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Original poster

I want to dress upper middle class

387 replies

ConfusedWife1234 · 30/12/2018 09:06

I actually am upper middle class, live in an upper middle class neighborhood and because of this I would like to dress more upper middle class.

A woman I know told me she thought I was desperately poor first time we met... and I am really not happy with the way I dress.

Can you help me?

OP posts:
grumiosmum · 30/12/2018 17:45

OP - I fit your demographic.

I am currently wearing black skinny jeans from M&S and a grey polo neck fairly chunky jumper bought from The White Company at least 6 years ago. Over a T-shirt with holes in, but not visible.

With grey felt slippers.

I am wearing pearl earrings, because we went out shopping today. I bought a new tweed coat in the sales at Jigsaw, to replace my 7-year old Toast tweed coat (which was also bought in the sale).

I usually wear trainers or low-heeled suede ankle boots on my feet, although I do have heels which I wear only for going out.

I have a range of coats/jackets for walking the dog depending on the weather, the oldest of these is 15 years old (from Gap) and still worn regularly.

On NYE we are going to friends for dinner and I will either be wearing a dress from Hush or from White Stuff, with a bit of silky/sparkle.

Does this help?

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 30/12/2018 17:48

The pearls, must be inherited, ditto any other jewellery.

Amen sister. Just what I've always been saying. I loaned my DD mine, along with my Chanel jacket, 'tis the only way. Full disclosure, both from that fabulous H&M shop, both Eighties fakes. Grin

grumiosmum · 30/12/2018 17:49

Also I would never wear Joules or Crew clothing (aspirational MC IMHO) and have ditched Boded because everyone wears it.

I've also never owned a Barbour (point of pride there) but might borrow DH's if the conditions demanded it. My wellies are Muck Boots. I don't ride.

madmum5811 · 30/12/2018 17:53

Being serious your husband is an ass. We socialise with UMC whatever that is, they shop at Aldi swear by the booze there. Live in homes with inherited furniture, all of it brown so to speak. Their country coats stand up on their own. Their furniture is covered in dog hairs. They are lovely, funny, odd, unpleasant, just like anyone else. They really do not shop often for clothes, or worry about them.

cantbeatfreshsheets · 30/12/2018 17:56

Why do you care? Is this a serious question?
I'm baffled honestly. Sorry!

PotteryGirl · 30/12/2018 18:05

This is a desperate thread..of all the things to be fussing over..Sorry to be rude but you need to get a grip...

tierraJ · 30/12/2018 18:10

grumiosmum - I think my umc friend wears joules & crew because they are 2 of the very small amount of local clothes shops in her country town.
She doesn't do online shopping & s too busy to get to other shops.
She does look quite scruffy at times.

Her family have land & she has inherited antique furniture, even her hairbrush is an antique!

diddl · 30/12/2018 18:11

When you say shabby clothes Op-do they obviously need replacing?

I can't help thinking that part of your problem is your husband tbh.

dementedma · 30/12/2018 18:14

haven't read the whole thread but I work with a lot of UMC types, mostly ex-military men. Dress code, without fail, is coloured trousers - cords or moleskin - check shirt, regimental tie, sleeveless pullover/tank top/tweed jacket. Always cufflinks, usually the ones like little knots.
That describes all the senior men in my office. they all have dogs, mostly black labs which are their gun dogs. Many of them are also the Queens' Archers. (might be outing myself here)
Their wives are super skinny, highlighted blond hair, good skin and teeth. They are like clones.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 30/12/2018 18:14

@ConfusedWife1234
Just a (though linguistically backed up) guess: People who do speak German without a regional accent usually did not grow up here (or had a very strict upbringing.) Everybody is expected to have a regional accent.
And to openly critizise somebody's dress is simply rude (or if it were my son simply a statement but he is AS) - so ignore them.

This thread is quite ... interesting - especially the the amount of German "royalty" met by posters.

Mercurial123 · 30/12/2018 18:16

I find it really depressing that you can't wear what you like. And for people who judge people on what they are wearing I'm sure they aren't perfect either.

diddl · 30/12/2018 18:18

"I find it really depressing that you can't wear what you like"

I know!

