Les Parisiennes de Mamansnet: Orangutans in Paris make for poor gondoliers

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The sunshine might be fading from our passion fruit punch but we're looking forward to what autumn will bring.

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Merci, bo.

Looking forward to autumn, I think I've got a fair amount of autumn clothes famous last words but, as always, looking for new ways to wear them. Love flo's idea of doing for drama too .

*going for drama, obviously. Trying to type quickly before my tablet battery runs out and with a very wriggly 8yr old on my lap!

Bonsoir mes Parisiennes jolies!

Can’t remember who was asking about my cardigan, but it was a Jigsaw sale purchase.

Am slowly crawling towards my 12 week scan (next Tuesday). Other than ongoing fatigue, I’m doing okay. For the most part my outfits have been pretty functional but today’s went rather better so I snapped a pic on the way out of work. Crimson Reiss top plus blue Boden skirt, navy De Mellier bag and oxblood heels. I am definitely showing now but the skirt has a bit of a tulip cut which actually disguises the mini bump well. Got a big family funeral on Friday, not ready to reveal news to OH’s vast extended family so did a frantic scurry around shops at lunchtime in the hunt for a black tulip skirt, but to no avail. Think I’ve got a black dress with some good ruching so will try that this evening. Otherwise black blazer? Sucky in tights?

In other news I am currently lusting after these Bobbies forest green suede courts.

Thanks for the new thread!

Love the dark red top, Peony.

Mmm...autumn clothes.

Not a fan of all the oversized double-breasted check things I keep seeing. But I rather like the idea of a velvet biker jacket (as per Pure Collection) if it's structured properly.

I still need some slightly casual skirts and ideally some knee high boots. And maybe some winter trainers, I have some lovely pink suede ones but I don't think they'll do well in autumn.

...at that point I'd like to think my wardrobe will be complete. Ha.

You look great peony, you carry the mini bump well. Could you not wear the navy Boden skirt with a black top and possibly sheer black tights, navy courts, and the Demellier bag (also navy I think)? For funerals so long as it's dark it usually suffices.

I've been collaging again only to discover I haven't really moved on from the boie des rose base colour palette, the 70s vibe (form casual) and sculptural architectural vibe (for work). So feel the need to expand a little. I really need to pull out my A/W wardrobe for review soon but it feels a bit premature. I know I'd like some knee length boots in camel/cognac/brown but beyond that I'm not sure what holes there really are in my wardrobe.

Playing with the idea of utilitarian but mixed with more luxe fabrics to smack the austerity out of it. I can even see potential of incorporating the much neglected courts in true 90s (or was it early 00s?) style.

Though I usually avoid traditional tweeds, houndstooth, and check as I can't really do the ironic take on it with any conviction but I'm liking the way the French are styling it clashing amongst each other with a punch of colour so I may have to give it a try. Only problem is, I'm not really in the mood for investing in something out of my usual comfort zone straight away but the high street versions are probably going to be dire. Thinking baby steps with any old pattern, I don't really have much of that. Definitely on the lookout for colour too.

In the desperately want it but don't need it box, this Toteme coat. Was already drooling over it last year, was sold out then in my size but I'm pretty sure I'd drown in it and I don't need another oversized camel coat even if it is a different shade of camel...

And newly rediscovered bag I mentioned previously. Think it's from the late 90s/early 00s but I quite like it for today. Not the best pictures, but I can wear it on my left shoulder without it looking like a backpack. Looks fine cross body or on my back too but prefer this for now.

90s acquisitions re coming back around. I bought a fanny pack from Herve Chappellier in Liberty (about £22 IIRC) back then; still have it and am reaching for it most days. It's looking a bit bloomed though.

Peony, you are looking great; dark red is great in your wardrobe.

The usually high standard of quality picks from Bo. You have such a good eye.

I know what you mean bo, I never felt comfortable wearing heritage patterns. I once saw a young woman in a silk small flower pattern dress and tweed jacket and she looked great in it. When I attempted similar I felt like an imposter somehow, like I was playing dress up. When I tried the straight tweed jacket just with jeans I looked frumpy. Having said that I really like the idea from one of your pictures of pairing a tweed jacked with clashing scarf.

