If you used to be ‘alternative’

[Sleepyhungryfattyanddoc]

What do you wear now?

As a teen / early 20s I liked lots of black, lots of ‘gothic’emo looks. As I got older I obviously moved away from it
But now my look is just blah and doesn’t feel like me at all. I never have an outfit to put on that I actually like or feel great in, just ‘ok’ at best
I’m sick of never feeling good or excited about my outfit, or just feeling like ‘me’

I’m obviously older and a mum, I don’t want to be dressing head to toe ‘goth’ but I don’t know how to find what my slightly more ‘sophisticated’ look may be

I know this dilemma.Since having my second baby and losing the baby I've sort of found my style again. Ive dyed my hair red and invested in a few things from that Stitch Fix service as I can never find things I like online shopping myself.
Today I'm wearing dungarees, bright tee, converse. Not exactly groundbreaking but I feel comfortable.
The trick is to spend more on less stuff so the quality is better for a slightly older figure.

I'm the same, now I just live in jeans and t shirts. I only ever occasionally go to the odd rock/metal gig. I'm the least metal-looking metalhead I know.

My wardrobe is boring.

*losing the baby WEIGHT.

Sorry if that post was accidentally upsetting. My baby is 10mo and very healthy! X

Black skinnies. Converse/suede boots (with/without heels depending on the occasion). A selection of band/feminist slogan t-shirts. Leather jacket.

That's when I feel most 'me'. I mean, I do also wear stretchy jazzy trousers and a yellow mac on the school run.

I think you can still achieve the alternative look by not being influenced by fashion.
Different textures, fabrics and the odd accessory. A chunky ring, nails that clash, a bright lippie, a hat. Not worn altogether but just alternative pieces you can dip into.

Why cant you dress like a Goth just because you're a mum?

Now my look is just blah and doesn’t feel like me at all. I never have an outfit to put on that I actually like or feel great in, just ‘ok’ at best. I’m sick of never feeling good or excited about my outfit, or just feeling like ‘me’
Completely get what you say here OP. I recently came across a couple of items of clothing I'd loved so much at 16-18 that I stashed them away. It felt so good to wear them again, thirty years on! I was me again, and the world felt my oyster.

Theres loads of stuff on EMP that you could wear that would make you feel like the old you.

I’ve never really stopped. The look has softened over the years, particularly for work. I wear DM/Solovair shoes and boots, and use Mod Shoes for some work heels as they have some quirky designs but are well made. Dress mainly in black tailored clothes for work, a more relaxed dressed down skinnies/band shirts etc look for casual and I have quite a bit of velvet stuff - jackets, dresses, short skirts worn with flat knee length decent quality lace up boots. Black leather biker jacket, a real one, not a fashion version. I get some things from Mazeys, Hell Bunny, Attitude and EMP.

@malificent7

Why cant you dress like a Goth just because you're a mum?

You can, but my teenage look doesn’t feel appropriate for 30 year old me, and since becoming a mum it feels even more removed from who I am now.

@EmeraldGreenVelvet

Now my look is just blah and doesn’t feel like me at all. I never have an outfit to put on that I actually like or feel great in, just ‘ok’ at best. I’m sick of never feeling good or excited about my outfit, or just feeling like ‘me’ Completely get what you say here OP. I recently came across a couple of items of clothing I'd loved so much at 16-18 that I stashed them away. It felt so good to wear them again, thirty years on! I was me again, and the world felt my oyster.

This is exactly what I think I’d feel like if a found an outfit I loved! I used to be so confident and outgoing, and I know an outfit doesn’t ‘fix’ problems, but I think it would be a boost to being comfortable again!

Fun prints, colours and jewellery. Love the stuff on Joanne Clothing and Harkel for example and dresses with DMs, junk jewellery that’s quirky etc. Bright colours too.

I was never properly goth or anything but I'm probably more alternative now I'm almost 40 than I ever was. I do wear a lot of black skinny jeans though and mainly pair it with black tops, more cami/blouse type things than tshirts. I tend to do chunky boots of some sort and a leather jacket when needed. I agree with emp, the quality is good and sizing fair, I've quite a few dresses from there that I love.

