Just saw a 60 plus woman looking great.

[randomer]

in a dropped waist black dress, black boots, chunky but not ridiculous nice scarf( not frumpy), short funky grey hair. Cross body bag.

I have lost it, if indeed I ever had it and look like a sag of spuds. Yes a sag of spuds. Just that.

To be fair, I think the thread title can be read in two different ways. I did roll my eyes at first - especially after seeing a couple of early responses. But then I read more of the op's posts and changed my opinion.

However if you think the problem lies with having a hangup over words like 'elderly' or 'old' then you are never going to understand why some posters were annoyed. (Not that I am speaking for them - we are not a hive mind.)
Being elderly / old / middle aged is a fact of life. It's when they are used as code for something else that you're likely to find people get pissed off.

Do you know what, there are some absolutely vile people on here.

I don't subscribe to the " you can't say anything now" brigade view. Of course certain terminology is out of date and downright offensive.

But please alert me to the wrong in saying what I did?

Where have I said that seeing a 60 plus woman looking good is a rarity or that women of that age range should wear mob caps ( presumably on top of their short permed hair?)

@IrmaFayLear, thank you...you get it and made me smile.

Do you know what, there are some absolutely vile people on here.

Has someone said something you don’t like? Absolutely vile is very strong.

people seem to be projecting their own hang-ups about the mention of age being inherently negative onto the OP

Yes, if women object to something it’s because they have hang-ups. Where have we heard that before ...

I was the one who used the term hangup. I didn’t necessarily mean that the posters objecting had a hangup about mentioning age themselves.

What I meant is that they leapt straight in with an assumption that the OP in mentioning this woman’s age was being ageist, was using “code” as you say. She clearly wasn’t so that was pure projection. Maybe I didn’t phrase it well, but that is what I meant by a hangup — an unwillingness to simply read a thread like this one as straightforward and uncoded, even after seeing the OP’s actual posts.

Clearly we should be able to say positive things about older women without being told off for mentioning their age.

It isn’t rude to talk about age. In a world that constantly berates us for daring to get older, saying age shouldn’t be mentioned is very much part of the problem IMO.

And to think I used to turn to Style and Beauty because it was gentle and people are nice to each other ...

It seemed pretty clear to me that what OP was saying (or trying to say) was something like, ‘I saw someone who is of a broadly similar age to mine, or maybe slightly older, and I thought she looked great. For whatever reason (age related or not!) I’ve lost my fashion/style mojo. How can I get it back?’

Anyway I’m not going to argue about this. Just coming back on to say to OP that you absolutely can take steps to look after yourself, to look and feel good, and to claim your place in the world with your head held high. Regardless of age, weight, height, body shape or attractiveness level.

Thank you @HollyandIvyandallthingsYule

Guess what...its possible to have more than one thing going on at a time?

To be (a) feeling a little low and short on sparkle
(b) see somebody who stood out and decide to float the observation on a forum to see what came up.

and Yes the tone is vile from some, completely unecessary.

So if you complain and they remove the question which makes it harder for them to risk assess and develop research will it have been worth it?

I think one of the reasons people get twitchy when agree is mentioned on S&B is be it's so often used as a pejorative. Or people are in horror of looking older. I love seeing people of all ages rocking a look and those with more practice often do it the best 😁

age! not 'agree' FFS

@TopCatlivedinadustbin

people seem to be projecting their own hang-ups about the mention of age being inherently negative onto the OP

Yes, if women object to something it’s because they have hang-ups. Where have we heard that before ...

Right OK

The thing I described as a hang-up was actual ageism in the form of default assumptions about the OP’s meaning. As I’ve tried to clarify. And I actually said “people”, so no need to sneakily paraphrase me as if I was making a specifically sexist remark

Your entire purpose here seems to be to pour scorn on a positive thread created to highlight older women looking great ... because you think the OP’s thread title was “shit” just because it dared to mention age.

I wish we could just have nice threads

Dont understand a word of this now.Back in the kitchen with my smock and mob cap.Maister'll be wanting his vitals soon.

Lol

If you want my opinion op - I'm not sure who exactly is in this brigade of which you speak so you may not - then I would say that watching what people wear and taking note is the most important thing of all. It sounds like you do that already so you're halfway there and the next step is just to go out and try stuff. Which of course isn't easy to do at the moment of course but that's basically it (in my opinion). Next time you get the chance, look for some drop waist dresses, chunky scarves or anything else you've seen that's made an impression, and see how they look on you.

A smattering of knowledge about body shape is useful but personally I wouldn't go overboard. It's not a science and it sounds like you have good instincts so I would trust them and just have a go, especially with things you don't normally wear. Don't worry about getting it wrong because you most certainly will sometimes. The best dressed people make mistakes all the time. It's how you learn.

It definitely wasn't me, I look like I've been dug up at the moment.

For god sake - life is too short for all this bitching and bickering. I'm old - I can't deny it and it happens to us all. we certainly don't go backwards, getting younger every year - despite the best efforts of some people.

Having said that I am very aware of ageism and will quickly jump on people making ageist comments. But I also know what's not ageist

What is wrong with talking about well dressed stylish older women - I'd certainly like to learn from their example because I think older people have got a wealth of experience to pass on after all who shopped at Biba and had haircuts at Vidal Sassoon, to name a few icons of style.

I've not seen anyone being "absolutely vile" on this thread (including the OP) but then I don't have a problem with women challenging or disagreeing with each other in a non aggressive manner.

And I actually said “people”, so no need to sneakily paraphrase me as if I was making a specifically sexist remark

I think it's a fair assumption that the posters on this thread are women.

Fgs. Of course it’s a fair assumption. But you chose your wording to make it look as if I was making a distinction I didn’t make.

You came on the thread to make a dig and now you’re cherry-picking bits of posts without bothering to engage with anything thoughtful. I don’t really get what you’re trying to achieve.

Apologies for getting drawn into the bickering OP. Fwiw I enjoyed the non-derailed bits of this thread and I think it’s a shame you got flack for it, there’s nothing wrong with it at all.

Well, this particular 60 year old does not look great! I just wore a thin vest under a cardi (Primark - but it is a lovely red) and only eye brow pencil, mascara and red lippie. It was going to be a clear up at home day but I needed to use the internet at work. Once there they nabbed me to work the afternoon due to illness (tbf they had tried to ring me!), so I am not looking as together as I should!

My mum looks wonderful. She is 56. So stylish. She can really make anything look good. I don't know what it is but she always looks fab. She's in great shape, 5ft 5, size 8-10, yoga teacher so very fit.

Sigh.

The people who purport to be so anti-ageist are often the ones who pick out examples of older women who look great - but nothing like the majority of women - thus setting an unrealistic bar which makes normal older women feel crap.

Some women are lucky in that they retain “thick wavy hair” (often cited) and have thin legs and arms. But even the most active and healthy older women start to have thinning hair and slacker skin, not to mention a more “rounded” appearance that is nothing to do with being overweight. That’s normal .

My cousin has hair weaves and extensions due to permanent chemotherapy hair loss. She goes to a place favoured by A listers - nearly all the older actresses are not sporting just their own hair but have bits sewn in to make it look thicker. Yet I have seen on here, “Don’t be ageist: X looks fantastic and she’s 65...” but X has a hair weave and has had no end of surgery.

My idea of someone who looks great, at any age, is someone with great style. Who puts clothes together well, eccentrically or distinctively. Not their size or how 'youthful' they look.