Help! Jeans emergency

[Bcnamechanger]

Dear dear lovely people of style and beauty (of which I have neither). DH is a man of unique loveliness but has just tumble dried my last pair of jeans that doesn't have a thigh hole of oft-chafedness.

I haven't managed to buy a pair of jeans I like for five years : ergo, I prostate myself and seek aid from the hive mind.

I am short (5'3" on a good day).

I am fat (14 on a good day but I can't remember the last one - let's say 16 so I can breathe/overindulge at Xmas)
I like cotton.
I have an arse a double decker bus would be proud of, but if things fit on the arse they gape at the back of the waist.
I refuse to countenance the possibility that jeans will ever be worth over a hundred quid (is normally day £50 but I'm desperate).
I have no interest in fashion - let's leave the super skinnies to their namesakes, eh?

Please help me with some suggestions so I can do a lightening raid on the (non-London) shops tomorrow and leave with The Bags Of Success.

Levi’s are half price at the moment. I like a 721 style.

Off to the interwebs... Thank you.

www.massimodutti.com/gb/women/collection/trousers-%26-denim/mid-rise-cigarette-jeans-c1887043p9163533.html?colorId=427&categoryId=1887043
. You don’t say where you are or what shape of jeans you are looking for .
I like massimo dutti jeans. I am slim but have a small waist and big thighs . They seem to accommodate that kind of shape well

I’m 5’3 and a size 12 OP

Thank you for the suggestion. I'm in Edinburgh. And I'm fairly sure that if I could speak jeans I'd be able to describe a shape beyond "not super skinny".

Genuinely bamboozled by the types, and not sure what would actually suit me.

Have thighs and arse, narrow schugh back and high waists might be flattering but not when you're so short on the crotch that you can tuck them into your bra!

@LouiseTrees

I've had a wee look and they're not going to keek on the thighs. Thanks for the suggestion. Might still try the Levi shop just to remember what ritual humiliation feels like....

721s are technically a high rise skinny but they aren’t actually skinny at all if you get them in the right size.

M&S and next would be my choices
Am also a size 14/16 and things gape at the waist but I'm 5ft10
Next I have the waist enhancer and the hypercurve
M&S I think are the Lily

@LouiseTrees. Don't think that "the right size" is going to be possible - they don't go quite big enough! Thanks for trying though. Maybe post new year diet (aye right).

The bright young things at work love M&S jeans...

I have several pairs of the next hypercurve ones. Size 14, 5ft3

Not sure on the length, but bum and thigh space in Next and M&S seem ok.
Probably go for next, as they come up shorter (I can get away with standard length in m&S, but need long in Next)

@QueenPaws thought I was onto a winner with the lily from m&s but they're out of stock online. Will give the hazmat shopping experience a try tomorrow to see if they have any.

@Stormblessed do you do petite or standard length?

Ok, next hypercurve are out, at least online - they don't have any online stock in the right size. Bugger.

Have ordered @RunnerDown suggestion of Massimo dutti but they'll be a while (and I'm not holding my breath that they fit).

Will try m&s and next irl tomorrow.

Thanks all

I know H&M might not be your first thought but I am short, a size 12/14ish and live in these

They seem to do them in petite but I am a similar height and just roll the legs up a bit on the standard ones Pretty cheap too which is a bonus, and wash/wear really well.

They were £80 but I've got some Levi curve 810 skinny jeans. They're a really nice fit, not stupidly skinny and have washed really well. They fit really well around the waist.... no gaping and a small degree of stretch.

My previous experience of M&S jeans instore is 101 pairs of skinnies, plus a couple of pair 8s and 20s in alternative styles.
I'd keep looking online, if I were you.

[quote Bcnamechanger]@Stormblessed do you do petite or standard length?[/quote]
The short ones, 14s on the website. Can get away with the petite though they feel a little tighter

Levis 724.
John Lewis stock them

I like GAP jeans. Plenty of styles. Size down though as they run big (even if you're going off your waist measurement).

I'm similar size and bought some new look slim and lift that fit nice, but they are skinny fit.

Thanks all. No joy in physical or online m&s or next. Might try gap but they keep changing the shapes.

Try Principles Isla Jeans. They do a short leg.

I got some nice ones from...Asda!