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How to not look middle aged

993 replies

Justtakeatowel · 17/06/2020 19:30

I've seen a few pictures of my recently and I look frumpy. I don't mind looking my age (mid 40s) but I just look uurgh.

I've started curly girl and I think curly hair ages me loads! Where do I need to buy from to make myself a bit more with it? I've a tendency to buy cheap supermarket stuff which I think isn't always cut the best and I'm willing to spend a bit more.

I'm 5 ft 7 and 9 stone 9 if that makes a difference but a definite apple and have a bit of a belly which I think adds to the frumpiness

Thanks!

OP posts:
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36
Kitty2018 · 28/06/2020 20:27

@ Fidgety31
I think this is the look you mean? Agree it is ubiquitous and the fact that I quite like it proves I am definitely middle aged 😂😂😂

How to not look middle aged
LoeliaPonsonby · 28/06/2020 20:30

@Fidgety31

I think the most aging look at the moment is women in maxi dresses with white trainers and a biker jacket. Seems to have become the new mumsy looking uniform .

Style and fashion ain’t the same thing, necessarily.

stellakent · 28/06/2020 20:37

I quite like that look but can't carry it off very well as I'm not tall and skinny enough! It might not be the height of fashion but it's far less ageing in my view than some of the things my fellow 50 somethings wear.....

I think it's important to have some individuality at any age. I hate the clone look - like all the Styled By Susie people wearing jumpsuits and chunky white trainers. I have a lot of admiration for Susie herself but I think some of her stylists lack imagination and are guilty of churning out clones.

Alsohuman · 28/06/2020 20:38

Style and fashion ain’t the same thing, necessarily

They most definitely aren’t. And you can’t acquire style, you’ve either got it or you haven’t.

PickAChew · 28/06/2020 20:43

No amount of make up can be a substitute for early nights, not eating late, good sleep, plenty of organic fruit on an empty stomach (looking after our guts by eating fresh salads with an olive oil\lemon dressing) every day.

No smoking , only a very little good red wine, certainly not every day!

Ugh, I'll cheerfully stick with a little haggard and accepting that I could never wear a white pleated skirt without reminding myself of my gran.

LoeliaPonsonby · 28/06/2020 20:45

@Alsohuman

Style and fashion ain’t the same thing, necessarily

They most definitely aren’t. And you can’t acquire style, you’ve either got it or you haven’t.

See, I think you can. Some people are effortlessly stylish, but us mere plebs can learn. It takes effort, knowing what works for you, what bits of fashion you can use and which you’re going to give a wide berth from.

I think the Styled by Suzie and blog clones are so popular because they remove a lot of the thought processes, the worry of getting it wrong. Sort of like getting dressed by numbers. Like buying a Golf for a car. Not original and maybe not even the best car for you but no one’s going to judge you for it.

Alsohuman · 28/06/2020 20:52

I think you can get better at it, for sure, but I think you have to be stylish to start with. I don’t believe in “effortless” style. It’s caring and considering detail and not making obvious choices that make someone stylish.

Terralee · 28/06/2020 21:57

What's wrong with liking fashion? I enjoy buying clothes that are in fashion.

I would never wear a pleated midi skirt in my life though.

The items I'm struggling with at present are jeans.
I went to buy a pair of mom jeans at River Island & they were far too long! And all their other jeans were on the floor when I held them up!
But as I'm just over 5'3" I'm just about too tall for Petite ranges.
So I can wear Ankle Grazers (regular length) from Dorothy Perkins & F&F at Tesco. But as soon as they're out of fashion I'm in trouble!!
However I have now found a nice Polish lady seamstress who alters clothes but it's only really worth paying to have more expensive jeans altered.
Plus you can't try jeans on at present & I can only afford one pair at a time.... hmmm first world issue I know...

LoeliaPonsonby · 28/06/2020 22:04

Fair point re:effortless. I guess I mean people who have been considering the details and thinking about it for so long, it becomes second nature.

Mawbags · 28/06/2020 23:02

I just read the excellent article recommended by @Alsohuman

Managed to copy it...

