How can I update my look?

[Ruby789]

I look best in dresses, specifically block colours in bright primary colours done (jewel winter). Shapes that pretend to have a waist, or allow me to add one (a-line, sundress, tea, slip, wrap, sheath). Hem line is best 3 inches above the knee (maxi, midi, on the knee make me look short and dumpy). Fabrics like silk, satin, chiffon, velvet, thin knit, cotton, polyester (but not not linen, corduroy, tweed, chunky knit). Nothing loose or baggy nor clingy. Jewellery is ideally small and dainty, can wear bigger earrings in the evening and long necklaces are better than short ones. Make-up is generally like Alison Brie, but with a bright lip. Hair is trying to be like the Duchess of Cambridge but darker and no highlights (and I can’t get that shine and bounce). I wear cardigans (left open) with everything, but look much slimmer in a fitted collarless blazer (feel self-consciously too formal?). I do wear jeans and a top on weekends, typically with a silk cami or a slim knit jumper and I don’t look overdressed next to someone in a basic t-shirt. Odd as it sounds I make casual clothes look like pyjamas so have to dress everything up a bit. I’m rectangular/8 shape, biggest on the high hip.

I wanted to simplify everything and stop buying things that don’t suit me. And I’ve succeeded, but now have a new problem. I look so samey and a bit 90’s. I think because of the block primary colours and man-made fabrics, but they honestly do suit me best. I glow in electric blue, I wilt in cornflower blue.

I’m closest in style to Jess Day from New Girl (without glasses), mixed with Paige Matthews (Charmed).

How can I update this look?

Elllllle silk blouses, bold colours and prints I can do. Cacoon shapes look terrifying. I will give it a try though. I need to try things I normally never would.

Also op - cos you sound a bit overwhelmed - you don't need to change everything. You may find a change of shoes or bag or jewellery or even tights will update your look. Or a different style of cardigan. Or a different length of dress. Or a change of hairstyle.
I find that it's often the things on the periphery that can date a look but the reverse holds too and you may find it only takes a few items to freshen everything up.

Thanks Flosime , yes I am! I've been looking up what's in fashion and can't ever imagine actually leaving the house in any of it. I will play around with the peripheral details as you suggest. That feels less scary.

I would think about bringing variety in through your accessories! I think I’m quite similar to you, I’m quite conservative, I worry I look a bit plain. I’ve just had my styling done and my HOC lady said I’m a Gamine classic - Gamine being the fun, quirky style. I’ve definitely not been embracing that so I am looking at more accessories, varying fabrics, textures and some things with prints. Just about staying within my comfort zone but changing things up a bit.

It's tricky, I find I know what suits me but also that it is very samey and, bow, dated

I love wearing dresses, all are between mid-thigh and knee length. Midi does not look good on me, at all. They are all fitted around the waist, otherwise I look really fat (have wide hips, but slim waist, like you)

I am also still wedded to skinnies in ankle boots, but again, I have been wearing that for 10 years so it must probably go

Am bored with how I look

I just started browsing lots of websites to find a new style, but it's hard!

I am 47, and find it harder to pull off certain looks. The other day I was tempted by some denim dungarees, but that is probably a bridge too far (for a 47yr old mum)

Oh goodness! I have no advice ...

Halfway through your OP I was in awe of your encyclopaedic cataloguing of how you dress. By the end I was (sorry!) bored with the regimentation. (Though you clearly look lovely!)

It reminds me of people who proudly announce they've 'had their colours done'. Never, ever have I been able to remember what such a person was wearing, even ten minutes after seeing them. They're just an invisible blur of good taste.

At first glance I'd say all the labels you wear are disappointingly mainstream - given the amount of thought you put into getting dressed. And all very inoffensive and naice. Which is fine. But, as you indicate, not exciting!

I'm sure you'll get lots of good advice here though.

Quatermiss what sort of brands are exciting?

Can't think of any

And need suggestions, or I'll be stuck in an eternal loop of Jigsaw, Hobbs, Joules and Hush

Like you, I’ve had my colours and style done and although in some ways it’s great, it can get boring as you’re experiencing. I’m a winter too but got bored with just bright colours and have started adding in more muted colours to handbags/shoes.

