Anyone else self conscious abour wearing a bathing suit?

[moita]

Took my kids to a water park today and embarrassingly I was one of the few mums in tshirt and shorts. Purely because I'm ashamed of my body.

I'm not the thinnest and do need to lose weight but I remember being a size 6 (many years ago!!) and still felt ashamed of my body.

I need to get over this and at the age of 35 I want to wear a swimsuit not just for comfort but I'm worried my kids will notice mum's not wearing what other mummies are.

Anyone else feel like this or has words of wisdom?

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If you've found this page in search of swimwear that has been tried and tested by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best swimsuits for women useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

[CrotchetyQuaver]

I've always felt neurotic about this, but honestly when you go, there's people of all shapes and sizes, with lumps bumps and scars wearing their cozzies/bikinis loud and proud without seemingly a care in the world and I realise how silly I'm being about myself. Just do it.

[MoonlightWanderer]

I have really big boobs and very sensitive skin. I’m tired of swimsuits that are too low cut. I just wear men’s trunks and a rash vest. I’m not ashamed of my body. I just can’t be arsed trying to sort out my bikini line anymore. I think more women should embrace the shots snd t shirt look.

[BigWoollyJumpers]

I've only really ever worn bikini's my entire life, unless seriously swimming in an indoor pool, and I can honestly say I have never had a boob slip, or a bum crises. I do buy good bikini's though...... perhaps that is the key. Always proper underwired jobs, and good firm material. Pricey though, and accept not everyone can afford to buy these.

And bikini's are not underwear. None of my underwear looks like a bikini, and my bikini's do not look like underwear. Do we say mens beach shorts look like boxers? No, they look like beach shorts.

[onelittlefrog]

It's a shame that you worry not only about your own body, but also the possibility that your kids would care that you are wearing something different to other people.

There are a whole lot of layers of anxiety to unpick there :(

Truth is, your kids won't give a damn what you're wearing, as long as you're with them and playing with them!

[Susannahmoody]

I have a very serious looking Speedo swimsuit too that's makes me look like I do some very intense open water swimming in my spare time. But it makes me feel oddly confident, like a pp said?

Also, as someone else said, no-one expects women with kids to have amazing bodies so just enjoy yourself and let go.

[itsmeagainagain]

I hate wearing bikinis or swimming costumes and usually wear a sundress: today I wore a swimming costume at the beach but could cry when I see gorgeous figure around me I feel so fat and ugly 😞 my self worth is so caught up in the size I am and what I look like and I don’t know how to sort that out. Would love to be body confident but never have been even when I was 2 stone lighter

[Grimble69]

You'll only stand out if you wear sallopettes and ski goggles on a day like today. They were wearing all sorts at our local waterpark from modesty swimwear to skimpy suits.
Find something you like wear that and have fun.

[Miseryisabutterfly]

All this you’ll stand out more stuff isn’t exactly helpful. Just wear what you feel comfortable in but don’t let it stop you from swimming/having fun!

[BaconAndAvocado]

Seriously the only person who cares what you look like in a cossie is you

Very true.

[BaconAndAvocado]

I'm 51 and have always been a size 10/12 but I'm now a much wobblier version.

Some days I feel very self conscious, other days I feel just grateful that I'm healthy and happy.

Being peri menopausal doesn't help, finding it practically impossible to lose weight in the same way I used to in my forties.

[huuuuunnnndderrricks]

I think most people feel
Like this .. it's being so exposed ! I am a small hourglass , people are always telling me I have a lovely figure but without clothes on I'm squishy and without clothes on it shows all my imperfections which I'm excellent and covering up .. I'm going on holiday soon and I make myself look the best I can by having my hair , nails and skin looking it's best .. I get a spray tan and look so much better when I'm not white .. failing that I wear surf shorts over my swim wear 🤷‍♀️

[coogee]

And why is not wearing one mean they feel self conscious?

Because they stand out from the crowd.

Personally, I hate the feel of shorts when I am swimming. I’d rather wear nothing and often do. However, it is not appropriate in every situation, so a bikini is the next best alternative.

[Mermaidwaves]

I'm a size 30 and have started swimming daily to improve my fitness, I'm all tummy and boobs and look like an egg on legs. I've got to the point where I walk freely about in my cossie because actually...no one else really cares! I've got used to doing it now and it's made me a bit more body confident. Seriously the only person who cares what you look like in a cossie is yourself.

[choccohoopz]

I'm a size 12 and not in awful shape but bikinis are just too much for me. Aside from the body confidence thing I was always on edge of something falling out/riding up. I've brought a 50s style black and white polka dot costume that has a little frilly skirt thing and it's honestly amazing. I can do everything my partner and sons can without any worry.

A lot of women's clothing always seems like it's trying to prohibit/restrict behaviour, I'm sure that's part of a much larger debate though!

Wear whatever allows you to do what you want to do is my advice.

[Dragonn]

Wearing 'cover up' type clothes makes you look like you are self conscious and you'll stand out for that reason only! I'd think 'shame she can't feel comfortable in a swimsuit' and feel sorry for you! . If you were wearing a swimsuit I wouldn't look once never mind twice!

Why must women wear swimsuits or bikinis? And why is not wearing one mean they feel self conscious?

[burnoutbabe]

Also I am far more likely to be noticed if I am spending the day tanking my bikini top up or town and digging my bottoms out of my bum.

My outfit is just the female equivalent of men's shorts. No fuss, no drama,no risk of revealing nipples to the world.

