Anyone else self conscious abour wearing a bathing suit?

[moita]

Took my kids to a water park today and embarrassingly I was one of the few mums in tshirt and shorts. Purely because I'm ashamed of my body.

I'm not the thinnest and do need to lose weight but I remember being a size 6 (many years ago!!) and still felt ashamed of my body.

I need to get over this and at the age of 35 I want to wear a swimsuit not just for comfort but I'm worried my kids will notice mum's not wearing what other mummies are.

Anyone else feel like this or has words of wisdom?

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I am on the beach in Italy right now. We’re the only British/Irish family, everyone else is Italian or European (German, Austrian etc). There is every conceivable body shape including a lady with an artificial leg. They are all in bikinis or swimsuits having a great time. No one giving a shiny shite about what they look like or covering up or holding their tummies in. It’s brill

I hide from the sun as much as possible so I tend to wear rash vest - which is like a high necked, long sleeved t-shirt, but for swim - and board shorts. This also makes me feel a lot covered up and less body conscious. Could be worth a consideration?

I'm a size 22/24 and wear a swim suit or a swim dress at the swimming pool or on the beach with my daughter. No-one cares. I've never noticed anyone staring at me or making any comment. I'm just another mum. I don't think about what I look like, it doesn't matter.

Just don't be. I'm a weight I want to be but for many years wasn't. I live in Cornwall and NOTHING was ever going to stop my full enjoyment of the sea!
I think cossies are great levellers actually. For every 'perfect' beach body there are many who aren't!

Sad thing is I haven’t had kids and I’m still self conscious. I’m a size 12 but I have big thighs and hips that aren’t Toned so I hate it

Yes it's odd that only non swim suit wearers are noticed. I just feel it's more modest to wear shorts and vest top rather than affectivly my bra. Each to their own though. I'd not think much of anyone who wears more covered swimsuit.

You will be noticed and stand out more wearing tshirt and shorts.

I'm size 18-20 and 45. I swim almost everyday at the beach in a swimsuit. Bikini in summer. No one looks. Why would they? Everyone of every size and age wears swimming attire on the beach

Wearing 'cover up' type clothes makes you look like you are self conscious and you'll stand out for that reason only! I'd think 'shame she can't feel comfortable in a swimsuit' and feel sorry for you! . If you were wearing a swimsuit I wouldn't look once never mind twice!

Wear what you feel comfortable in, have fun and honestly, no one cares! If that’s a bikini then great, if you’d rather a swim dress then also fine. I have to say your shorts and t shirt sound quite practical for the water park though. I’m usually a tiny bikini on the beach type but I’d probably go board short and t shirt if I was going to one. It’s so easy to get sunburn at those places and no one wants a nip slip or a wedgie on the slides!

This is a different style that could be quite flattering and modest. Had an integrated sarong.

tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/p/Khaki-Palm-Print-Tummy-Control-Swim-Dress/136725203-DarkGreen?searchTerm=:newArrivals&searchProduct=

It’s tricky, but I feel that I care enough about being slim to ensure I am.
I workout and I’m careful with my diet so I stay between size 8-10.

The reality is, no one cares what you look like, so you need to either focus on losing the weight or work on shifting your mindset to feel better about yourself.

If you can do both, happy days!

@LapinR0se

I am on the beach in Italy right now. We’re the only British/Irish family, everyone else is Italian or European (German, Austrian etc). There is every conceivable body shape including a lady with an artificial leg. They are all in bikinis or swimsuits having a great time. No one giving a shiny shite about what they look like or covering up or holding their tummies in. It’s brill

I was coming to say the self same thing.

Going to Italy (I am Italian descent) is fab for getting over body issues. Pretty much everyone wears a bikini, fat or thin, scarred, old, young, injured, just letting it all hang out, and no-one gives a damn. It's great, and very, very, good in portraying the reality of bodies in their gory glory.

Covering up, or even wearing a swim suit in Italy is inviting attention. In England the equivalent is dressing up, when everyone else is in swimsuits, so, let it all hang out, and be proud, really, no-one cares.

@Bbq1 I don't know how to do photos on here. Or how to do links! But it's last season so probably not there any more. They have them all the time though, so if you go on the Joe Browns website there'll still be some just in different colours/patterns. They sell the tops and bottoms separately so you can get the right size and the styles mix and match so theres plenty of choice. Mine is aqua and hot pink, sounds awful but looks lovely. Quality fabric not flimsy. I love it because when you're walking along the high street, in a café or sitting in the beach it just looks like clothes so no need to carry cover ups or get changed on arrival/before catching the train home. It's underwired too but looks like a regular vest top on, you don't notice the underwiring only the shape it gives you. Then when you're in the water it doesn't look much different to anyone elses swimsuit. I got matching block heeled jelly shoes from elsewhere, so I don't cut my feet on the shells either but they look like regular sandals. I'm not a serious swimmer so I paddle/swim with them on. This all might sound weird to some but I am a weirdo who has been known to paddle in my trainers and swim in a sundress and undies (as long as I don't mind trashing it) if that's what I happen to be wearing. I can't resist the water.

