What clothing, make up, or hair style makes you look older?

[Mackerz]

I’m 40 and my mum has just told me that I’m at the age where I should have a cropped hair cut. I personally think this will add about 20 years on to me. I have dark brown hair, wavy, below shoulders and I have some lighter highlights around my face and parting. I wear it down and wavy, straightened with a bit of a kick at the ends or tied back in a loose bun at the nape of my neck with some of the front falling out. I’m lucky that it’s still thick and I keep it well conditioned.

I like to follow trends but adapt them to my age, so for example I will wear mini skirts but I’ll wear them with tights and boots.

Are there any things that people think are a dead giveaway for age - clothes, makeup or hair?

Those very thick-stripy bleach highlights on much darker hair underneath.

LHReturns what are mum jeans? High waisted? Skinny? I wear mostly skinny jeans (with knee high boots when it's cold, oops!), but have no idea if they are deemed frumpy or not these days.

very dark eye makeup ages me, i need to go for medium browns, greys or lighter and no eyeliner these days

What are elasticated knee high boots?

Skinny jeans are always fine - it's all I wear too. To me mum jeans are high-waisted and a bit loose, and possibly taper in or very straight towards the ankle. Kind of nothing jeans...unidentifiable. Just 'jeans'. There is a mum-jean fashion around at the moment but unless you are Kaia Gerber or my 16 year old stepdaughter they look beyond awful.

OP do you remember those elasticated knee high boots that the Duchess of Sussex used to wear - they calf bit is stretchy and they are 'pull on'. Simply awful on everyone. Hugely passé and ageing.

I meant the Duchess of Cambridge used to wear the elasticated boots!

Personal experience only - I once thought it would be a good idea to cover my grey hairs by dying my hair black (natural colour is brown) - it made me look 20 years older! Fortunately the supposedly permanent dye I'd used washed out within 10 days.

Do you mean this sort of thing re: boots. LHR?
www.boden.co.uk/en-gb/round-toe-stretch-boots-navy/sty-a0506-nav?cat=C1_S2_G11

That is exactly what I mean - shudder.

Btw I live in central London and work in fashion so my views should not be taken seriously, or cause any offence. I love fashion and love the OP's question. None of it really matters though.

I think it's more about not updating your look from 10+ years ago. So the super thin eyebrows that were fashionable when you were mid-20s are now only found on 40+ woman, therefore look 'aging'.

Agree thick make up that sits in wrinkles is aging. (I need a non-wrinkle sitting under eye conceler as my Estee Lauder one is making me look worse, not better - suggestions welcome!)

But aren’t those the boots that are supposed to look good with the new style midi skirts? Am confused now.

Waterfall cardigans!

The question was prompted by some comments my mum has made recently but also by a photo I saw on Facebook last night. It was of a group of women I went to school with - all with short low maintenance hair, mum jeans and baggy tops. All are overweight though, it looks like they’ve just given up. They all look 10 years older than they actually are and look like my mum seems to think I should look.

Well LHR although I pretend not to care, I do care a little bit so a few pointers are useful!

I have always liked fashion but as I have got older (now mid 50s) feel v confused about what to wear and end up just wearing skinny jeans most of the time, especially as I am semi-retired, currently combining being a carer for my DH and working part-time from home. I really do miss getting a bit dressed up for work.

@LHReturns

I wonder if there is a difference depending on where you live too. I live in Manchester and work in quite a young industry, I need to stay relatively young looking to make myself employable.

I think it's more about not updating your look from 10+ years ago. So the super thin eyebrows that were fashionable when you were mid-20s are now only found on 40+ woman, therefore look 'aging'.

I so wish I hadn't over plucked mine when I was younger!

Posted before editing...

The photo on Facebook of a group of my former classmates - they all still live in the grim northern town where I grew up.

On the boots with midi skirts question - I love this look but would always err towards the slightly ruched / slouchy boot if possible. Couple photos attached to give idea.

Boots that are cut like Isabel Marant boots are a very good and safe guide if that helps?

@ghostofharrenhal

I think there are treatments like microblading you can have to fill them in? I was blessed with a thick mono brow so no amount of plucking ever made them thin! So my brows were unfashionable in the 90s. They are still thick and natural looking, although I got rid of the mono bit. I just have them shaped and tinted once a month. I do dislike this stick on brow look that is common amongst younger girls though.

The DoS wears Aquatalia boots no? I imagine it's because they are super-comfy and last forever. I have these for shopping or anything that involves walking (as opposed to hiking).

I also love a brooch: I collect high-end antique ones .... but I confess I am middle-aged.

Personally I think it's

bootcut jeans
fleeces (for anything other than car washing)
overly dyed block-colour hair (including 'wacky' purple)
shimmery lipstick

.. but hey each to their own.

Yes very helpful, LH, thanks. I can see how the texture of the boots updates the ‘midi’ look.

@wink1970

Yes the wacky purple. Goes back to the 1990s and the comments about not updating your look as you age.

ghostofharrenhal I completely understand. I am about to turn 44 and have a 5 year old and 2 year old so really struggle to not feel like a hag without some kind of 'uniform' which I feel good in.

If this is helpful at all - when I am not in workout gear, then my school run uniform is:

• skinny jeans by Paige or AG Jeans
• white Jacksonville t-shirt by American Vintage (either V neck or U neck)
• beaten studded belt
• Isabel Marant ankle boots with cone heel or

my new pair of Golden Goose cowboy boots

• finally the most important bit - a very well cut jacket (either McQueen black crepe blazer with sleeves rolled, or Balmain-esque leather jacket with pointed shoulders, or military style jacket that looks like a brand called Off White). All my jackets have structure and proper shoulders.