Am I actually “too skinny”

[VanGoSunflowers]

Please be kind as I know I will sound awful typing this…

I’ve always been small - usually fluctuate between an 8 and a 10 and am 5’7”. When I feel stressed, I lose my appetite and find it hard to eat. I have had a very stressful few months and fallen in to bad habits of working through lunch on a few occasions because I haven’t felt hungry. I’ve also had a sickness bug which hasn’t helped!

Anyway - a colleague keeps telling me that I am “too skinny” which I find quite hurtful. To be honest, I’m trying not to worry too much about my appearance right now but these comments are making me feel paranoid. BMI wise I’m probably on the low end of ‘healthy’ - I’m a ten on the bottom and an 8 on the top.

Does this sound horrendously emaciated?? Do people really look at people with my frame and think I look disgusting? Or is my colleague being unkind? I’m trying not to let it bother me but I’ve always been picked on for my weight, ever since I was young and it seems to trigger me somehow

Your colleague is rude. It would be more acceptable from a friend or close relative, IF there was genuine cause for concern, but if you are at the low end of healthy BMI then that doesn't sound like the case. Next time say, "I was brought up to think that it was rude to comment on someone else's appearance."

I'm always shocked that people feel they can say "You're too skinny" when you would never dream of saying "You're too fat" to someone.

From your measurements it doesn't sound like you're unhealthily thin but it's about how YOU feel about yourself. Don't change because of some rude cow at work.

I'm always shocked that people feel they can say "You're too skinny" when you would never dream of saying "You're too fat" to someone.

This. Although Id be tempted to say just that to this particular colleague!

I think you sound fine. Too many people are overweight imo. If it makes you feel better, I get the same comments and I am a size 12 (can fit the occasional vanity size 10 in bottoms). The comment are always made by people who could do with losing weight (and spend a lot of time saying this!)

I wouldn't say so your the same height as me and I'm a size 8 always have been, what's your weight ?

Your colleague does sound rude.

If your BMI is within the healthy range and you have a healthy attitude to eating I wouldn’t pay any heed. I am 5’8” and look best (in my opinion) at a size 8, I’m currently a 12. When I was an 8 I was still eating, I just made better choices and was much more active.

Anyway - a colleague keeps telling me that I am “too skinny” which I find quite hurtful.

Your colleague is TOO rude and TOO interested in what other people are doing.
Sounds as though she might actually feel TOO insecure and is projecting this onto you.

She sounds rude. I have a very slim friend and I saw her at the weekend and she's like a twig. I was actually quite shocked but would never dream of saying anything

Your colleague is a prat

Thank you all. I shouldn’t let it bother me, I know. Just another confidence knock though!

I’m not 100% sure what I weight but I’d guess between 9 and 9 1/2 stone

It sounds like your colleague is just finding a way to pick fault with you either because she wants to be unkind, or because she doesn't like herself, or both. Only you know if you are healthy as well as slim, but I'm 5' 8", size 8-10 and am healthy, weigh more than people would think from my size and shape, and wouldn't want to be bigger, even if someone said I didn't look good at this size. Ignore this unkind person, focus on taking care of yourself and eating well as much as you can, even if you don't always feel like it (not when you don't need to, but remembering not to get dizzy, or tired from lack of food).

No you're not. You're simply slim.
Your colleague is rude.

I've always had lots of these sort of comments and always take it as a compliment! Size 8 at 5'7 is normal - especially if you are in the normal range of BMI. I think people have totally lost sight of what a healthy weight is and looks like and I second the PP who said it's usually the people who could lose a few lbs who make comments like this!

My DSD is ( just) underweight and a size 6-8. Shes slim but looks healthy and her GP has told her that her weight is fine. Your " friend" sounds jealous and mean. I would ignore her.

Your BMI is normal

Your colleague was thoughtless/rude

You sound absolutely fine. I'm the same height as you and size 8, definitely don't feel skinny - just slim & healthy.

Think about the average weight in the UK. We've got an obesity problem. Peoples' views on what's normal are skewed xx

You sound fine OP. I agree with pp that some people have lost sight of what is a healthy weight. Plus comments like that (I've been on the receiving end) more often than not stem from jealousy. Rather than compliment you on looking great some people would rather try and knock your confidence due to their own insecurities

If you wear size 10, you're not too thin. Literally millions of people are that size and many are thinner. Tell your colleague not to comment on your size.

You're exactly the same as me and I dont think I'm too skinny. I hate the way people think it's ok to say someones 'too skinny' but wouldn't dream of saying someones fat!

I don't know if you're "too skinny" because I have no idea what you look like. Even if you were emaciated though, it's not her place to tell you.

I'm sure you look lovely OP, people often aren't kind enough and sometimes like to pick fault, I'm the same height, trying to lose weight to get down to your size, I wish I was your size already!

You're not too skinny. Your colleague's too rude. At 9 stone you're maybe at the low end of healthy BMI but still healthy. I'm 5'7" and about 9.5 stone and definitely not underweight. Through my 20's I was about 8 stone - just naturally thin, I never controlled my eating in any way. I had lots of people tell me I was too skinny, it always struck me as so rude.

It sounds as though you are at a perfectly healthy weight, so your colleague is wrong in that sense. But if you are losing weight because of stress to the extent that other people can see a change in you, that's a pretty good indicator that your mental health isn't all it should be right now. Is there anything you could do to ease some of the stress and prioritize your health a bit?

hi i have some fat for you of you need it! 😂 I was very slim when i was younger and if i got nervous the weight just came off. People thought i was anorexic. It was upsetting as i ate loads.

No, of course not. How rude of your colleague to say that, though!