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How can I update my look?

151 replies

Ruby789 · 23/02/2019 11:47

I look best in dresses, specifically block colours in bright primary colours done (jewel winter). Shapes that pretend to have a waist, or allow me to add one (a-line, sundress, tea, slip, wrap, sheath). Hem line is best 3 inches above the knee (maxi, midi, on the knee make me look short and dumpy). Fabrics like silk, satin, chiffon, velvet, thin knit, cotton, polyester (but not not linen, corduroy, tweed, chunky knit). Nothing loose or baggy nor clingy. Jewellery is ideally small and dainty, can wear bigger earrings in the evening and long necklaces are better than short ones. Make-up is generally like Alison Brie, but with a bright lip. Hair is trying to be like the Duchess of Cambridge but darker and no highlights (and I can’t get that shine and bounce). I wear cardigans (left open) with everything, but look much slimmer in a fitted collarless blazer (feel self-consciously too formal?). I do wear jeans and a top on weekends, typically with a silk cami or a slim knit jumper and I don’t look overdressed next to someone in a basic t-shirt. Odd as it sounds I make casual clothes look like pyjamas so have to dress everything up a bit. I’m rectangular/8 shape, biggest on the high hip.

I wanted to simplify everything and stop buying things that don’t suit me. And I’ve succeeded, but now have a new problem. I look so samey and a bit 90’s. I think because of the block primary colours and man-made fabrics, but they honestly do suit me best. I glow in electric blue, I wilt in cornflower blue.

I’m closest in style to Jess Day from New Girl (without glasses), mixed with Paige Matthews (Charmed).

How can I update this look?

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imsorryiasked · 23/02/2019 13:36

What style of cardi do you wear?
Would any of these dresses give you an update?
blue
pink
ref

CountFosco · 23/02/2019 14:03

I think this is the problem with wearing clothes that 'suit your shape'. It pays no attention to fashion and that can be dating but also boring, do you intend to wear the same clothes for the rest of your life? Sounds boring.

Clothes keep us protected from the elements but they also are used for display. So you can display your body and wear flattering clothes or you can display your taste and wear fashionable clothes. The two don't always overlap. If you are bored maybe allow yourself some theoretically 'unflattering' but fashionable shapes every so often to mix things up a bit.

Atalune · 23/02/2019 14:08

You need a personal shopper! You’d be a dream to work with!

What about high waisted mom jeans? Very current with a silky cami and a shorter cropped length cardigan? Wear with white leather trainers.

Atalune · 23/02/2019 14:09

Topshop Orson jeans or ASOS Farrahs are both nice.

Floisme · 23/02/2019 17:11

I agree with Count. Knowing what suits you is useful but I don't see it as the be all and end all and nor is it a scientifically verifiable fact. It's heavily influenced by trends and I think we sometimes confuse 'unflattering' with 'unfashionable' and vice versa.

I would just go for it - try out some new things and accept that you're going to make mistakes. It's not the end of the world, in fact for me, it's part of the fun.

Also bear in mind that any different style can look odd at first. You have to give it time and let your eye adjust.

Ruby789 · 23/02/2019 17:43

Thank you for the replies.

Imsorryiasked. I just bought the blue one! Thanks for suggesting it, it’s gorgeous. I wear crew neck cardi’s that end at the hip.

CountFosco. Yes, you’ve hit the nail on the head… I hadn't thought of like that, but yes, i've been prioritising flattering.

Atalune. Thanks for the suggestion. I’ve never tried highwaisted jeans so I’ll go try the ones you suggest.

Floisme. I don’t always get it right as it is, but there is definitely a safety in everything I wear that’s is part of the problem.

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TeacupDrama · 23/02/2019 17:49

it depends; loads of people wear skinny ripped jeans at most they look good on 1 in 15, the other 14 look passable or just awful fashion victims, they suit practically nobody but most wear them as they are fashionable rather than flattering and that is their choice
Sometimes people prefer to look similar to everyone else, a few people have quirky different taste and don't want to blend in, some simply don't care and some like yourself like clothes that look good on you
at the end of the day it's a choice

Ruby789 · 23/02/2019 18:04

TeacupDrama, yes, you are also right too. I suppose what suits me is not in fashion, and so I feel i'm dressing too old for my age. I can try other things some of the time.

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JasonGideon · 23/02/2019 18:13

Ruby- Do you mind me asking what age range you are in because I feel I’m picturing you much older than you are.

Ruby789 · 23/02/2019 18:39

JasonGideon. I'm 35. What age did you think? Won't be offended whatever you say, I had my own suspicions.