(I do wear a proper speedo when swimming, this is more water parks and beaches)

[AmberIsACertainty]

@burnoutbabe

Yes it's odd that only non swim suit wearers are noticed. I just feel it's more modest to wear shorts and vest top rather than affectivly my bra. Each to their own though. I'd not think much of anyone who wears more covered swimsuit.

Plus there's noticed and "noticed" isn't there. I'm happy for people to look twice at my awesome swim-clothes as I stride about with confidence. Less happy to be gawped at by men as I die of embarrassment at being the centre of attention in swim-underwear.

[Bbq1]

[quote AmberIsACertainty]@Bbq1 I don't know how to do photos on here. Or how to do links! But it's last season so probably not there any more. They have them all the time though, so if you go on the Joe Browns website there'll still be some just in different colours/patterns. They sell the tops and bottoms separately so you can get the right size and the styles mix and match so theres plenty of choice. Mine is aqua and hot pink, sounds awful but looks lovely. Quality fabric not flimsy. I love it because when you're walking along the high street, in a café or sitting in the beach it just looks like clothes so no need to carry cover ups or get changed on arrival/before catching the train home. It's underwired too but looks like a regular vest top on, you don't notice the underwiring only the shape it gives you. Then when you're in the water it doesn't look much different to anyone elses swimsuit. I got matching block heeled jelly shoes from elsewhere, so I don't cut my feet on the shells either but they look like regular sandals. I'm not a serious swimmer so I paddle/swim with them on. This all might sound weird to some but I am a weirdo who has been known to paddle in my trainers and swim in a sundress and undies (as long as I don't mind trashing it) if that's what I happen to be wearing. I can't resist the water.[/quote]
Thanks, Amber. I'm not a serious swimmer either so it all sounds great to me. I'm heading off to the JB website now

[AmberIsACertainty]

@Bbq1 I don't know how to do photos on here. Or how to do links! But it's last season so probably not there any more. They have them all the time though, so if you go on the Joe Browns website there'll still be some just in different colours/patterns. They sell the tops and bottoms separately so you can get the right size and the styles mix and match so theres plenty of choice. Mine is aqua and hot pink, sounds awful but looks lovely. Quality fabric not flimsy. I love it because when you're walking along the high street, in a café or sitting in the beach it just looks like clothes so no need to carry cover ups or get changed on arrival/before catching the train home. It's underwired too but looks like a regular vest top on, you don't notice the underwiring only the shape it gives you. Then when you're in the water it doesn't look much different to anyone elses swimsuit. I got matching block heeled jelly shoes from elsewhere, so I don't cut my feet on the shells either but they look like regular sandals. I'm not a serious swimmer so I paddle/swim with them on. This all might sound weird to some but I am a weirdo who has been known to paddle in my trainers and swim in a sundress and undies (as long as I don't mind trashing it) if that's what I happen to be wearing. I can't resist the water.

[BigWoollyJumpers]

@LapinR0se

I am on the beach in Italy right now. We’re the only British/Irish family, everyone else is Italian or European (German, Austrian etc). There is every conceivable body shape including a lady with an artificial leg. They are all in bikinis or swimsuits having a great time. No one giving a shiny shite about what they look like or covering up or holding their tummies in. It’s brill

I was coming to say the self same thing.

Going to Italy (I am Italian descent) is fab for getting over body issues. Pretty much everyone wears a bikini, fat or thin, scarred, old, young, injured, just letting it all hang out, and no-one gives a damn. It's great, and very, very, good in portraying the reality of bodies in their gory glory.

Covering up, or even wearing a swim suit in Italy is inviting attention. In England the equivalent is dressing up, when everyone else is in swimsuits, so, let it all hang out, and be proud, really, no-one cares.

[Slimmingstar]

It’s tricky, but I feel that I care enough about being slim to ensure I am.
I workout and I’m careful with my diet so I stay between size 8-10.

The reality is, no one cares what you look like, so you need to either focus on losing the weight or work on shifting your mindset to feel better about yourself.

If you can do both, happy days!

[RichTeaCheddars]

This is a different style that could be quite flattering and modest. Had an integrated sarong.

tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/p/Khaki-Palm-Print-Tummy-Control-Swim-Dress/136725203-DarkGreen?searchTerm=:newArrivals&searchProduct=

[LakeShoreD]

Wear what you feel comfortable in, have fun and honestly, no one cares! If that’s a bikini then great, if you’d rather a swim dress then also fine. I have to say your shorts and t shirt sound quite practical for the water park though. I’m usually a tiny bikini on the beach type but I’d probably go board short and t shirt if I was going to one. It’s so easy to get sunburn at those places and no one wants a nip slip or a wedgie on the slides!

[Malin52]

You will be noticed and stand out more wearing tshirt and shorts.

I'm size 18-20 and 45. I swim almost everyday at the beach in a swimsuit. Bikini in summer. No one looks. Why would they? Everyone of every size and age wears swimming attire on the beach

Wearing 'cover up' type clothes makes you look like you are self conscious and you'll stand out for that reason only! I'd think 'shame she can't feel comfortable in a swimsuit' and feel sorry for you! . If you were wearing a swimsuit I wouldn't look once never mind twice!

[burnoutbabe]

Yes it's odd that only non swim suit wearers are noticed. I just feel it's more modest to wear shorts and vest top rather than affectivly my bra. Each to their own though. I'd not think much of anyone who wears more covered swimsuit.