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How can I update my look?

151 replies

Ruby789 · 23/02/2019 11:47

I look best in dresses, specifically block colours in bright primary colours done (jewel winter). Shapes that pretend to have a waist, or allow me to add one (a-line, sundress, tea, slip, wrap, sheath). Hem line is best 3 inches above the knee (maxi, midi, on the knee make me look short and dumpy). Fabrics like silk, satin, chiffon, velvet, thin knit, cotton, polyester (but not not linen, corduroy, tweed, chunky knit). Nothing loose or baggy nor clingy. Jewellery is ideally small and dainty, can wear bigger earrings in the evening and long necklaces are better than short ones. Make-up is generally like Alison Brie, but with a bright lip. Hair is trying to be like the Duchess of Cambridge but darker and no highlights (and I can’t get that shine and bounce). I wear cardigans (left open) with everything, but look much slimmer in a fitted collarless blazer (feel self-consciously too formal?). I do wear jeans and a top on weekends, typically with a silk cami or a slim knit jumper and I don’t look overdressed next to someone in a basic t-shirt. Odd as it sounds I make casual clothes look like pyjamas so have to dress everything up a bit. I’m rectangular/8 shape, biggest on the high hip.

I wanted to simplify everything and stop buying things that don’t suit me. And I’ve succeeded, but now have a new problem. I look so samey and a bit 90’s. I think because of the block primary colours and man-made fabrics, but they honestly do suit me best. I glow in electric blue, I wilt in cornflower blue.

I’m closest in style to Jess Day from New Girl (without glasses), mixed with Paige Matthews (Charmed).

How can I update this look?

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Ruby789 · 01/03/2019 12:49

Don't worry Bani, helps to know why i shy away from some things.

I've bought a few ebay things, fingers crossed.

In other news I found theses jeans:
www.mytrendymarket.com/jeans-droit-femme-lab-dip/6507-jean-jane-reg-lab-dip-t26.html

There's something odd and yet nice about them at the same time.

I'll give cos another chance. I think when i get used to seeing myself differently I might be more open to it. I did find an oversized jumper i like, it's canary yellow, but still, bit of the old style with a bit of the new maybe?

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hopeishere · 01/03/2019 14:47

That blue top shop blouse doesn't fit that model!!

banivani · 04/03/2019 09:44

Yes, I find it impossible to just switch styles. More a case of when you find a clothing item that makes you happy, even if it doesn't fit the aesthetic you think you have to adhere to, then you make it work for you anyway. :) I was in Cos this weekend myself and struggled with all the oversize things. But I do think they have lovely materials and for me that is very important and part of how I want to be seen (as someone who values quality).

NuffingChora · 04/03/2019 10:46

Jumping in late here, but reading through your posts, I would have a look at chloelovestoshop on Instagram - she is similarly petite and polished, but wears a lot of high street clothes (mixed with designer) in really interesting ways, and manages to both look cool and trendy, but also her age (in a really good way!! I mean this as a genuine compliment - she seems very comfortable in her own skin/style). Have attached screenshots of some recent jeans-based looks which would be really easy to recreate.

How can I update my look?
How can I update my look?
How can I update my look?
Ruby789 · 04/03/2019 20:51

Bani thank you for understanding.

NuffingChora thanks for this. I've started following. Her styling looks achievable and not too intimidating.

I've bought a few decent brands from ebay. I'm still not pulling off the look, but I think the bottom line is that I need to lose weight off of my midesection. Separates just highlight what I try so hard to hide. There are some that look less bad though, so i'm continuing the search, and making sure to rotate my jacket / bags / shoes more regularly. It's already helping.

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Lola43 · 04/03/2019 23:45

Hi, in order to update your appearance, you can also change the hairstyle. For example, I have never curled my hair before. But I tried, and now I do it all the time. For curling hair, I use ACEVIVI from greathaircurlers.com/best-curling-iron-long-hair/. This machine uses steam to keep your hair dry while the inner ceramic rod is working.
Also, you can change your makeup to change your style.
I hope I helped you with something.

mathanxiety · 04/03/2019 23:57

Place marking

Atalune · 05/03/2019 10:32

Got any new outfits you can show describe for us?

GreenHouseKeeping · 05/03/2019 13:11

I read a tip on here years ago which was - every time you see a trend, no matter how much you hate it, go and try a few pieces of it on in a couple of shops.

This has been literally revolutionary for my wardrobe and has had me wearing all manner of things (cropped wide trousers, anyone?) that I would literally never have worn. I had this odd idea that clothes like that were intended for other people, but not me.

Also, I hate to say it, but I found that losing weight (only about 7lbs) made all my closers look edgier and more current.

GreenHouseKeeping · 05/03/2019 13:11

*clothes, obviously!

Ruby789 · 05/03/2019 14:50

Thanks Lola, that's helpful.

Atalune So far I have learned I can frump-up anything. I've tried so many different things and it's exactly what GreenHouseKeeping suggests, the excess weight around my middle is the real problem - and it's simply far more obvious in separates. I've started a diet today.

In the meantime I am still trying on lots of things beyond what I would normally go for and i'm enjoying the process. There is a trend for clashing patterns/prints, which I've been playing with and like.

I'm also making sure that I use the full breadth of my existing wardrobe, picking a different jacket/bag/shoes/jewellery combination each day. This is helping to combat the uniform look and has made such a difference.