Still have a couple of facial piercings but the dyed black hair and heavy eye makeup is no more! I tend to wear converse/vans and shop mainly at Zara, H&M and eBay. Still don't particularly want to dress like everyone else and I still like black.

You can, but my teenage look doesn’t feel appropriate for 30 year old me, and since becoming a mum it feels even more removed from who I am now.
There is a middle ground. There are many elements if the look that you can wear that will let your personality shine through if you dont feel comfortable being full on goth.
It's you putting limitations on yourself.
Have a look on EMP if you haven't already and I'm sure you can find a look that will make you feel like you again.

Whist I was never full goth, I’ve not really changed my look much either. At 44 I’m still in black, biker boots, hoodies. Piercings. Eye catching glasses, eyeliner, I actually stopped dying my hair as it’s now white at the front and that’s pretty alternative! I don’t feel very adult, despite 3 children, marriage and a grown up job! I do feel like me though.

Would Dark Academia work for you?

My best mate was a bit goth and I was a bit indie back in the day, and we have both gone through what you are described and landed in slightly different places with some overlap
She wears lots of Run and Fly dungas and mini pinies with snags and DMs/converse. She’s embraced colour but is solidly back in her alternative roots and looks amazing.
I like Lucy and Yak dungas (prefer the single colour corduroys) but also like quite feminine things like tiered dresses or midi skirts as long as I “clash” them with something less “feminine” like DMs, oversized knitwear.
I like Cos, Arket, Wolf and Badger, urban Outfitters, Zara and the odd bit of Hush (a lot of it is quite “safe”) and Uniqlo for basics.
This is the happiest I’ve been with my “style” in a long time. I feel very meh if I pull on just jeans and a top although sometimes something as simple as a big pair of hoops helps.

I buy a lot from EMP. Loads of Converse on my feet. New Rock boots for winter. Anything as long as it's black! Loads of silver jewellery. I never dyed my hair anyway and still don't. I don't wear the makeup much any more either. The tattoos are still visible . Uniqlo for basics - the t-shirts are plain and you can get dark colours. Cannot stand twee t-shirts with French phrases on them .

This is me too, only I'm 54 going on 55 so it's probably even more difficult. I used to be super slim, dress in black and had long black straight hair, red lips, black eyeliner - people used to say I looked like Morticia Addams. Which I took as a compliment btw.

I'm now mainly jeans and T-shirt and hoodie. Growing my grey hair out (it's a bob), which I like mostly - but would love to get back to being a bit more quirky and sort of effortlessly cool like I used to be. But I worry if I do something too out there, I'll look like a total tit.

I'm particularly interested in your "eyecatching glasses" @bonzo77

I used to be somewhere in the venn diagram of goth, greebo and grunge.

These days (47) I just wear generic clothes, by which I mean not especially fashionable but roughly contemporary shapes. Probably a bit tending to darker colours, natural fabrics and interesting patterns.

In my head I blend into the middle aged background, but colleagues in my last job used to make joke spliff-smoking gestures at me so I'm clearly still expressing something alternative, though god knows what it is!

(* I don't personally, but I don't judge people who do and it's fair to say some of my social circle is still quite alternative/90s drug culture)

I became a bit more Rockabilly I guess, still mostly black with some bright jewel colours thrown in (reds, purples, teals) I'm obsessed with polkadot dresses and still wear my DMs
Hair is red rather than black these days and I base my makeup on red lips rather than black kohl.
I still very rarely wear jeans, I only have 2 pairs and one pair is black.
Upgraded the jewellery as the stuff I wore in my goth days brings me out in a rash. Interesting things bought second hand now

i used to be punk and goth and indie or grunge at various stages, and I think I still have an alternative kind of style, except in a much more practical way. You cant wear big platform boots if you need to drive for example and ive got no time to put directions in my hair every week or wear fiddly clothes, but i do get comments about the amount of things I can still "carry off" but i think that you can carry anything off if you just wear it and dont care

I’m over 30 and at heart a goth… make it classic, black dresses are my go to, if you’ve more to spend - companies like The Kooples do goth without being too ‘young’ or ridiculous. Also H & M have some great choices, got a dress for £5 yesterday which was gothy but classy. I always wear lipstick but have abandoned the darker eye as that can be too much for the day.

Hating being pregnant as it is killing my style somewhat…