Struggling with aging, I'm 46.

[something2say]

Hi. Can I vent please and ask for people's experiences.

I'm 46. 47 in September. I know it's not that old yet, but it's not 30 anymore, or even 40. I feel like I'm changing.

My lovely clothes are now too tight. I have lots of long sleeved cotton t shirts that cling, but I've developed a roll of fat on my tummy which never used to be there and I feel embarrassed. I've put on 2 stone. I expect I wont fit into my nice dresses very comfortably this summer and wonder if I should give them away. I have two Ghost dresses and dont think I wore them at all last year and may not again.

I exercise every day and have an active job, but I eat too much chocolate. Every day. It would help to stop that I know.

My periods are awry and have been for a few years now. Peri isn't too bad yet, Menopace helps. I dont like wearing g strings anymore as they're uncomfortable but I feel embarrassed if people can see my big knickers outline. My body is changing.

I sometimes think about being almost 47 and ask if I'm sexy anymore. At 50 am I middle aged? I dont know how to be middle aged. I think about diet changes I could make. I used to be hot but now I look a bit dumpy and partly I know I've done it to myself but part of it is aging. I know its shallow and that other things are more important.

In better news, I'm far more peaceful, relaxed and skilled at things with a greater knowledge of what matters. I enjoy my life and consider myself lucky. I've learned.

But can I ask how other people have navigated this stage? Did you make changes? What does it mean to be a woman in her late 40s? And should I give up chocolate?

Sorry for the self indulgence. I hope people understand.

I'm the same I'm 48, almost 49 and have a protruding bottom stomach. I'm a size 14 everywhere, with a flabby stomach. I don't over eat I don't think and work 10 hour shifts 3x days a week. I did have a c section though about 7 years ago and I believe it's left me with a kind of "shelf"

Not 7 years 6 years ago

DH took a photo of me thé other evening which showed I have a turkey neck. It's not pretty

I joined WW when I was 48, and lost 4 stone. I love it, there’s so much support and it opens your eyes to what you’re really eating.

So now I’m slim, but I’m still navigating my ageing hair and face! 😆 But I’m so glad I can wear whatever I like. I’d previously gone up to 13st 4 and felt so dumpy, frumpy and fat. I’m 9st 4 now and feel much better.

I’ve got a plan (I’m in the same boat btw).
Looking at women in their mid 40s and beyond, what makes them look youthful is not the lack of wrinkles and grey hair, it’s the joie de vivre. They’re showing they’re still enthused by ‘stuff’. They choose their clothes carefully, there’s always something quirky, I’m not explaining this very well, but there’s ‘something’. And a big part of that ‘something’ is not giving a great number of fucks, think leather biker jacket and chunky silver jewellery and booking holidays by themselves.
What do you think?

@MacBookHo, how did so much weight loss affect your skin? I am really worried about sagging skin and more wrinkles (see my user name ), but need to lose weight too.

@Stokey

OP I'm the same age as you and could have written your post. I have a terrible snack habit since working from home and can't stop hitting the biscuit jar. I also have developed bad migraines so don't think the fasting diets would work for me as you're meant to eat little and often. I went on a massive migraine elimination diet last year but still didn't lose any weight despite giving up chocolate, alcohol, cheese, crisps and a host of other things. It's so tough but I guess eating better, doing more exercise and maybe some acceptance is the key.

On the peri menopause front, I follow @drmenopausecare on insta who has good tips.

But why should we accept something that is easily fixed with the right hormones? When the perimenopause weight started to creep on, I changed my diet and increased my exercise. Not a single pound shifted until I started taking the HRT. (Well, the right HRT, when I was given the wrong one, I gained even more weight.)

[quote Delatron]@mylovelydd I’m quite close to Oxford. I don’t suppose you would mind DMing me the name of the doctor? With my cancer history I’d really like an good expert in this area. I also like the sound of the testosterone patches. I’m wondering if there is any hope that I can have some oestrogen or if that’s just a no no.

It’s awful that we are supposed to live with debilitating symptoms for years. Most GPS are pretty useless.[/quote]
I know you're close to Oxford, but if you want the details of who I see in London*, I will happily DM them to you. She trained with Marion Gluck who is renowned in this field.

Presently, she is working via video call and Skype.

I saw a noticeable deterioration around 46 but it has continued since then. I'm 48 this year and have a lot of sun spots, jowls and thinning skin. My neck looks dreadful and my eye bags look like they have been permanently fixed on . I've never liked exercise and now that I have to do more to stay the same, I absolutely hate it!

something I did 2 years ago was pay to see a stylist. I won't have surgery or invasive treatments - I'm allergic to too many things - but I went to see this lady and she recommended new clothes and new styles and so many people commented on how amazing I looked, even though I had done absolutely nothing! I realise looking back, that I was in a total rut with my wardrobe and hadn't really tried anything new for about 20 years. If you feel similarly, I would recommend it.

It’s metabolic syndrome that’s causing the weight gain around the middle. I slipped off Keto and went into low carb and five pounds have gone on. So back on Keto properly from today.

