Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Original poster

Help needed... dinner at the ivy!

218 replies

maz82 · 16/09/2021 13:02

I am going out for dinner for my daughters 21st this Saturday and I have nothing to wear! I have gained about 3 stone over the past year and nothing fits except casual wear that I've been living in. I really need some ideas. Need to be able to order today for next day delivery or I can go in store tomorow. I am a size 18 and very insecure about myself. Really bottom heavy, small waist but conscious of my arms and stomach. Oh and I am 39 if that makes a difference although I've always been quite a young 39. Anyone have any ideas please?

OP posts:

DottyHarmer · 27/09/2021 10:11

I’m afraid you used the word “cringe” to describe people dressing up for The Ivy. Oh, excuse me, an Ivy.

Whatever you say, you sound very sneery - even the comment that you have never been in a (holding between thumb and forefinger) a Zizzi.

Floisme · 27/09/2021 11:07

Try this. I've never been to a Zizzi restaurant. It's my nan's birthday and she's booked us lunch. How dressy is it? I don't know what to wear. She's always quite dressed up and expect her to be on this occasion.

My nan is long dead but, if it were her birthday, and her do, I would wear something she'd like, which from what you've said, would mean something dressed up. It wouldn't need to be something she'd wear herself, not necessarily my whole outfit even, but something in her honour, and better still, something she'd given me herself.

This is why we call it 'occasion dressing' rather than 'venue dressing'. You're welcome. Have a nice time.

TwinsandTrifle · 27/09/2021 11:21

This is why we call it 'occasion dressing' rather than 'venue dressing'. You're welcome. Have a nice time.
Ummm....you've repeated exactly what I've said, but in some way think you've enlightened me to this?

Whatever you say, you sound very sneery - even the comment that you have never been in a (holding between thumb and forefinger) a Zizzi.

You're really quite strange. Are you always so professionally offended? I couldn't tell you even what the cuisine is in a Zizzi. Don't know what they are. Don't know if they're dressy or super casual. Never been in one. First place I could think of that I've never been in. You did super well to project that's "sneery" but it's cute

Floisme · 27/09/2021 11:36

No, I was just answering your point about not knowing what to wear for your nan's birthday by telling you what I'd do in that situation. Sorry you didn't find it enlightening but I'm sure you'll figure something out.

Anyway I mainly came back to this thread because I thought the op had returned to report back and I'm sorry she hasn't. I hope she had a good time.

Verite1 · 27/09/2021 11:52

I honestly do not know how you can defend the use of word “cringed”. It is just pure bitchiness. Surely you can see the difference between saying there is no need to dress up if you don’t want and saying those that chose to make you cringe. It is indefensible.

TwinsandTrifle · 27/09/2021 12:58

That's what I meant. You responded quite normally about occasion dressing as opposed to venue dressing. Did it occur to you at any point to say "actually you sound really sneery because you've never been to a Zizzi". Of course not. It wouldn't be normal. That's why your response doesn't say anything of the sort.

Apparently though, it's very obviously sneery

DottyHarmer · 27/09/2021 13:42

You said “cringe”. That’s the top and bottom of it.

TwinsandTrifle · 27/09/2021 13:51

I mean...if someone saying "cringe" turns your world upside down.

If I see someone wearing top to toe Burberry, I also think "cringe.". Been looking at my own wardrobe this morning at things that seem ten years out of date, that made me "cringe" too.

You'll probably need a lie down after that.

Verite1 · 27/09/2021 13:55

You can say cringe about yourself of course. Why would anyone care? But saying it on a thread from a woman who had just opened up about feeling insecure about what she looked like was just cruel.

TwinsandTrifle · 27/09/2021 14:25

But I was saying it personally. As in that's what I thought. And it wasn't directed at OP either. It was my opinion on what I had seen at some point. I can cringe at what I like. It's called personal opinion and preference. As can you.

You might cringe at something that I wouldn't bat an eyelid at. You're entitled too. Difference is, I'm not getting hysterical about what a terrible person you must be because of it.

Sisisimone · 27/09/2021 14:59

The OP was clearly looking forward to celebrating a special occasion with her dd at this restaurant. To then come on and say this place is just somewhere you take your kids is pretty nasty. You were trying to put the OP down because there is just no reason to mention this other than to try and look superior.

If I was going out to celebrate my dds 21st I certainly wouldn't be just throwing on a pair of old jeans. A special occasion is just that, wherever you end up.

I really hope the OP comes back and updates us and that she and her dd had a wonderful time.

DottyHarmer · 27/09/2021 15:15

We celebrated DD’s 18th at The (an) Ivy. Everyone was (cringingly!) dressed up and I saw no kids just popping in for an ordinary weekday tea.

All the tables appeared to be having a fine time, the food and service were very good.

I’d thoroughly recommend it for a nice occasion.

TwinsandTrifle · 27/09/2021 15:15

The OP was clearly looking forward to celebrating a special occasion with her dd at this restaurant. To then come on and say this place is just somewhere you take your kids is pretty nasty.

You are very odd. It is where I take my children. Perhaps ask why you find it so nasty.

TwinsandTrifle · 27/09/2021 15:22

Well there you go. Your experience is that you go all dressed up. And that "everyone was dressed up" My experience is that it's where I take DTwins for lunch and wear jeans, amongst many other mums doing the same. Note the multiple posters on pages 1 and 2 saying they wear jeans as well.

Perhaps also note my ability that I don't have to pearl clutch at how nasty and superior you clearly are, because you are describing your experience.

Embarrassing. Sorry, "cringey"

Sisisimone · 27/09/2021 15:53

You are very odd. It is where I take my children. Perhaps ask why you find it so nasty.
If you honestly have to ask, I can only deduce that you lack basic social skills and no amount of explaining will make a jot of difference to you. Multiple posters before me have explained. Maybe re-read your post from the viewpoint of yourself looking forward to treating your daughter for their 21st birthday and have a little think about how it would sound to you in that situation.
Clue: when you are excited that you have booked somewhere special for a treat for your dd its not nice to be sneerily told that actually it's just somewhere you always go in your old jeans with your snotty nosed kids. Don't believe for 1 second you don't realise that
And just to pre-empt you, I'm sure that your darling twins have never had a snotty nose in their life

DottyHarmer · 27/09/2021 18:08

Exactly. TwinsandTrifle has scored a table at Mirazur (apparently world’s best restaurant) and someone says, “Oh, that old place - the kids and I go twice a week (tinkly laugh) you should see the saddos who dress up ! It’s just our little local…”

(Mind you, I can just see TwinsandTrifle saying just that…..)

TwinsandTrifle · 27/09/2021 19:08

I'm not the clueless one sweetie

If you can't understand that you can still have a nice/special/occasion based time in a venue where it's the norm to wear jeans, then explaining anything else is pretty pointless.

No one pissed on OPs parade, no matter how much you pretend saying "don't stand on ceremony on the restaurant's behalf" means that.

What went wrong in your life to be so offended where there's none to be taken?

DottyHarmer · 28/09/2021 18:53

I repeat ad infinitum, you said “cringe”. Not nice. Badly done.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9