I kept the jeans I linked to above, and a lot of the ebay stuff is nice too. I'm putting together outfit ideas, but none have panned out so far. I'm stealing ideas from the tube each day, plus buying fashion magazines, following people on Instagram and the threads on here. It's starting to become fun, despite the horrors of the changing room.

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Atalune · 05/03/2019 15:38

Don’t be too hard on yourself about your weight and shape, don’t let that get you down

What do you weigh? How tall are you?

Good underwear can be a lifesaver.

Floisme · 05/03/2019 15:53

I'm fascinated that you find dresses more forgiving around the middle than separates. I found the opposite - it's one reason why I've mostly moved away from them. That's not to say I'm right and you're wrong - it's just interesting that we see it so differently. It's why I think style rules, while helpful, shouldn't be taken too literally.

And yes, good underwear is a wonderful thing.

Ruby789 · 05/03/2019 16:03

I weigh 9 stone 3 lbs. I'm 5 foot 4. I have a flat chest (A-cup), flat small bum, slim arms and legs. I carry ALL my excess weight on the waist (I don't have one) and the high-hip (low abs). It's really the worst body shape to have.

I honestly think my height and where I store weight is the root of the problem with clothes. I did get down to 7.5 stone once and still had the same basic shape issue, so I'll be realistic and aim for the low eights. The weight comes off evenly all over (stupid body). I will up the exercise too, you never know.

In the meantime I'll keep experimenting in the changing room, and with ebay/charity shop/fast fashion finds. I don't mind the high street, and i've never been a label person anyway, but I do know what people mean about quality. I'll wait to buy quality until I've reached a new weight to settle at.

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Ruby789 · 05/03/2019 16:09

Floisme I thinks it's that it's one item, one colour/pattern so there is nothing obvious cutting me across at my widest bit. I add slim belts, in the colour of the dress to give a fake waist at my smallest bit. I also have an extremely short waist (there is only an inch between the bottom of my ribs and the top of my hips) so no amount of dieting will change that.

I also find trousers specifically a nightmare, to be big enough to fit the belly I end up with a seriously baggy bum.

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Atalune · 05/03/2019 16:22

I really think high waisted jeans are going to look great on you.

Have you tried the orson ones from topshop yet?

Atalune · 05/03/2019 16:24

these ones

Ruby789 · 05/03/2019 16:34

Hi Atalune I have ordered some (should be there to pick up tomorrow), but thinking now I should wait until I've lost a bit?

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LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 05/03/2019 16:35

Do you know what jumped out at me (after reading the whole thread which is actually brilliant!)? It's that you have a LOT of clothes and actually it might be better to save up and get one edgier but completely versatile thing that goes with lots of what you have. So you mentioned blazers, what about saving up for a gorgeous leather biker jacket, for example? Spend a bit more and get something with a more designed (which isn't the same as designer Smile) edge.

Atalune · 05/03/2019 16:39

You know your body but I think at 5’4 losing a stone is quite the ask. That’s only my opinion though.

I wouldn’t buy clothes to slim into.

Love the body you’re in!

Ruby789 · 05/03/2019 16:52

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett you are absolutely right, I have lots, and lots and lots! And I've just bought more. I do like the idea of buying something that is just so fabulous it elevates everything else. Need to do some thinking about the weight issue first as that one thing needs to fit perfectly to do it's job.

Atalune It won't be easy you are right, but it is worth trying. It will instantly de-frump me if I can lose a bit of weight, and might open up new styles. I'm still going to enjoy trying new things on the journey, but not invest in any expensive items until I've settled on a weight I can maintain.

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GeorgeTheBleeder · 05/03/2019 17:29

You could buy a hat. Or some boots ...

(Have namechanged for the Archers thread and can't be doing with any switching back and forth. Was the unmarried lady, above.)

Babygrey7 · 05/03/2019 20:30

Ruby789, I bought a burgundy leather jacket to wear over my tea dresses/jersey dresses and wear skirts now with trainers or ankle boots

Small changes that adapted my existing wardrobe, and mixed things up a bit

I feel fashion is going back to how I used to dress in 1985 Grin (the shape of jeans, ankle boots, baggy tops, batwing sleeves) which is a bit unnerving, but it is also nice to try and change a bit

CountFosco · 05/03/2019 20:54

OP I really don't think your weight is an issue here. You are a healthy weight with a BMI of 22 (at 7st5 you were very underweight with a BMI of 17.5!). If you aren't happy with your shape then up your exercise to tone you and improve your posture but don't diet. If you do more exercise your muscle mass will increase giving you a curvier bum and chest. Oh, and you need a bra intervention if you think you are an A cup.

Keep experimenting, take some photos and see what you think. And enjoy!

Ruby789 · 05/03/2019 21:07

GeorgeTheBleeder Yes you are totally right, I can do accessories now. I'm on the hunt for a fake leather pair of shoes like this www.zalando.co.uk/san-marina-gemata-ankle-boots-noir-sab11b00r-q11.html?zoom=true

Babygrey7 Thanks. I do some of that, but inconsistently. I get lazy and keep doing the same look over and over just with a different dress. I totally agree things are very 80's and 90's right now. I'm wearing bomber jackets again :)

CountFosco True, just hate that role of flab. I'll see what I can do with exercise and mabe a few pounds off and see where I am. I'm definitely an A-cup, maybe even a AA as there's space in my cup.

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