I can’t eat the same as twenties and be the same - by a long shot. But I see similarities in my maternal side of family. Slim but decreasing intake as getting older.

@sansucre I didn’t realise that HRT could help with weight loss as well. It makes sense but I’d accepted weight gain as an inevitable thing, different from all the other peri menopause symptoms. Obviously, now you say that, it isn’t!

I really need to look into HRT at some point. I’m not peri yet etc, all the same, but I keep reading bits about it.

It sounds the way to go - why do some not do it? Not sure if there’s debate on it

Some inspirational stuff here. 5'1" 53 and have put on nearly a stone recently. I need to walk more and keep chocolate for weekend. I take Menopace Max, tumeric and evening primrose oil. Those if you who take collagen what are the benefits and which brand do you prefer

I've had a Mirena in for almost 7 years, so until recently no periods. In the last few months I've noticed I have a slight monthly bleed.
The only menopause symptom I've noticed is change in my smell - I need to be much more careful about using deodorant these days!
Of course I'm exhausted, but lockdown, children, job it's only to be expected!
I'm worried that the mirena will mean I miss the opportunity to do anything (like hrt). Do I need to see the doc and get blood tests?

Yes @sansucre that would be great! Thanks. I can get the train to London very easily.

@BlueSkyBlinking

Hormones affect every single cell in our body. Weight gain is not inevitable, but you will gain weight if you continue to eat the way you did when you were longer. As we age, our metabolism slows done. I recall that on average, once you hit your 40s, you will need to eat around 300 less calories a day otherwise the weight will creep on.

@MarshaBradyo

I really need to look into HRT at some point. I’m not peri yet etc, all the same, but I keep reading bits about it.

It sounds the way to go - why do some not do it? Not sure if there’s debate on it

A myriad of reasons. Although there are 38 symptoms of menopause, not every experiences them all, and most certainly not in the same ways.

I think some don't opt for HRT because their symptoms are't severe, others don't want to do it for the fear of getting cancer or putting hormones in their bodies. But you're not really adding anything that wasn't already there. Alternatively, some don't even realise they are perimenopausal, they just think it is stress or the perils of getting older. Additionally, when some tell their doctors abour hot flushes, night sweats and sleepless nights, they are prescribed an anti-depressant instead. I think the fact women are told not to make a fuss coupled with not knowing that they have a right to HRT (see NICE guidelines) makes it easier for women to be fobbed off.

Sometimes, it is as simple as many GPs have little or no interest in menopause and HRT. When I first raised my concerns with my GP, he told this is what happens to women as they age and I needed to get used to it.

Absolutely concur with @sansucre, HRT is the gift that keeps on giving. I had to fight my GP to get it NHS though and at every annual review I get asked if we can discuss 'weaning' me off it...as if, I will take it to my coffin with me!

I lost about 14kg of mummy weight I'd almost accepted, got my energy and my mojo back. There are risks, mostly around breast cancer and everyone should properly assess the risk/reward profile but there are also huge benefits, particularly if you are early meno.

@sansucre I've had the same fobbing off from my GP. She told me I can't be menopausal as my periods would have stopped whereas I kept saying I'm not menopausal but am perimenopausal. It's so frustrating. I've tried again and been referred to another GP who was a bit more sympathetic but is still insisting I go for bloods first. It is just such an uphill battle to get taken seriously.

Any advice on avoiding/reducing matron look?!
I always had good sized pert breast but now they’ve gone up two sizes and seem to stick out sideways! Everything I wear, all I can see is this matron bossom
How can I reduce this naturally?

@Stokey don't let the GP fob you off. Check out the Menopause chat on here for good advice. The NICE guidance is pinned there and I'm pretty sure it says blood tests aren't required for diagnosis of perimenopause. I think there's also advice on Dr Newsom's website about how to talk to GPs who don't get it.

For jowls I have:
Lost 2 stone and this has taken the fat from my lower face
Got a silk n tite LED tightening gadget

Had cheek bone filler to hoist it all up
Had PDO threads 2 years ago, which were pretty good but must have worn off by now.
I also take collagen and have a really good diet.
My jowls are pretty much gone now and they used to be hideous.
I don't know which of the above worked, maybe the combination of them all. I'm 52.

@Whatwouldnanado

Some inspirational stuff here. 5'1" 53 and have put on nearly a stone recently. I need to walk more and keep chocolate for weekend. I take Menopace Max, tumeric and evening primrose oil. Those if you who take collagen what are the benefits and which brand do you prefer

I have a subscription to Absolute Collagen.

I’ve noticed my recurrent knee pain has gone, my nails are a lot stronger, my lower back pain is better, my eyelashes are thicker, the skin on the back of my hands springs back when I pinch it and I think I’m starting to see an improvement in the texture of the skin on my face.

That’s after a month. I also use the serum.

What works for menopausal skin - I have always had great skin, glowing complexion - but it has “turned” dry, wrinkly, dull and crepy.....should I try HRT - or is it too late as I don’t have all of the other dreadful symptoms now?