If I ever feel in a rut I go to John Lewis and choose a whole bunch of things to try on that don’t fit in with the ‘rules’. I either find something surprising that I like and that suits or I leave feeling happy that my style is fine just as it is!

I love cardigans too but was feeling frumpy in them. I’ve added in a couple of longer length/boyfriend style which feel more up to date that crew neck ones.

Having been shopping yesterday, a lot of on trend stuff seems to be baggier/looser and like you, I can look swamped. I also look like a throw back to my teenage self. I’m struggling to find a pair of non skinny jeans that I like.

So my advice would be just go and have a try on in a department store that has different brands and maybe consider mixing in non winter colours for accessories.

I think something like the John Lewis personal shopper could really open your eyes. I would be looking for a neutral skirt to wear with your colours, and why do only small long necklaces work? I don’t really understand that one. A new necklace is one of the easiest ways to switch up an outfit.
As well as everything everyone else says. I am also winter jewel tones and definitely wear things that aren’t these colours and don’t suit me perfectly because I love them. I think that’s totally fine.

Just popped out to the shops to try a few things on, so thanks for the additional responses in the meantime.

FaithInfinity Accessories is definitely a good idea, and scares me less.
Babygrey7 Glad you understand the problem, hope the thread helps you too.
QuaterMiss No offence taken - I know what you mean. Though being an invisible blur of good taste would be a step up. If you have ideas of interesting brands I could try please let me know.
QueenCerise Thank you. I will. Tried on a few new colours today, and though I didn't buy them, it was the fit that was the issue.
timeisnotaline Ha, the necklace thing, short ones seem to highlight my not chiseled jaw. I wear them, but longer is better. I will give a personal shopper a try. I worry John Lewis has brands that might be even more ageing?

Just an update on the shopping. Was only a local place so not many shops to choose from, but I did pick out things I normally wouldn't in each shop to try on. All the loose fitting stuff was really bad, new colours were fine. Skirts are a challenge on my shape so i'll keep trying. I definitely need new jeans.

Incidentally, my current style is apparently in fashion (on the high street), lots of block colours and tea style shirts. I am tempted to buy some more shirts but will hold fire until I get to some better shops later in the week and experiment a bit more.

I have been feeling the same as you recently. I have spent so long working out what colours, shapes, fit and fabrics suit me but it does get a bit boring after a while, as it means discounting 90% of what you see.

I recently started following an influencer on insta and who wears stuff that doesn't always make them look their best, but so what? They are enjoying their clothes and don't look hideous and that's good enough for ne.

Forgot to come back to this.

Well ... For looking at (not suggesting you rush out and buy) I'm very keen on the Japanese aesthetic: Yohji Yamamoto, Comme des Garçons, Junya Watanabe ...

Definitely not your idea of 'flattering' - but wearing those sorts of clothes would tell people something about me that I think is just as important as my waist measurement. (In fact, as I'm not particularly sociable and don't like smalltalk I would expect my clothes, to some extent, to speak for me. And 'likes neat conventional clothes and a neat, conventional life is not what I want them to say!

Sale shopping and confidence boosting clothes - maybe Maison Margiela, Rick Owens (not the very drapery stuff). Some Acne Studios - though their current athleisure obsession is trying my patience rather. Marques Almeida is wonderful. I really love Rochas for cartoon ladylike-ness - but I only live that sort of lifestyle for about three nights a year ...

I'm sure more will occur to me. (Forgive typos and mis-spellings. STILL NO PREVIEW FUNCTION.)

Have you tried & Other Stories OP? They have some really lovey quality things which are classic / suitable for 30-somethings but a bit more on trend.

EmpressJewel It seems its quite common to feel like we do. You think figuring out your style and only having things that suit you is the best thing ever, for about a year or two, then you end up feeling frumpy.
QuaterMiss Thank you for the suggestions. The first few designers I couldn't afford nor pull off, but the other suggestions in your third paragraph I will look through properly tonight. Would never have come across any of these names alone so thank you. I know what you mean about your personal style speaking for you. I am reserved and shy, so I guess that comes through a bit in how 'safe' I dress.
datahackname I had assumed that shop was for tall people for some reason .... I'll take a look tonight too. Thank you.

