Page 3 | Help needed... dinner at the ivy!

maz82 · 2021-09-16T12:02:11+00:00

I am going out for dinner for my daughters 21st this Saturday and I have nothing to wear! I have gained about 3 stone over the past year and nothing fits except casual wear that I've been living in. I really need some ideas. Need to be able to order today for next day delivery or I can go in store tomorow. I am a size 18 and very insecure about myself. Really bottom heavy, small waist but conscious of my arms and stomach. Oh and I am 39 if that makes a difference although I've always been quite a young 39. Anyone have any ideas please?

Turkishangora · 16/09/2021 22:23

@bakingtraypan you can't help when you're out noticing other people in a restaurant, they're what gives it is vibe amongst other things. Food was ok, but I'm veggie and often a bit underwhelmed by veggie food in places like that. The service was excellent I have to say..

leavesthataregreen · 16/09/2021 22:44

@TwinsandTrifle

Hi

Unless you're going to West Street in London, it's not "The Ivy" in any way you're imagining. I suspect it's an Ivy brasserie, which is a high street chain, that requires no real dressing up. For context, it's where I take DTwins for lunch. Honestly, wear a nice wrap dress, or white shirt and good jeans. Nothing above that. Wrap dress in particular if you feel uncomfortable about your figure.

IMHO the odd smattering of people you see all done up in an Ivy brasserie, is just a bit cringy and sort of highlights that they don't know the difference between the flagship (which is more of an occasion, but still not that dressy) and a high street chain.

I don't agree. What I love about the Ivy brasseries is you don't look out of place in jeans or formal evening wear. The maximalist design sort of absorbs everyone. I had lunch with DS in the Oxford brasserie and there was a family all in their best clothes having a lovely lunch looking do happy. The place is so OTT they looked great in their velvet dresses with net petticoats.

Wtf86 · 16/09/2021 22:48

Why put down an Ivy Brasserie ‘oh it’s where I take DTwins for lunch’ like it’s the local MacDonalds! For some people it is a bloody treat!

And yes it is a nice smart lovely chain of restaurants where some people go all dressed up and others don’t! You get yourself a lovely dress OP and go celebrate your daughter’s birthday - go big! 💖

bonfireheart · 16/09/2021 22:53

It might be fine to wear jeans and trainers, but also fine to dress up, such few occasions to dress up that you should make the most of it OP and enjoy the birthday (and please no to white trainers with a dress, yes they look fine but please )

Kiitos · 16/09/2021 23:16

I think some people are being a bit harsh about The Ivy - yes it’s quite widespread now and it doesn’t have to be smart but it’s also nice for special occasion and you can get a dressed up to go there and wouldn’t look out of place at all.

bonfireheart · 17/09/2021 00:31

@Kiitos I do sometimes wonder what MN do get dressed up for, certainly not birthdays, special occasions or even weddings.

bonfireheart · 17/09/2021 00:32

Am tempted to dress to take twins to Pizza Express...cos guess what, no one in real life judges.

Kiitos · 17/09/2021 02:51

@bonfireheart yes exactly! I love clothes and love an opportunity to dress up. I wouldn’t ever mind being ‘overdressed’ - I also think it’s respectful to make an effort for special occasions!
I go to all sorts of places to eat and while yes there are places posher/smarter than The Ivy, I think it is a place that deserves a nice outfit 🙂

Bakingtraypan · 17/09/2021 04:37

“I had lunch with DS in the Oxford brasserie and there was a family all in their best clothes having a lovely lunch looking do happy. The place is so OTT they looked great in their velvet dresses with net petticoats.“ This family would have intrigued me - best clothes? How did you know - maybe they dress like that every day? Velvet dresses and net petticoats, that certainly isn’t usual, maybe even a bit weird, I’d suspect a religious cult, deeply traditionalist leanings. Dressing their kids up like Victorian dolls? Wonder what the story was. 😁 I’d be desperate to ask them. We need more families bucking the trend, giving us something to talk about - so much more interesting than judging people for wearing gym clothes to a Michelin star or cocktail frocks to lunch in a casual restaurant.

HeronLanyon · 17/09/2021 04:46

Just want to agree with pps - wear what you will be most confortable in physically and to suit the occasion/your group. Wrap dress sounding good. I eat there occasionally and it’s got a smart vibe often but is relaxed. Eg perfectly normal to wear eg smart jeans or trainers through to ‘full monty’.
Have fun.

BasiliskStare · 17/09/2021 04:52

I know the Ivy Brasserie is now somewhat of a chain - but to be fair - it is nice ( some nicer than others ) but the food is good and for a 21st birthday I think a lovely idea. Short of ( I would say no black tie ) I do think in the evening either a nice dress or a lovely shirt and trousers would be good. I would dress for daughter's 21st - not for the Ivy.

I do think most people get if they are going to one of the brasseries they are not going to the original Ivy. It isn't rocket science. & I think not to be snooty about. I've been to some and yes some are better than others but the food is nice and the ambience is normally good so I think a great choice for a 21st .

