Hair - how important is your partner’s opinion?

[Livingoncake]

I ask be I have the chance to get my head shaved for a charity event my work will be hosting soon. I really want to do it. I have a full-time career and 3 young children, and I feel that getting rid of my hair would give me one less thing to do each day.
DH has said he’d rather I not do it. I can understand this - a shaved head would probably be a shock, at least at first. I am disappointed though. So, thoughts? To what extent, if any, do you consider your partner’s opinion/preferences when getting your hair done?

My DH in his youth had long scruffy hair and an ugly arse beard. He knew that neither were to my liking. Yes, I did still see him and it didn't affect feelings of love, but I have to be honest, I didn't think it was attractive. Ultimately, what you do with your own hair is your own business, but people can't really help what they find attractive or not and if a person deliberately chooses to do something they know their partner finds unappealing, then they can't feel put out if the partner doesn't fancy them.
It is different to illness. A person whose appearance alters through no fault of their own, isn't conveying the message to their dp that they don't care enough to make an effort to be attractive for them. And I do believe that when faced with illness people's priorities change and they are maybe less shallow about what constitutes 'attractiveness'. Also, it's entirely subjective. For some people things like hair have absolutely no bearing on how attracted they are to their partner and for them attractiveness hinges on other things.

Nah, it doesn’t seem worth it. I might love it for an afternoon, but then I know I’d start obsessing over DH’s feelings about it. I’m just going to let it go.

I realise some people aren’t fans of the charity thing. I wasn’t actually asking about that, but since it came up:

1. I work in a school, so these sorts of charity “events” are a thing. They raise far more money this way than if they were to just pass a bucket around, so it seems they’re here to stay, despite the misgivings of some.
2. as it’s a school thing, I’ll be contributing to the staff donations anyway, hair or no hair.
3. I might not have thought of shaving my head had the charity event not been announced. The announcement led to me thinking “Mmm, shaved head, wouldn’t that be great”. That’s what led me to this conundrum.

But anyway, as I said, I’ve decided against it. Thanks again.

Leaving aside the charity aspect, you could try having a really short haircut and seeing how you feel. It's not as extreme as going completely bald but does fulfill your wish for low maintenance hair (apart from regular haircuts).

What my husband thinks of my appearance is important so I would never do this. My hair costs me £100 plus a month. It's a pain to
Maintain but I would look ugly without it

"I’d start obsessing over DH’s feelings about it"

How is your relationship generally?

I second PP's suggestion of a pixie cut (if that's what they are still called?) When I started losing my hair my hairdresser advised me to cut it as the weight of it (I had lots of hair!) wasn't helping but I couldn't face doing it in one go so went to mid back>bob>pixie in stages. I liked the pixie cut and would have kept it if I could. It might be a good compromise but your comment about obsessing about your DH's thoughts are a trifle worrying.

PS I hope I didn't put you off with my bald alien comments! I didn't mean to be insensitive.