[quote AmberIsACertainty]@Bbq1 I don't know how to do photos on here. Or how to do links! But it's last season so probably not there any more. They have them all the time though, so if you go on the Joe Browns website there'll still be some just in different colours/patterns. They sell the tops and bottoms separately so you can get the right size and the styles mix and match so theres plenty of choice. Mine is aqua and hot pink, sounds awful but looks lovely. Quality fabric not flimsy. I love it because when you're walking along the high street, in a café or sitting in the beach it just looks like clothes so no need to carry cover ups or get changed on arrival/before catching the train home. It's underwired too but looks like a regular vest top on, you don't notice the underwiring only the shape it gives you. Then when you're in the water it doesn't look much different to anyone elses swimsuit. I got matching block heeled jelly shoes from elsewhere, so I don't cut my feet on the shells either but they look like regular sandals. I'm not a serious swimmer so I paddle/swim with them on. This all might sound weird to some but I am a weirdo who has been known to paddle in my trainers and swim in a sundress and undies (as long as I don't mind trashing it) if that's what I happen to be wearing. I can't resist the water.[/quote]
Thanks, Amber. I'm not a serious swimmer either so it all sounds great to me. I'm heading off to the JB website now

@burnoutbabe

Yes it's odd that only non swim suit wearers are noticed. I just feel it's more modest to wear shorts and vest top rather than affectivly my bra. Each to their own though. I'd not think much of anyone who wears more covered swimsuit.

Plus there's noticed and "noticed" isn't there. I'm happy for people to look twice at my awesome swim-clothes as I stride about with confidence. Less happy to be gawped at by men as I die of embarrassment at being the centre of attention in swim-underwear.

Also I am far more likely to be noticed if I am spending the day tanking my bikini top up or town and digging my bottoms out of my bum.

My outfit is just the female equivalent of men's shorts. No fuss, no drama,no risk of revealing nipples to the world.

(I do wear a proper speedo when swimming, this is more water parks and beaches)

Wearing 'cover up' type clothes makes you look like you are self conscious and you'll stand out for that reason only! I'd think 'shame she can't feel comfortable in a swimsuit' and feel sorry for you! . If you were wearing a swimsuit I wouldn't look once never mind twice!

Why must women wear swimsuits or bikinis? And why is not wearing one mean they feel self conscious?

I'm a size 12 and not in awful shape but bikinis are just too much for me. Aside from the body confidence thing I was always on edge of something falling out/riding up. I've brought a 50s style black and white polka dot costume that has a little frilly skirt thing and it's honestly amazing. I can do everything my partner and sons can without any worry.

A lot of women's clothing always seems like it's trying to prohibit/restrict behaviour, I'm sure that's part of a much larger debate though!

Wear whatever allows you to do what you want to do is my advice.

I'm a size 30 and have started swimming daily to improve my fitness, I'm all tummy and boobs and look like an egg on legs. I've got to the point where I walk freely about in my cossie because actually...no one else really cares! I've got used to doing it now and it's made me a bit more body confident. Seriously the only person who cares what you look like in a cossie is yourself.

And why is not wearing one mean they feel self conscious?

Because they stand out from the crowd.

Personally, I hate the feel of shorts when I am swimming. I’d rather wear nothing and often do. However, it is not appropriate in every situation, so a bikini is the next best alternative.

I think most people feel
Like this .. it's being so exposed ! I am a small hourglass , people are always telling me I have a lovely figure but without clothes on I'm squishy and without clothes on it shows all my imperfections which I'm excellent and covering up .. I'm going on holiday soon and I make myself look the best I can by having my hair , nails and skin looking it's best .. I get a spray tan and look so much better when I'm not white .. failing that I wear surf shorts over my swim wear 🤷‍♀️

I'm 51 and have always been a size 10/12 but I'm now a much wobblier version.

Some days I feel very self conscious, other days I feel just grateful that I'm healthy and happy.

Being peri menopausal doesn't help, finding it practically impossible to lose weight in the same way I used to in my forties.

Seriously the only person who cares what you look like in a cossie is you

Very true.

All this you’ll stand out more stuff isn’t exactly helpful. Just wear what you feel comfortable in but don’t let it stop you from swimming/having fun!

You'll only stand out if you wear sallopettes and ski goggles on a day like today. They were wearing all sorts at our local waterpark from modesty swimwear to skimpy suits.

Find something you like wear that and have fun.

I hate wearing bikinis or swimming costumes and usually wear a sundress: today I wore a swimming costume at the beach but could cry when I see gorgeous figure around me I feel so fat and ugly 😞 my self worth is so caught up in the size I am and what I look like and I don’t know how to sort that out. Would love to be body confident but never have been even when I was 2 stone lighter