In my news, inspired by a friend’s recent eBay haul, I just bought an Isabel Marant Etoile silk blouse for £13. I’m thinking of ways to wear it, my only going out clothes seem to either be very dress uppy or I just go out in my day clothes, so this may be nice for between. I guess the obvious way is to pair it with black slim jeans but that feels a bit tired...

peony unless there's a specified dress code, all the funerals I've been to have been about looking reasonably smart, sober and unostentatious. Dark colours but they don't have to be black. It's more about making sure your clothes don't draw attention to yourself. Immediate family can do whatever they like. Hope it goes well. Love the dark red on you - it's not a shade that works for me, wish it did.

I like your luxe utilitarian looks bo. I also like the clashing tweed / houndstooth thing. I was a bit snarky about tweed coming back into fashion but actually that looks fresher than, say teaming it with cashmere.

And I'm very jealous of your lovely and bargainous silk shirt JonSnow. I sometimes think I should give ebay another go but I spend far too much time on the internet as it is - I would never go out again.

Sorry I forgot to say - the Nivea'd hair worked out ok but let's just say I haven't used it again today. I don't think it's going to be the next Waitrose baby bottom butter or whatever it was. Incidentally blue pot Nivea is one of the few products I trust on my face - even though it's highly perfumed, it never irritates. Funny old world.

Thanks for the new thread.

Lots of lovely ideas from everyone. Peony, you look great, I second bo's suggestion that you team the navy, tulip skirt with black for the funeral, suitably dark and flattering.

Love the IM blouse, JonSnow, would it work with a slim skirt as well? Bare legged for summer and tights and boots for winter.

I know what you mean by being careful with tweed, I have a dark, green tweed jacket that I bought for a winter wedding, years ago, I really struggled to get one I liked. I ended up with a topshop, unlined one, because the cut was more unusual, quite fitted and slightly military rather than traditional. Very classic styles can look really dull on me, though sometimes if I pair it with something more contemporary that works, e.g. maxmara herringbone trousers that are very wide with leather trainers or biker jacket.

Love the bois de rose board, bo, particularly the burgundy jacket/coat. I wear lots of burgundy in autumn and winter, love that kind of tonal dressing and often wear several berry shades together.

Hello ladies, back again after a long absence on the Parisienne threads.

Am getting flirty with an unbelievably hot American who I've fancied for almost 25 years and feel i ought to up my game a bit again..

Am wearing black jeans with a black and white polka dot top and lace up brogue type boots.

Like quirky, I was thinking skirts too, Jon. It has a bit of a nineties feel actually, it may work with 501 style jeans as well with a black or brightly coloured cami underneath. A high waisted denim skirt could maybe work too?

There's an article on the Guardian today on the layering of patterns, Style clash: how matchy-mismatchy became the new matchy-matchy

www.theguardian.com/fashion/2018/aug/21/style-clash-how-matchy-mismatchy-became-the-new-matchy-matchy?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Copy_to_clipboard

I have to say I still prefer the French take on it. Attached are pics of pics from Vogue Paris (August edition, still waiting on the September one, saw the UK one but wasn't really compelled to buy it).

I think part of my issue with heritage fabrics is that they tend to be in items that are less tailored, double breasted, sit wider around the waist, etc. If they go fashion that might change and give me more options but I do get a bit of imposter syndrome with them as I do often feel frumpy in them.

I've also had a mega clearout (12 bags donated to British Heart Foundation). Wardrobe now streamlined and monochrome, like a French Voguette if any of them were chunky and Scottish .

peony you look très jolie, love the red, that's the right colour alright! Incidentally (and here it all goes me me me, sorry) I just bought a drapey t-shirt that colour to wear with my floral trousers.

Storytime: The Drama of Finding Something To Go With Floral Trousers Bought On Impulse.

I had nothing that felt right except one home-dyed green silk blouse, originally yellow (H&M). Sadly when I dyed it I didn't notice it had deodorant stains under the arms that have turned the blouse patchy blue there. Haven't decided yet if ruined or if I should try to scrub them all out and re-dye. SO ANYWAY I tried on the trousers and paraded in front of mr bani who for once focused and gave los opiniones. He suggested a pussy-bow blouse, so I had that in mind when traipsing around town looking. Despite the hashtag for said blouses after the crisis of the Swedish Academy (Sara Danius famously wears them) there were none in any right colour. Except one. A beautiful, stretchy silk, navy blue, long-sleeved blouse with buttons all down the front (or back! Think it could be worn either way). On sale for about 800 kr. In all sizes bar mine. Can't remember the brand. Something fancier. Ah well.

I tried on a few different things, including stretchy lace tops (you know, the rather ubiquitous high street "mum goes to a wedding" style) but they didn't feel right. One thing that might have worked was this blouse from Carin Wester for Åhléns, which is a very unusual style for me. Colour cream, quite see-through, viscose. Not bad, but I didn't love it so in the end decided on a drapy deep red t-shirt that'll get more wear since I love the colour.

