What clothing, make up, or hair style makes you look older?

[Mackerz]

I’m 40 and my mum has just told me that I’m at the age where I should have a cropped hair cut. I personally think this will add about 20 years on to me. I have dark brown hair, wavy, below shoulders and I have some lighter highlights around my face and parting. I wear it down and wavy, straightened with a bit of a kick at the ends or tied back in a loose bun at the nape of my neck with some of the front falling out. I’m lucky that it’s still thick and I keep it well conditioned.

I like to follow trends but adapt them to my age, so for example I will wear mini skirts but I’ll wear them with tights and boots.

Are there any things that people think are a dead giveaway for age - clothes, makeup or hair?

Sorry that the waterfall cardies are following you around now OP, I think that was my fault.

I'm 45, live in London, work in a fairly young sector. Old enough not to care very much about what other people think about what I wear, but have no desire to look dated or more middle aged than I am.

Mum jeans/wide leg/barrel shape/high waist actually very 'in' around here, skinnies are still hanging around, but not as ubiquitous as they once were. Worn with Veja trainers, or chunky flats, Saltwaters or Birkenstocks in the summer, clothing usually from COS/ARKET/&OtherStories/Whistles/John Lewis. Nothing overtly 'designer' or super fashionable, just well cut stuff that will last.

Short hair, long hair, who cares, as long as it suits your face. I love having short hair, but it doesn't work with my peri-menopausal lack of jawline, so I compromise with low maintenance bob. Looking forward to being completely grey, but currently a bit of a meh salt and pepper so bleach is the answer. Cat eye eyeliner or red lips, never both, lightweight waterbased tinted moisturiser, to try and fake a youthful glow, nothing too matte, bit of blush, healthy brows (Nez Hasan good for microblading if anyone is considering it - makes a world of difference).

All of the above makes me feel good, but hiking boots and straight leg jeans and sensible fleeces make some of my oldest and dearest friends feel good, I definitely don't judge them for it.

Wow @FeckOffGraham. Now I know what you think of me, a frivolous, not genius, long haired pwincess.
Dr ConfusedMaybe

And I think more men than women suit short hair because they tend to have more angular faces with usually square jawlines.

Most men my age are overweight and have nothing like a square jawline

Shall we bash middle aged men a bit, to give us a break from bashing ourselves?

confused

Eh? I was talking about the journalist who wrote the article for the Daily Mail. I have no idea who you are and you could be bald for all I know .

As I've repeatedly said, but to be clear, again, this time in bold, many women suit long hair, many woman choose to wear it just because they love it and good for them. There is no age limit on long hair. Wear it, if you love it and it genuinely suits you, wear it even if it doesn't suit you. You do you hun and all that. Just don't make ridiculous sweeping statements like that short hair is ageing, too sensible, like you've let yourself go. That was my point. Jeez, I've been rambling on long enough, I'm amazed that I could've been misunderstood- surely I've covered everything by now .

Is that clearer now confused? Enjoy your long hair confused, I'm sure you look wondrous with it !

Indeed chickeny. My male acquaintances are sadly not the chiselled jaw variety .

God I had so many people asking what my husband thought when I had my hair cut off mid twenties. 🙄 It suits me so much better. I've had varying clipped side, more extreme cuts through to classic pixies. I tried growing it out recently but didn't last long.

I find it was easier than long, it was always much of a muchness without a lot of styling so I always tied it back anyway. 🤷

I think well cut hair is the key more than anything else.

I should say that I'm fairly tall and quite plump at the moment and don't feel at all masculine. I feel much neater, have more style personality etc with a short crop

@LHReturns

Those cowboy boots are great. I’m going to see if office/dune etc have something similar for cheaper.

I think automatically cutting your hair short at 40 is old fashioned but your mum is probably of the princess diana blow dry era (never looked as good on those who couldn’t afford a daily blow dry ).

Just do what suits you. I’m mid 40s and went for a crop when I was 25, didn’t suit me then and was actually higher maintenance than shoulder length - which is usually fine as long as you keep it trimmed and conditioned. At least you can tie shoulder length back on a no fuss day.

Just going to put this here....

That last pic reminded me of this one. A beauty with shorter hair.

Some people do look fantastic. Not all so the rule is silly, but most people sound like they’ve worked out their style and what suits them.

Face Make up without a primer, and shorter hair ages me. Clothing I don’t think matter if you wear it well.

I cut my hair short at near 30 and I now do not get carded when I use to allllll the time. I’m glad I look my age now though I suppose

43 - i am currently letting my hair grow (gingerish and pretty curly) - so much for chopping the hair

aging on me is make up, eye liner, mascara. I look better with less on. moisturiser, some blusher and lipstick.

oh, and I need to draw my eye brows own after years of overplugging. that helps the most!

Indoor scarfs are apparently very ageing! According to another thread 🤣

I'm 41. Last week I got told that I don't look any older than 34. I have bum length blonde hair extensions. I wear eyeliner and mascara with lip gloss and don't wear much other makeup even going out out. I enjoy wearing mini skirts and knee high boots and I don't look old or like mutton dressed as lamb in them. Monday evening I popped out for a couple of hours wearing a black leather mini skirt, knee high boots and a pale pink fitted jumper. I felt fab and got chatted up by a 35 year old man.
Hair shorter than shoulder length, midi skirts and flat shoes age me because they make me feel frumpy. Foundation makes me look older because I naturally have good skin. Lack of sleep can make me look 10 years older than I usually look though.
I think how you wear clothes affects whether you can carry it off or not. If you mentally feel old then you look ridiculous in short skirts and knee high boots with a low cut top. If you stay up to date with fashion but only follow trends which flatter you it naturally will always keep you looking fresh and younger than if you stick with out of date hair and make up.
Oh, I think barely black tights should be banned on anyone under the age of 55.