As a more general update, I have so far found what QueenCerise said to be true... I am trying many new things and leaving feeling my current style is right for me, especially where fit is concerned.

I was chatting to a colleague about my style dilemma, and they told me my style is very Charlotte York from Sex and the City. I didn't watch it so have since googled her, and yes, that's me to a T. It explains why I look both 90's and a bit older.

I do wear bolder patterns and prints (aztec, geometric, abstract) than anything I've seen online that she has though, and I have a few casual jackets (demin and faux leather) which don't seem to fit with her style.

Don't think about what you can afford when you're thinking about clothes! Not at first, anyway.

It's really helpful, I find, to acknowledge clothing and fashion as art - and think about what things mean or signify. To me Vogue is just a continuation of looking at a Gainsborough, Manet, Picasso in a gallery. How are women presenting themselves or being represented? What do clothes show about what it means to be human at any given time? Etc. Etc.

You don't have to think about affording Comme des Garçons any more than affording the Gainsborough. But you can think about the many and various ways in which it is possible to be beautiful. And stylish. And that frees up your instincts and responses towards what you can afford.

Thank you QuaterMiss. I think that's a concept that will take me a bit of time to take on board.

I hate to say it, but pretty much all 'catwalk high fashion' looks terrible to me, but I like it when the high street and it's been muted down and made wearable, then I sort of get it.

Ok - so when you say pretty much all 'catwalk high fashion' looks terrible to me - what is it you're reacting against?

Have you interrogated your response or are you happy to just accept it without question?

I worry about my response to this in case someone finds it offensive, but I find it really attention seeking, badly fitted, harsh on the eye and generally un-pretty. In more recent years there seems to be a competition to create the ugliest unwearable combinations.

It matches with my very conventional idea of what is beautiful, and for me I am attracted to clean lines, classic simplicity (like a timeless elegance) with a little pattern and colour thrown in in a playful feminine way. That's not to say anything other than this is ugly, but simply goes in the 'not for me' box.

Though I do know that catwalk stuff influences me in my choices (eventually) when it filters down, and in small subtle ways I can like most things. But subtle is generally key.

a competition to create the ugliest unwearable combinations.

Ok! So ... D'you think there might be some connection between these 'ugly' clothes and #MeToo? (For instance?) That designers (m/f/whatever) are reacting against the oppression of the male gaze in regards to how women dress?

(Just look at the howls of protest when Phoebe Philo left Celine ...)

I really hadn't thought of it that way.

I feel a bit uneasy about the whole #MeToo movement so perhaps I would never have put it together.

@ruby789, I hope you don't mind me being a bit blunt but also I have some quick and easy suggestions for you.

If you wear pulled together "safe" clothes, you need an edgy hairstyle to make you look that little bit in the moment, as if you have a personal style but not too considered. It struck me that you have a Duchess of Cambridge hairstyle and Charlotte from SATC clothes, so in order to look a bit more up to date you need to change either the clothes or the hair.

I was very like you in my 30's and it worked but I never got it quite right. recently I've changed my style quite a bit and since I turned 40 I've been more classic with an edge so I always have one piece that is not same.

For you, I would suggest turning up your jeans or trousers, or wearing an ankle length style.

Wear either white trainers (Stan Smith) or leather converse in a neutral colour like bronze or pewter.

Wear the above with your jeans and when you feel more confident, wear them with a tea dress to work.

Search Olivia Palermo - she is a modern edgy Charlotte / Duchess - but manages to look cool at the same time

Go on Pinterest for inspiration - type in Olivia Palermo and you will get loads of pics of her

Good luck - this will be fun for you and let us know how you get on.

It's just my first thought - not a definitive thesis!

I'm sure there are countless things that influence designers en masse. (I mean those who are actually trying to express something beyond their own desire for enormous salaries.)

Annasgirl Thank you. Thank you for the tip about Olivia. It would be great to have an actual person to steal ideas from. I will have a proper look later and try the suggestions you've made.

QuarterMiss Of course. I think what I mean is that I feel the same way about high fashion as I do about some modern art - pretentious nonsense and nothing I couldn't have made myself. Though that just proves why I need help in the style department!

@quatermiss that is very nicely put!