Is long hair trashy?

[ApplesTheHare]

Please help me settle a 15-year dispute with myself

When I have long hair I crave a chic bob and worry my hair looks trampy. When I have short hair I worry that I look like a 'boring mum'. Otherwise, I'm mid-30s and slim but very tired-looking. I've got a hair appointment booked next week and can't decide whether to go for a big chop or not!

For the record, ApplesTheHare, I didn’t accuse you of misogyny. I merely pointed out that using such words to describe women perpetuates misogyny. And it does. And if women themselves bandy them about in a casual fashion then they too are doing this, albeit unwittingly.

That is all.

Hardly being disingenuous Lying. Maybe accept that in this case you are mistaken?

The Oxford Concise gives this definition for trash:

worthless or waste stuff; rubbish, refuse. Literature: bad workmanship or material, nonsensical talk.

In the context of hair, the OP meant 'it looks a bit 'rubbishy'.
I think it's a generational perception. I expect you are younger than me and associating it with urban definitions. It's not in my generation's sphere of reference when applied to moral code or sexual activity.
Same applies to the word 'slut'- used to be used for a woman who didn't do much housework, as much as a woman who slept around.

Suki you may be 55 but your hair looks 25!

TieGrr it sounds like we have exactly the same cycle of hair issues

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe I only asked about my hair (fine in your book) not anyone else's hair

And OtterInDisgrace you accused women who use the word trampy of perpetuating misogyny, hence you accused me of perpetuating misogyny. While I agree that there are steps we can take to counter misogyny, I don't agree that lecturing other feminists asking light-hearted questions about their own hair online is going to be effective. Like PollyPerky I use 'trashy' to mean rubbishy or poor-quality, I wouldn't use it to describe a group of women. I've just realised that autocorrect changed trashy to trampy in my op though, so I can see how it sounded. I don't think I've ever used the word trampy for anything!

I take umbrage at the word 'trashy' being used to describe my long blonde straight bra length locks whatever the excuse for using that particular word is.

It is offensive in any context however you dress it up.

Tantpoke to clarify, I was talking about my hair and my hair alone. Have you read my op? It's all about my hair... in fact I'm getting pretty bored of typing the words 'my hair'. All I wanted was help to decide whether to get my hair cut but thanks to some friendly posters here I've realised I can invest in some nice conditioner and focus on quality over length.

The word 'trashy' also just means 'poor quality' (dictionary definition) so can't be taken as offensive whatever the context. That's a ridiculous statement.

I think thr issue here is op that the words “trashy”and “trampy” when used in conjunction with being female means as a previous poster said, of dubious morals. Hence why your op looks so bad.

If you’d just said “ do you think long hair looks poor quality” as you’re now valiantly trying to say you meant, then fair enough, but it would be a illogical thing to ask really. Becayse quite clearly “low quality”would really be dependent on the health of the hair.

It's really a pointless debate isn't it? It's quite clear what was meant, in spite of the back-pedalling, because 'trash' doesn't really fit in with hair. It's already been pointed out that it would be to do with the quality of it, ie. the health as Bluntness has said.

Still, this is S&B isn't it, so... as you were.

OP - READ your thread title. You were obviously too bored then to mention your hair. It's generic.

and on that note

giphy.com/gifs/mic-d0NnEG1WnnXqg/fullscreen

Lying I didn't write 'Is my long hair trashy' because I try and keep titles short, but I made it clear in my op that I was asking about my hair and Bluntness I've already said I realised about the 'trampy' autocorrect. I didn't mean to type that. I'm sure you've both got better things to be doing than tearing down women asking for hair advice on the Internet. Haven't you?

Thanks to all the posters who helped with the actual hair issue.

Sure op, I think then to answer your question which you have clarified is “does my long hair look low quality” I think as none of us can see your hair it’s very hard to answer that. You could provide a picture maybe? Or maybe your hairdresser can help you determine its condition?

Fifteen years is a long time to be unsure of the condition of your hair to be honest, but yes, a picture or your hairdresser would be able to help.

Not sure what the fact you’re mid thirties, slim and tired looking has to do with whether your hair is in good condition or not though?