Happy Birthday to DD @maz82

Bakingtraypan · 17/09/2021 05:07

@BasiliskStare

I know the Ivy Brasserie is now somewhat of a chain - but to be fair - it is nice ( some nicer than others ) but the food is good and for a 21st birthday I think a lovely idea. Short of ( I would say no black tie ) I do think in the evening either a nice dress or a lovely shirt and trousers would be good. I would dress for daughter's 21st - not for the Ivy.

I do think most people get if they are going to one of the brasseries they are not going to the original Ivy. It isn't rocket science. & I think not to be snooty about. I've been to some and yes some are better than others but the food is nice and the ambience is normally good so I think a great choice for a 21st .

Happy Birthday to DD @maz82

Yes but the op has nothing to wear except casual - there’s nothing wrong with saying casual is fine - no need to worry. Of course get dressed up for the occasion if you want but there’s no need to because it’s the Ivy.

HeronLanyon · 17/09/2021 05:11

I sorry I failed to read this is in Cheltenham. But assume relaxed vibe allowing you to dress as you wish to suit yourself and your group/occasion applies equally. Have fun

BasiliskStare · 17/09/2021 05:46

@Bakingtraypan and @HeronLanyon - I think I am agreeing with you both - either relaxed is fine or a bit dressier because a 21st birthday would be fine but my point was if DD and friends want to go a bit dressier than that would work - If you , @maz82 have a wrap dress or black jeans with a nice top - both would be lovely and totally appropriate

I hope you have a fantastic evening.

I suspect you can't go wrong.

HeronLanyon · 17/09/2021 05:57

Yes basilisk we do agree. If it were me I’d feel I had free rein to dress as suited the occasion. For me a 21st celebration would be dictated by what the family vibe is. Can see it being relaxed casual right through to dressy depending on family norms here.

ittakes2 · 17/09/2021 06:14

Try www.simplybe.com

Original poster

maz82 · 17/09/2021 07:06

Thank you for your replies. Some good suggestions! To me and my daughter the ivy is a treat and a chance to maybe dress up a bit, especially as its her birthday. Will go to some shops today and see what's about. Will definitely head to next and have a look at some nice wrap dresses. My dad is definitely using it as an occasion to dress up so I don't think jeans and nice top will suffice anymore. Will keep ypu updated on what I choose.

OP posts:

Original poster

maz82 · 17/09/2021 07:07

My dd not dad 😒

OP posts:

Karwomannghia · 17/09/2021 07:18

I tend to just stroll in with my muddy boots straight from the field with my gun dogs!

Not really. I went to one in Harrogate for my birthday and wore a dress and everyone else was smart too. I always like to wear something nice to go out to a restaurant! Have a lovely time. Wrap dress sounds good!

brokenbiscuitsx · 17/09/2021 07:31

In the day smart casual but in the eve the Cheltenham one seems a little more dressy. Last time I went no one was in jeans or trainers. Well maybe the odd man but no women that I noticed. In the eve there I have worn a midi skirt and long sleeves top and a wide leg trousers jump suit.

MiddlesexGirl · 17/09/2021 07:32

Interesting thread.
Fwiw there's no way I'd go out for a special occasion in jeans. Partly because they're one of the least comfortable options for sitting down and eating in!
Special occasion for me means dressing up a bit. Lots of lovely comfortable dresses posted on here; I do think that dresses are the easiest option for pear shapes.

Howshouldibehave · 17/09/2021 07:40

Oh and I am 39 if that makes a difference although I've always been quite a young 39

Sorry, that made me chuckle. Even when you were 21!

You’ve had some good responses on here. I do think a wrap dress can be fab though I get what PP said about it gaping with big boobs-it doesn’t if you wear a tight vest top underneath.

I’d go for jeans, heels and a floaty top to cover upper arms. And a beautiful necklace! Have fun.

GoWalkabout · 17/09/2021 07:42

OP will you show us what you have found to wear and tell us how it was? It's such a lovely 21st plan and I have never been (not too far from you) and might steal this idea for dds 21st when we get there. Enjoy getting dressed up, splash of perfume and lippy and have a fabulous night

knittingaddict · 17/09/2021 07:47

The Ivy is not a posh dress up place though. It's just a chain of quite nice restaurants I wouldn't worry too much about what to wear. I've been for lunch there in completely normal day clothes. It's not The Ivy

knittingaddict · 17/09/2021 07:57

[quote bonfireheart]@Kiitos I do sometimes wonder what MN do get dressed up for, certainly not birthdays, special occasions or even weddings.[/quote]
I don't think it's just mn to be fair. There is definitely a general trend towards casual these days.

We ate at a sea food restaurant a couple of days ago that is in the Michelin guide (not a starred one though) and was a bit concerned that we were too casual. Needn't have worried. People were wearing trainers and polo shirts and had Saisburys carrier bags with them.