Aren't you glad you got the story! ;)

Re: funeral clothing so much depends on culture. In some places they'd definitely not raise an eyebrow at navy instead of black, esp if you're pregnant, but if you're not officially pregnant ... I'm constantly taken by surprise by the expectations that come with funerals. As a Catholic and half-foreigner in Sweden I've done the wrong thing more than once.

Bo That bag is very unusual and I take back what I said. It doesn't fit the mold for the bags that were everywhere here in the 90s at all. Looks very nice. I also like your collages. Why do you feel the need to break away from what is clearly taking your fancy atm? And speaking of Totême, when I was in Åhléns looking very specifically for just a top I saw several Totême items in the sale. Was very surprised, haven't seen the brand in "our" shop. I wonder if they spread out remaining sale items all over the country instead of having them all in the biggest stores in Stockholm and Gothenburg. Anyway, nothing I liked enough to get and nothing in my size so no decisions to make even. There were a pair of silk trousers, beige with a red pattern - if your trousers are the same lovely quality silk I am very envious! I hope they keep doing this thing with sale items, because there were a lot of nice things I don't usually see.

Re: utilitarian in luxe fabric - many moons ago I remember reading an article about Japanese brand making denim trousers from silk. I.e. denim weave and colour fabric, but silk. Also I think they made other clothes from it, I remember an amazing bib dress with loads of volume. Silk denim has been a dream of mine ever since.

I agree that it's a shame that the heritage fabrics are sewn into such "classic"/frumpy styles. It's a vicious circle really. Less fashion, fewer sales, less demand ... When the fabric is on the roll there's nothing to not like.

banivani please you must tell us about what is expected in different cultures with regards to funerals. I'm intrigued...

Where I come from, people come to funerals in quite formal dark clothes, black is not expected. But there are very strict rules for the bereaved family. Depending of how close you are to the person that passed away, the longer you are expected to wear all black. For parents, children and siblings, you wear black for a year, for grandparents ten days or forty days depending how you feel.

I remember being 18 and wearing all black after my beloved uncle passed away, people notice it and ask about it ("whom are you mourning" is the question), it was like an invitation. And I remember feeling like I was in a ritual extension of his funeral for those forty days, and somehow dressed to perform the pain. And I remember the letting go of the clothes when forty days were up, it was a big deal. I didn't wear black for many years afterwards.

Apart from being all black, you are expected to have minimal or no makeup, minimal or no jewellery (certainly nothing sparkly), no skin on show, sheer black tights even in the summer and short sleeves are allowed only in the extreme summer heat.

It sounds so restrictive and weird, but the custom is very strong, younger people do it too although not maybe for the whole year. I think my DS wore black for forty days after our DF passed away.

On a less sombre note, thanks for reminding me of denim being a good fit for the shirt bo, I have these Levi's, they should be perfect.

A tight skirt is a good idea too (thank you quirky), although all (both - I don't have many!) my tight skirts are classic pencil style in wool. Ahh now I need to find an interesting one with zips or something (the vicious circle).

I like the sporty collar jumper paired with tweed in the first French Vogue picture. These 70's style jumpers have been around for a few years now and I just started noticing them properly, but can't quite decide if they're for me. There's a merino one in red in the new IDLF x Uniqlo collection.

Bani, I just need an excuse to buy more things, really not that it ever pans out that way, before you know it I'll be doing an all white winter or something I think it also has do with being creative, there's constant influence, not in the direct sense but you automatically hone your 'fingerspitzengefuhl' for tendencies, it's a form of processing, I suppose.

Jon, IME it's less cultural (but sort of in relation to that) and more down to how religious the ceremony/family is. Jewish funerals are very austere and you dress accordingly, Catholic definitely more traditional and with extra sets of rules for family, conservative protestants are probably the most traditional dressers, everything black, down to their socks. Muslims seem more concerned with getting the body into the ground as soon as possible, the best dresscode I could decipher from it was just to dress modestly which isn't that far from their usual dress.

With my mother's side of the family the cultural influences are less about clothes but more about rituals. Coming together and eating, leaving a place noticeably empty but it is supposed to be in celebration of their life, and you do it at set dates after their passing, it's less morose than it sounds.