  1. Be open-minded
It’s easy to dismiss something you haven’t worn before as not for you. It may not be, but then again… Refreshing your look is precisely that: adding in elements that are new to you. As long as something works with your body shape, frame size and colouring, there aren’t any no-go’s. My advice is to revisit your opinions. It often takes me time to embrace a new trend. I sit with it a while, by which I mean as long as a year, even two. If it’s still around and it’s still catching my eye, I give it a go, having had a proper scope out in a full-length mirror first, of course. (If you don’t own one already, this is the most important fashion purchase you will ever make.)
  1. Embrace athleisure
For example, I have never met a woman who wouldn’t look great in a pair of smart track pants and a tailored jacket. I have met plenty who think they wouldn’t, but they are wrong.
  1. Go for bright lips and strong shades
If you do one thing (or two), it should be this. Find your look-lifting go-to’s, the elements that transform what you see in the mirror and what everyone else sees when they look at you. It might be a great pair of sunglasses. It might be a great necklace or pair of earrings. (No need to spend much money. H&M is a good source for both.) It might be a bright lipstick – I like MAC’s Amplified range (£17.50; maccosmetics.co.uk). What’s key is to avoid being too sensible. Because sensible is boring. And you are not.
  1. Getting noticed is good
Often, when you make a change to your appearance or the way you dress, it gets commented upon by people who know you. This is not a bad thing. In fact, it is a good thing. You are being seen. Embrace it.
  1. Loosen up your hair
“Helmet hair” that doesn’t move is hair that hasn’t moved with the times. It’s one of the single most dating things one can do. Instead, think loose layers and, if you are a fan of the hairdryer, not so much blowout as blown in the wind.
  1. Ditch the handbag
There is nothing more ageing than carrying a bag in your hand these days. Hands-free is the only way. Go for a cross-body bag. Try J&M Davidson’s Pebble (£650; jandmdavidson.com). I have had mine for years. Or you might be ready for a belt bag or even – sacré bleu! – a phone bag. (Bandolier’s are the choice of the more mature members of the fashion pack.)
  1. Dial down a smart work uniform
You need to ensure your smart doesn’t appear uptight, so avoid fabrics and cuts that stifle. Look for edge, in the form of colour and pattern, unusual fabrics or athleisure detailing (zips ’n’ stuff). And try not to look too try-hard.
  1. Go OTT on jewellery
It might be lots and lots that’s small and layered, in the form of a so-called “neckmess” (necklaces) or “curated ear” (multi-piercings). Or it might be less that’s more (think big and bold). Either way, this is what jewellery means for front-rowers in their forties, fifties and beyond. It works.

Anna Murphy

Railingsohno · 28/06/2020 23:07

Interesting article, lots I’d agree with but more rules to follow Hmm and wtf “curated ear” - what wankery is this?! Grin

mammmamia · 28/06/2020 23:08

I can’t believe Veja are still being recommended, all the posh school mums around here have been wearing them for 2 years

Littlepurpleflower · 28/06/2020 23:09

If we are not to wear vejas, what do we wear instead?

Railingsohno · 28/06/2020 23:19

Of course you can wear Vejas. This thread is getting ridiculous again! Hmm

Railingsohno · 28/06/2020 23:23

Vegas are pretty classic these days it I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I don’t have any as I’ve heard they’re really uncomfortable. For comfort, I prefer Stan Smiths, converse, Vans and I might get some Nike Blazer they’ve got a cool vintage look I like.

Just wear what you fancy!

Railingsohno · 28/06/2020 23:24

Vejas not Vegas obviously Grin

crumpet · 28/06/2020 23:44

I have been wearing cotton superga for almost 30 years, and also have some leather vejas, which I have found very comfortable.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 29/06/2020 00:38

I don't think 'Middle aged' is a look, it's a frame of mind. I'm 47, I look like ME. I've always looked like me.

How to not look middle aged
Railingsohno · 29/06/2020 01:03

@ILikeyourHairyHands

I don't think 'Middle aged' is a look, it's a frame of mind. I'm 47, I look like ME. I've always looked like me.
I agree. You look fabulous btw. Great skin and love your hair 💗
ILikeyourHairyHands · 29/06/2020 01:12

Thanks! The skin's a strange one as I've smoked for more than 30 years. I do eat a very varied diet though. I do think that's key.

And the hair does it's own thing!

GrimDamnFanjo · 29/06/2020 01:24

@Railingsohno I have curated ears! And I am so not cool! I got my first cartilage piercing midforties and since then have four more, all carefully positioned with lovely earrings.
My piercer advises what will work best... hankering for another...

Railingsohno · 29/06/2020 09:01

@GrimDamnFanjo Grin I think it looks good but to call it curated (like a museum collection) is hilarious

ppeatfruit · 29/06/2020 09:58

Yeuch with the perforated look at ANY age!!!!! Oh and the great majority of Tatts are effin' horrible, they do nothing for most people. Going about with permanent bluey "works of art" on their body is not my idea of style.

There'll be a lot of sad, regretful people in 10 or 20 years who (like my ex brother in law) can't have their tatts removed properly and are left with nasty scars.

thebabessavedme · 29/06/2020 10:01

just when I think I've cracked it I now have to start 'curating' my fucking ears, back to the drawing board then! Grin

ArtieFufkinPolymerRecords · 29/06/2020 11:06

@mammmamia

I can’t believe Veja are still being recommended, all the posh school mums around here have been wearing them for 2 years
I don't understand what you are saying. Should people only recommend/wear things that are not popular with others? Why would wearing Vejas (that most people who are not into fashion at all have never heard of) make you look middle-aged?
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