Wow.

I bet you're sorry you asked. There are obviously some raw nerves that you have inadvertently touched.

The general consensus seem to be that its all about the condition of the hair not the length of it.

Mulberrysilk I'm sorry my post was seen by Bluntness as she/he appears to want to make me feel dreadful, however I'm not sorry I asked as all the lovely helpful advice has enabled me to clarify (with myself) that it's the quality that will make most difference to whether my hair suits me and cheers up my tired face or drags it down. I've been inspired to try a new conditioner before a drastic haircut.

Haven’t read the whole thread but having read the OP and the word “trashy”, I assumed the poster was asking whether it looked a bit sad when someone who is no longer young clings on to a long hairstyle.

Indeed RoseWhiteTips that is exactly what is implied by the word - that or some other derogatory inference.

In fairness to the OP none of her posts have actually said anything of the sort. This thread was just yet another vehicle for some women who love to put other women down. I think this was unwitting and just unfortunate because it made 'trending' due to the (wrongly assumed) 'bun-fight potential' of the title. So I'm sorry to have waded in quite so stridently, Apples. I've clocked the nails-out posters though.

Apples, I have naturally curly hair too. It's the bane of my life. It's never looked 'trashy' but it has very often looked messy, unkempt and in poor condition - and as if I'd slept in a hedge. Nothing gets rid of split ends except a cut. My hair is now straightened as soon as it's dried from washing and is in better condition for it. I wear it up in a clip mostly.

Apples, I think the consensus is.... do what YOU want! If it’s healthy hair and you can manage it, keep it long. I always think for me, that a bob was my “no idea what to do with it” in-between look and as such I’d get bored and have it lopped off.

I found last time I had my hair very short 2015, that I felt every wrinkle was exposed. For me, that didn’t feel good.

And to me, trashy means “common” or “rough” but then, that’s just my age I suppose. I think a hair do can make a person look rough. Mine would if I didn’t wash it for a week!

No not at all. Trashy would be dependent on the person who carries it.

I also read "Trashy" as "trampy/cheap/etc" just a confusion of terms!
I do think it can look scraggly if not taken care of.

And to keep it looking nice I find I have to do a lot of protective styles and it ends up just being put up and I don't even get to enjoy the swishy length

Otherwise I think it can look a bit "sister wife-ish"

Trashy and trampy aren't words I'd use. Tacky on the other hand I do!

I think uber long extensions, especially the synthetic ones (even though they're ethically preferable to the real hair extensions) can often look a bit cheap and tacky.

I don't think long hair is tacky but I do think that long/beachy waves/footballer's wife circa 2011/ type hair looks pretty naff these days. The sort that Cheryl Cole used to have and Michelle Mone continues to have.

‘Tacky’ is fine as it’s non gender-specific, regardless of dictionary definitions being trotted out to defend its usage. Has anyone ever heard ‘trashy’ or ‘trampy’ casually applied to a bloke, or bloke-like traits?

No, I thought not.

My hair is more or less like this and I've never even considered the fact that my hair could be seen as trashy!!!!! I'm late 30's. I always thought people would be jealous of my long hair. Also I can do so many different styles

Naff.... yes I agree with that. That overblown “big” hair look. It looks like a person is trying too hard. Also, I wonder at the time needed to get that look? Surely, a working mum doing shifts and juggling kids/home/life doesn’t want to faff that much?

See tacky isn't what I was thinking of when I wrote the op. Tacky to me says cheesy rather than rubbishy (or the much hated trashy, ahem).

fixthefreezerdavid I'd be very happy with my long hair if it looked like yours. Like LyingWitchInTheWardrobe mine's curly and makes it look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards most of the time. And thanks Lying for the apology, I honestly had no idea this post would be contentious.

I'd use the word 'trashy' if I went into a pub, cafe, restaurant and the decor was well....trashy! A bit 'common' or in poor taste. Or a coat or bag that fell apart at the seams and was poor quality. I have never, and would ever, use it about a person. It's not in my vocab as a word that you use to describe a woman or a man.

This is imo a modern concept maybe used by younger people.