Well, before the age of around 30 I’d never been to funerals in Sweden that weren’t Catholic. One catholic funeral in my teens for a girl my age. The family encouraged “ordinary” clothes, they wanted to celebrate life and not wallow in black. Second funeral had Croatian influence. We were all respectfully dressed but all black not deemed a must. I think widow wore black but not necessarily the children (all young adults). Long story short: the emphasis is on turning up I suppose. Including my mother’s funeral in that, memorial here and funeral in Ireland. Thing is, my Swedish family lives more rurally and do not have levels of dress codes normally. No angst over matching shoes to dress at all. Wedding attire is “pretty dress” and you’re sorted. But when I first went to a funeral on that side ... I turned up in somber clothes but not black. Everyone was 💯 in funeral attire. Levels of black from widow to black armband. Where did this etiquette come from? Obv no one made us feel uncomfortable but I was not expecting it. There are other differences too, in Sweden funerals take a long time to happen, sometimes up to a month after the death, and the funeral company does everything. You’re expected to send wreaths and cards through them well in advance (I think! Still working it out!!!). So when I turn up with flowers and a card in situ there is no system for dealing with that. Imo it’s very ... detached I suppose. No comment on the grief, but I think our culture of delaying the funeral like this and then putting on a highly staged ritual is negative on the whole.

You look lovely, peony. Very sorry to hear about the funeral.

In my culture funerals happen very fast. I didn’t make it to either my grandmother’s funeral or to my uncle’s because I live abroad and they were buried the morning after. My mum nearly missed her own mother’s funeral for the same reason, but a very kind colleague jumped in her car and drove her across the border to where she had to get. I have no idea why it was such a taboo to consider postponing for at least a day. It might possibly originate in financial/infrastructural reasons, this is a relatively poor area that became more impoverished in the last couple of decades. More on topic, black is preferred, sombre compulsory, and a black armband/ribbon is worn for a few weeks after the death of a close family member.

At the other end of communal rituals, did you wear the floral trousers to that wedding, bani?

Auldspinster, that sounds quite exciting and romantic.

Those Bobbies courts are droolworthy, peony. I am lusting after this pair from their new collection (discovered Bobbies via bo’s recommendation from thread un or deux, these keep on giving). What are the chances that they would fit my duck feet? Being a French brand and made of calf leather not suede, I am guessing my chances are nil. Waah!

Just curious after reading all the 'back home' stories, is this thread just filled with transplanted Brits and (originally) non Brits? Surely the quota is higher than the average MN thread.

Peregrane, peony has similar feet and Bobbies but IIRC they're a suede pair of courts. Can't remember her success rate with other pairs. Am now left wondering if the duck feet are a pear thing, centre or gravity relted or something...

Certain areas of rural Sweden are very religiously conservative though, aren't they Bani? For whatever reason I'm thinking Jutland? I do think funerals hold onto older traditions the longest. Non religious ceremonies are completely different here.

The process with funeral homes is the same here, you order flowers and have them delivered to the venue and they take receipt of them but they usually have someone at the entrance to take them too. Never considered it impersonal and have to say as the family of the deceased not having to deal with all the minutiae was a massive relief, I deeply admire anyone who makes that their life's work. They did it with such kindness without overstepping and had a special talent for disappearing into the background when needed.

Peregrane back home we do funerals fast too, the next day. I heard somewhere that it’s a practical thing as it gets hot in the summer the bodies need to be buried for the sake of public health.

On a different note, I now see what I’ve been missing out on not reading all previous threads thoroughly. I had a proper look at Bobbies, they do have gorgeous shoes. I really love those loafers you posted, the burgundy and camel ones especially.

Thank you bo! Interesting theory about pear shapes and feet 😃 my mother is a pear though and
has impossibly dainty feet. I have just inherited mine from my dad’s side. But hey, at least it’s just my feet and not my hands that are shaped like a hobbit’s!

I might wait in case peony can share if she has had experience with non-suede Bobbies, before succumbing to another burst of ill-advised shopping.

If we are doing a roll call bo, I am British as well as other nationalities, but not born in the UK and not living there either.

JonSnow I love oxblood in shoes and bags, I never understood why it’s so rare to come by, relatively speaking. I love it paired with grey (like in the stock photo) and with navy, to my eyes it’s much more stylish than black.

Not sure how Parisian they are but these trousers arrived today - www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/high-waist-utility-trousers-7928576?Ntt=high%20waist%20utility%20trousers - already loving them as a casual alternative to jeans.

I am a Brit but spend a lot of time in France and have lived there for a bit. My French language skills are still a bit lacking though, sigh.