Is long hair trashy?

[ApplesTheHare]

Please help me settle a 15-year dispute with myself

When I have long hair I crave a chic bob and worry my hair looks trampy. When I have short hair I worry that I look like a 'boring mum'. Otherwise, I'm mid-30s and slim but very tired-looking. I've got a hair appointment booked next week and can't decide whether to go for a big chop or not!

Looks good suki.

Mine's about your length.

i have fabulous hair if i do say so myself and had it long for aggges, lapped up the compliments obviously but i've recently had it cut to a lob and i must say i feel quite chic and grown up and think of my long hair as a bit

Sukis is gorgeous - we've seen you before Suki with your face!

There is long hair and long hair. IMO really long Alice in Wonderland hair ( almost waist level) looks boring. But somewhere between shoulders and back bra strap is good if the hair is thick and has movement.

Mine is longer than sukis (id class that as mid length, but lovely!), closer to back bra strap length.

Long hair is very popular with young women today, around my age (early-mid 20s). It's all long, straight hair. You hardly ever see anyone with short or curly hair. You get the occasional pixie crop but not that often.
I used to have long hair, but got it cut at 15. It was very thick and curly and was an absolute nightmare to deal with. I tend to have a long-ish bob these days which is much easier to maintain. I don't get it cut as often as it should be, but that's not too much of an issue.

Long hair only looks trashy if it isn’t looked after (eg too long or ratty ends). However so can short hair if it’s not looked after!

I think long hair is pretty - like a professional balayage with a bouncy blow out, styled with a slight wave? Maybe you should colour your hair for a change rather than go for the big chop?

‘Trashy’. Interesting word used by a woman to describe a feminine trait.

Can we stop using such words please! They only perpetuate misogyny.

It doesn’t take much to think about the language you’re using before you use it.

Ditto ‘trampy’. Ffs.

Yeah, ‘trashy’ and ‘trampy’ are not great descriptors.

TBH, I don’t think long hair down to the bum, or longer, suits anybody. I find it actually a bit creepy.

Average long hair can be lovely.

(Huh. Where’s the attachment paperclip gone??)

Thanks everyone! I think you've nailed it. It's about the quality of the hair. Mine's curly so can look like it has lots of split ends even when healthy. I have great intentions around weekly deep conditioning whenever I start to grow it long but it's easier said than done. I think there's something in what Toffee said too about it being very common among younger women. I've seen a lot of people with what look to be cheaper hair extensions recently and it puts me off the long hair look although I love mine in my imagination.

And I know I was overthinking the hair issue but accusing me of perpetuating misogyny is ridiculous OtterInDisgrace You don't know anything about me I'd expect visitors to a women's forum to take a word like 'trashy' at face value. I used it here to mean rubbishy or 'poor quality' in terms of hair rather than my own morals (and therein realise I almost answered my own question in the asking ).

I agree. Here’s me in 1982 with “Cousin It” style hair. I never remember it being that straight but it was a bit weird looking, when I see women my age with this type of hair now, I do think it needs 10 inches off!

I agree with you Suki. My DD has long hair but not as long as you in 1982! She's lovely, has lovely hair and is almost 30, looks about 18, but even she gets it cut once it gets past back of bra length (and nothing to do with my comments) because she thinks it looks 'childish'.

Long hair is about quality over quantity. Where it just 'hangs' and looks like a curtain, it isn't flattering. Partly imo this is because the weight is pulling it down so it's really flat on the scalp- no bounce or style and no movement.

I agree Polly, when mine gets to bra strap, it drags my face down and doesn’t suit because I’m old!

Toffee it’s strange because when I was mid 20’s everybody wanted curly hair. Perming was HUGE in every sense of the word! I had poker straight hair and had it permed at that long length and it was just “mahoosive”. I loved it but with hundside, it was an unmanageable birds nest 😁

I love long hair, mine gets to a certain length and refuses to grow another inch. I toy with extensions but realised they don't suit my ageing face. Got it cut up 4 weeks ago and I'm loving it, takes about 5 minutes to blow dry and isn't hanging around me.

Wow Suki your hair was so long! I definitely prefer your hair now, it's gorgeous and looks in much better condition than when you were younger.

Mines quite long now and even though I've been growing it for years, am now tempted by a Bella-Hadid style haircut. But if I know if I do that, I'll probably regret it and start growing it again.

Apples I was 16 in the pic. Am 55 now. Everyine had that “flat as you like it” Morticia from the Addams Family long hair, then.

Here’s Cousin It (from the Adams Family) .... 😊

OP, I can't understand why you'd use the word 'trashy' to describe what many women have and enjoy having? It's a word with unpleasant connotations and it's only applicable to women. Why are you using such a derogatory term?

AIBU to think long hair isn't the best look for me? Fine
AIBU to think long hair isn't the best look for women? Not fine

Insert 'trashy' as the descriptor too and see how it reads.

Suki, your hair in that photo is just beautiful!

Sorry, have just realised this is S&B not AIBU but still...

Lyingwitch I think some posters here are living by the urban Slang dictionary and others (me and the OP) living by the Oxford Concise dictionary. In my 60+ years on the planet, 'trashy' used to mean uncared for, a bit 'rubbishy', (hence the US term 'trash' for refuse) , not of the best quality. I'd use it about a restaurant, a shop, anything that was sub-standard. I do not associate it with women. If you and others associate it with women of dubious morals or whatever, that's your problem, Sorry.

If you mean by "trashy" not looking great...

Whatever style of hair you go for, it looks best shiny, in good condition. I'm another curly one, so put a lot of conditioner etc. on to keep it looking good, along with regular trims. I prefer mine longer, as the weight helps keep the curls more manageable and is actually less work. Plus, I can put it up if I want to.

Definition of trashy in English:

From the Oxford Dictionary
trashy
ADJECTIVE

(especially of items of popular culture) of poor quality.
‘trashy novels and formulaic movies’
More example sentences Synonyms
*

Urban slang- women of dubious morals.

Don't be disingenuous, PollyPerky, if you're going to cite a dictionary then report definitions accurately. I've used Merriam Webster but they're much of a muchness. 'Trashy' in that one means 'Indecent' - or containing trash or of inferior quality.

Which one do you think could be applied to somebody's hair? Even if you squint a bit?

I'm not that interested, I'm used to seeing posts slapping down and deriding women's choices on here; it's just not very nice.