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Atalune · 23/02/2019 19:00

I read your post and thought late 40s. Someone who knew what suited them and was playing it a bit safe.

To be fair I expect you look very well groomed and put together.

Ruby789 · 23/02/2019 19:05

Atalune Thanks for being honest. I did think this would be the case - hence the post this morning.

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Atalune · 23/02/2019 19:08

I just want to reiterate that I in my minds eye you appear well dressed and quite elegant. Please don’t let my comment get you down!

I think you’d really benefit from a John Lewis personal shopping experience.

hopeishere · 23/02/2019 19:17

It all seems quite strict and rules based. Do you actually like what you wear?

Ruby789 · 23/02/2019 19:25

Atalune no please don't worry i'm desperate for honest feedback. I will look into a personal shopping session.

hopeishere On balance, yes I do. I started swapping out things that didn't suit me for things that did. I thought it wouldn't date as a look because it wasn't trend led. I've been dressing like I described for almost 2 years. I do get way more compliments this way, but I feel frumpy all of a sudden because it's all so samey now. The things i've listed that don't suit me really do look horrible, and its a shame as I like a lot of it.

Think I need to find a style icon.

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JasonGideon · 23/02/2019 22:01

I would recommend boyfriend jeans- to me they look stylish but are so easy to wear! Have a look at The Frugality I love her fashion.

Ruby789 · 23/02/2019 22:31

Thank you JasonGideon, i'll take a look.

Have since found that I could easily dress a bit more like Holly Willoughby, I have a lot of similar clothes to her.

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imsorryiasked · 24/02/2019 08:37

How about trying some separates?
Eg trousers
skirt
blouse

Ruby789 · 24/02/2019 09:29

Thanks imsorryiasked. The links aren't working, but I think separates is just what I need to break up the predictability. If you wouldnt mind trying again, i'd be interested to see what you think could work for me.

I have shirts that I like and don't wear enough, so I need a skirt for those. Have an office style pencil skirt i'll try, and then I'd quite like a denim skirt, and maybe a black one in not office clothes material and then a few nice coloured and patterned skirts to wear with a plain top.

Online all the nice coloured and patterned skirts are that mid-length that isn't great on me, and high heels are not my favourite from a comfort and practicality pov, but i'll see what the options are. I could maybe get things altered if it wouldn't ruin the style.

I've been googling whats actually in fashion for SS19 and i'm keeping an eye out for pieces I can incorporate.

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wishingforalotterywin · 24/02/2019 10:24

I'm in my mid 40s and had a phase of flattering dress/cardio combo but it started to feel like a uniform. Have pretty much given up on cardigans now

Pencil skirts and belted midis (holly willowby) are possible but also potentially a bit safe

Think you need to experiment a bit with different trouser/jean shapes and lengths

How about eg a blazer instead of cardis for a start?

wishingforalotterywin · 24/02/2019 10:27

Where do you usually shop? Maybe people can suggest alternatives

imsorryiasked · 24/02/2019 10:31

Sorry don't know what happened with the links - they click thru ok on my phone. Photos attached.

How can I update my look?
How can I update my look?
How can I update my look?
Ruby789 · 24/02/2019 11:02

wishingforalotterywin Blazers look great, but only if fitted. I also then look a bit formal which i'm conscious of. I love them though, they are better than cardigans in terms of being flattering.

It does seem to be the predictability that's the real issue. Shame, thought having a wardrobe of only things that suited me would be amazing.

I buy most of my dresses from Closet, Yumi, Mela Loves London, Warehouse, Oasis, Reiss, Mango, Sainsburys (have some nice summer ones usually), ASOS
I buy tops and knitwear from Zara, Mango, Sainsburys, la Redoute, ASOS
Occasion wear from ChiChi and JJ's house.
I like the demi jeans from Wallis (I know!).

I sometimes find things in New Look and Dorothy Perkins, but less so in recent years.

imsorryiasked Thank you. I'll seek those out later.

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Ruby789 · 24/02/2019 11:06

Oh and H&M for cardigans and tops too.

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Elllllle · 24/02/2019 11:16

Also agree with CountFosco and Flo. Step outside your comfort zone. My most fashionable friends are all shapes and sizes and look amazing in Cos cocoon shapes, wide legged trousers, silk blouses and bold H&M prints. Myself, my most complimented outfits and not the outfits that make me look "skinniest" (ie most "flattering" in the eyes of many) are those with bold shapes and/or colours.