of your leg (knee area) or take the boot lower so it hits at your ankle, the narrowest part of the leg (or giving the illusion of barrow if you have cankles)

I like your outfit - I think the coat over dress and boots looks smart and classic. If you felt good then that's a great start to a wardrobe rediscovery/overhaul. If you'll be wearing blue dresses often, I'd consider finding a scarf in a matching or complimentary colour for the winter.

For a fresh look, I'd try that denim dress with a belt or other accessory in bright red, maybe with the sleeves rolled up, plus red lipstick, thick socks and your new Chelsea boots.

Are you on Facebook? Maybe a group like "the confidence Bible" would be good for you to join, so that you can see what other women your shape wear. Or Instagram? Are you following people who look similar to you and who have a nice style? That's what I do to get ideas

The outfit is a big improvement on your original photo so well done OP.

But, navy, black and brown all in one outfit?? That doesn't work very well. I'd avoid navy and black together as it's not generally a great combination. No need for the black scarf surely? (and it's not cold enough yet to wear it for functional reasons?)

Perhaps part of the issue could be avoiding what might be perceived as being too young (from a comment you made upstream). Could it be that you are sort of purposely picking styles that may seem frumpier (agree hate the word) to avoid that.

I think this comment from @schoolsoutforever sounds spot on. Your taste seems to be very 'sensible'. You're 43, not 83! Have some fun with what you wear.

Oh yes, and the denim dress looks like a winner. Good choice.

Also on FB - Style Sisterhood .

@HundredMilesAnHour I agree on the black/navy/brown thing but have to disagree on navy and black - it is considered quite chic in some circles!
whateverywomanneeds.com/how-to-wear-black-and-navy-together/

It's bloody freezing where I am!
I know black and navy isn't great together but it did actually look ok

What scarf would go with my tweed coat?

Navy and black can actually look really good together. It helps if it's different textures/fabrics - velvet and silk or silk and leather, for example.

This is direct link to thread women's: www.thread.com/gb/shop/women -- My ideas and then you can take a style quiz / budget etc and it will then show outfit ideas.

@cheeseisthebest

What scarf would go with my tweed coat?

I can't see the coat colour mix that clearly, but maybe a muted mossy green or warm olive? Or the same colour as the outfit underneath, e.g. black scarf with a black dress, dark blue with a navy dress. I stick to two colours at a time usually - it's an easy shortcut to looking co-ordinated.

[quote VanCleefArpels]@HundredMilesAnHour I agree on the black/navy/brown thing but have to disagree on navy and black - it is considered quite chic in some circles!
whateverywomanneeds.com/how-to-wear-black-and-navy-together/[/quote]
It can look very chic. If it's styled well. Given where the OP seems to be on her style 'journey', I think it might be safer to stick with more obvious combinations until she builds some confidence.

I hate the word frumpy, I’m in my mid sixties, I wouldn’t wear the shoes you have in with the dress, if I was you I’d go round the charity shops you can find some great stuff, I’m not that much a fan of florals some can make you look years older, bit Pat butcher, If I got a small amount of money I’d have my hair restyled and start there, or ask a friend what they think would suit you, it’s really trial and error please don’t put yourself down op, I’ve always been interested massively in clothes and worked in clothes shops for years, getting inspiration, it doesn’t all come naturally to all people! Wishing you happy shopping and a great time finding out which things suit you