If Op is umc living amongst umc-how can she not know how to dress??

grumiosmum · 30/12/2018 18:19

Ha ha tierraJ I was being a bit over-prescriptive!

I do know a few horsey Mums who think Joules is OK. I just hate it. My hairbrush is over 10 years old (but not an antique silver one!)

HauntedPencil · 30/12/2018 18:21

I don't really know how they would dress in Germany OP.

I think ultimately we all end up copying a bit, looking at magazines and people you think have the look you want.

HauntedPencil · 30/12/2018 18:24

I have a coat from Joules it's so warm & cosy. I am not upper middle class though.

RomanyRoots · 30/12/2018 18:26

Surely what you wear is umc as that's what you are Confused
A bit like asking a bank manager why he doesn't dress like a bank manager.
Or a racing car driver, they both dress appropriately, as do you.
What a weird thread.
Dress how you want there's no such thing as class now anyway.

diddl · 30/12/2018 18:31

"Surely what you wear is umc as that's what you are"

I think that that's a good point tbh.

Surely clothes are a small part of umc?

If you have the background, education, lifestyle...

I mean if Wlliam & Kate started wearing primark, they wouldn't become a different class, would they?

Original poster
ConfusedWife1234 · 30/12/2018 18:43

@diddl If I am UMC among UMC people how comes I do not know how to dress?
First of all I did not have a really UMC upbringing. I grew up sort of post communist... if you are interested I can tell you about this. It is very different from growing up western. At least for me it was. Second my parents do not have a good education because in their homecountries they were deprived of that (because they hated the former UMC), also my parents are liberals and sort of colorful individuals who never cared about dressing right.
(Also I do think that there are different Kinds of UMC. The “normal“ kind and people like me (or dh) whose ancestors come from the military UMC and they are different from the normal UMC.

OP posts:
Mercurial123 · 30/12/2018 18:50

OP I think your parents sound interesting why not follow their example rather than dressing in a conformist style which is boring.

tierraJ · 30/12/2018 18:54

OP maybe you should be more like your parents attitude & care less about dressing 'right'.

Try to find your own style? Yes look at the people around you but also look in magazines to get ideas.

Personally I always like to look smart even if I'm going to the gym or for a walk.
I always like to look well groomed with nice make up & jewellery.
I wouldn't be seen dead in scruffy clothes that are dirty or have holes in.

But I'm working class so maybe don't listen to me....

Original poster
ConfusedWife1234 · 30/12/2018 18:56

@Mercurial123 I think the way my parents livewas right for them... but it hurt me and my siblings. It was not what they intended but kids want parents who fit in with the other parents...
And actually I do like to fit in with the people around me. This is how I am and the priorities I have.

OP posts:
madmum5811 · 30/12/2018 18:58

I know a family who fled the eastern bloc very UMC. It was hard for them. For their children/grandchildren they are wonderful stories of a bygone age.

Greenglassteacup · 30/12/2018 18:58

Dog with a bone OP, get your head away from all of this upper middle class bollocks, it is absolute nonsense!!!!

FilledSoda · 30/12/2018 19:17

Self acceptance would make you so much happier than a new wardrobe OP.
You don't appear to like yourself very much which is sad .
Hold your head high , know that you are a good person , honestly life is too short for this angst.

WombatChocolate · 30/12/2018 19:21

Surely Joules and Boden and Crew are carefully marketed at people who ASPIRE to be upper middle class and fancy themselves in sailing or riding gear, but are highly unlikely to do those pursuits. I note that Next now sells Joules and Next really is pretty far from umc- nothing wrong with it, but not umc. Aren’t those who aspire to look mc often wc and those who want to look umc very much lmc in reality?
If you want to look ‘old money’ then you’re talking very good quality without logos - the kind of thing that won’t draw attention but those in the know will recognise as quality but those aspiring may well not. If you want to look a particular class or group you WANT people to notice you and make particular judgements and care what people think. Real umc have nothing to prove so dress and other things those who are aspirational get worked up about don’t bother them - if you’re the real deal you don’t need to prove it.