I agree with you feckoffgraham.
And the pp who mentioned dressing for the male gaze. (was that also you??)
It comes down to the question, who are you dressing for? For yourself? For other women? Or for men?
If "comfortable shoes" are ageing, is the alternative to wear only uncomfortable shoes? Should we also bind our feet??
Maybe these women of a certain age have suddenly found themselves free from the constraints of wearing "what men like" , and are finally dressing for themselves.
Some women have this gift at any age obviously, the lucky things!

Margitshypo yes that is why Toast and Cos are popular with some middle aged women

I quite like Toast and Cos (DH not so impressed by the soviet librarian vibe... i guess I dress for men then or comfort. Depending on the day )

I look be my pixie short hair, but it has taken me over 2 years to grow it into a jaw length bob.

I am very round, I am the fashion list of why people are supposed to avoid pixies. The only downside is it needs cutting every 4 or 5 week and it costs a fortune, hence growing it out!

I LOVE the description "soviet librarian vibe" and it makes me want to look like that even more! :o I like the cocoon-shaped look you can get at cos, but sadly it doesn't look right on me, I'm pear shaped and things with a waist look much better. Most things from cos just make me look like a strange lumpy barrel :(

But definitely yes to not giving a shit about the male gaze. I actually do still fancy men and wouldn't mind attracting a nice one, but my view is I'm sifting out all the shallower ones and if some rare bloke does like my no-shits, short-haired attitude then he's probably a better bet.

Gosh I envy people who don't care. It must be SO liberating.
I am withered making sure I look 'right'. And you may ask for whom but it's for me, it's the way I'm made. I hate not looking what I perceive as 'well'. But it's an extra job for me. It's a pain sometimes. Hence my envy for those that don't give a toss.

Anyway. That's an aside. I absolutely hate this assumption that looking 'old' is a bad thing. Like PPs have said it's just another stick to beat us with. Just stop it.
FWIW I have never met anyone - and I see many people every day and I always have their date of birth - that I didn't age correctly to within a year or 2. No matter what their clothes, make up, hair, botox, surgery etc.

I'm not even sure anymore whether I dress for a male gaze, or just in what suits me. I generally wear what I want. Today I committed the Mumsnet double sin of leggings and long black uggs, because I have had very little sleep, with a black polo neck, because no energy to think about it. I wore my giant faux fur cocoon shaped coat because it's soft, and again so comfortable. Yet I still got male attention, but I don't think I was dressed for it. Just because a middle aged woman seems to attract the male gaze doesn't mean that was her intention.
Also if it is her intention, I don't see what's wrong with that. I don't see how it makes a woman that wants male attention lacking in any way
I wish more men would dress in a way that I find attractive, quite frankly

I don't dress not for it - I just wear what appeals to me and I like the look of. And of course that's influenced by socialisation and everything to whatever degree, and I don't mind if a man fancies me or likes my clothes, at all. But I do know that what I like - short hair, combat boots, fashiony dresses etc - is not what men typically go for, and I'm OK with not prioritising what might make me attractive to men.

I genuinely am happier if a woman admires what I'm wearing, than a man.

I don't care about looking older. I am getting older - it's fine, I'm happy about it and there are many many positives from it.

There is a fair amount of casual ageism and sexism on this thread, and in some cases, bitchiness and snide-iness, which really isn't necessary or in fact sisterly. We can exchange tips or advice in a positive way - but actually wear what you want, accept you could actually (shock horror) look your age, and, dress for yourself.

Since when you do you read about men being accused of looking their age, or (god forbid) looking frumpy! Frumpy is a word reserved for women. And, on this thread, being used by women. We can only change things if we change our mindset as well. How can we expect men to stop all this stuff if we don't stop it ourselves.

Rant over.

That said, I think (and I am very interested) in looking my best. And for me that's about wearing what makes you feel good. Because if you feel good, you look better. By this age the advantage we have is that we know what suits us. We know what season we are (because we're cliches) - so I won't wear orange or brown now because i know not to. We also have confidence of not caring what people think. It's great.

I love buying clothes, I do make mistakes sometimes, but mostly if I stick to wearing what suits me and what makes me feel good, I do ok. I get compliments mostly from women (and that's not a stealth boast honest) which mean more to me than the menz anyway and I dress for myself.

So I do wear short skirts -because they suit me, and I don't buy into the whole sexist mutton-dressed-as-lamb thing. I don't wear them with sheet tights or high heels, but I wouldn't in my 20s either. I don't wear maxi dresses because they look like tents on me (and in fact most people who wear them imo) and I have long hair because I like it. (I made the mistake of having a bob once...). But I think it's a case of finding what suits you and wearing it and being confident. so Op, take the advice of your mum by all means, but ignore the age-ist claptrap.

I think the “mistake” people make is not changing their styling as time passes - fashions change and they age. There are some people who stick to a haircut that they think suits them for decades. It’s usually the haircut from when they were 25-30, which has now dated massively and doesn’t work so well with thinner, greyer hair and an older face. Men seem particularly prone to this. Similar for make up and jeans styles.