Things you really want to wear but just don't suit you

[Zeropiddledwhilehomeburned]

Today I received the following that I had ordered online - a pair of Hush harems, and a pair of Nike Internationalist trainers. I can wear these together, I thought, that will look good. So I duly tried them on and went to admire myself in the full length mirror.

I looked ridiculous. Like mutton dressed as lamb. I am 46, and have clearly learnt nothing from the time, about 28 years ago, when I ill-advisedly wore a pair of Soul II Soul tracksuit bottoms with some enormous Converse basketball trainers and got odd looks from people at sixth form college and complete strangers.

I still yearn for harem trousers and trainers though. Stupidly. Anyone else "suffer" similarly?!

[Therealslimshady1]

Black leather biker jacket

Makes me look tired and old and a bit sad

A shiny brown one however works really well! How and why?!

[MagicFajita]

Anything too dressy or matching , I look and feel like I'm wearing a uniform because I'm small and young looking.

Oh and clothing with no defined waistband , those lovely loose Cos dresses swamp me.

[LoniceraJaponica]

"Shift shape dresses. I have no chest, wobbly tummy and wide hips and thighs. A straight dress isn't a possibility."

Same here.

I had some harem pants but they made me look even more hippy. Boyfriend jeans do the same.

[gincamelbak]

I tried on some ankle length skinny trousers today. Just like all other skinny jeans or skinny trousers I have tried on, they didn't suit me.

I think it's because I'm top heavy - slim legs but a fairly big ribcage and large breasts. I have tried them wearing loose tops, tight tops, all sorts of tops. I look the same in all permutations: top heavy.

[HermioneN]

Every time I wear my hush harem pants dh and the dc sing 'you can't touch this' a la MC Hammer...

Fuckers.

[MikeUniformMike]

Suzi Quattro's fat nan! Love it.

[itssquidstella]

Anything with a round neck and long sleeves. I have small boobs but wide shoulders and all that unbroken material makes me look like a wall.

[Doobigetta]

The cliched "crisp white shirt" that's supposed to look cool and effortless just looks staid and matronly on me.
I'm not especially apple-shaped, but I look it in any kind of wrap top or tie belt.
Anything cut in a very square, straight way on my top half makes me look square and straight in a bad way. I need lines to be softened and rounded a bit. Although sharper lines are ok on my bottom half- probably because I'm bigger and curvier on the bottom.

Reading that back, I'm a weird shape these days. Nice and slim from the ribs up. Boxy round the waist (acquired in the last ten years), acceptably curvy in the hips and bum, and good legs. Like a cut-and-shut.

[Lottapianos]

Mamatobabes, try Revlon Lip Butter in Candy Apple. It's a very good starter red, nice and sheer but buildable. Don't worry if you think it looks a bit odd for the first few days, that's normal, you'll get used to it

[Suzietwo]

Oh Christ so much
Shirts
Blouses
Frills
Pan collars
Pleated skirts
Lace

Innocuous stuff you'd think would look good on anyone but makes me look like pat butchers earrings

[Mcakes]

Would love to be able to wear a simple tshirt without my chest looking like 2 puppies fighting in a sack. I am short and hourglassy so need something that shows I have a waist. Tailored, fitted stuff suits me best but sadly I am not a tailored, polished sort of person.

[NotInMyBackYard1]

Pleated skirts look dreadful on me too - I'm a slim size 10-12, very straight up and down, no waist no hips no boobs no bum - just straight! So pleated skirts seem to accentuate that I have no waist. I'm very sad about this and looked enviously at Holly Willoughbooby on IG today in her posh yellow satin one. Not fair!

[nigelsbigface]

Anything skater dress or tea dress shaped.ive got a wide waist if that's a thing-not fat from the side (or fat at all)but wide as you look at me from the front in the waist area...thus any dresses not structured look awful on me. Very annoying.

[popcornbag]

Dungarees. Thought I might look like Sharon Horgan out of Catastrophe but I just looked like a farmer.

[Dustbunny1900]

hermoineN 😂😂

[dibly]

Polo necks make me look like a character from Cluedo.
Stylish muted colours generally wash me out, and black is now too harsh. I basically suit anything structured which gives the illusion of curves, except for fitted shirts, which just don't work.

[DarthMaiden]

Pale nude lipstick.

My natural lip colour is quite a dark brownie pink colour.

I see all these beautiful pale nude colours and I look so washed out and frankly ill when I try them.

I’ve had to accept (that with a very few exceptions) any lipstick called “nude” isn’t going to work for me.

[NC4now]

Culottes. I look like I'd take off if I wasn't so chunky.

[DarthMaiden]

Oh and a fringe....

I’d love one, but have a cowlick on the front right of where a fringe would sit.

When I did have one cut in i just looked stupidly lobsided 90% of the time. I’d use product, dry it straight but within an hour the cowlick would fight out of its mouse/hairspray prison and I’d spend the day with half my fringe looking like the “gel” scene from the film “there’s something about Mary”.

[Almahart]

Shirt dresses. I look like a busty school marm. Pleated skirts - am an apple and they are unbelievably unflattering on me

[Peppermeant]

There are a lot of things I can't wear but dont really want to (red lipstick makes my teeth look yellower but I dont really like the colour red anyway; polo or high necks look terrible on my short neck but I don't like that preppy look so dont feel sad about it). However I would love to wear short shorts and skirts - I have proportionately huge thighs and anything above the knee looks terrible. Sleeveless tops ditto - I wear these but always self conscious of upper arms!

[SD68]

Hats! I'd love to be able to wear hats but have yet to find one that doesn't look stupid on me!

[justinelibertine]

Tailored cigarette trousers. Tailoring in general or even black 'work pants'. I look terrible. I'm 5"3 and a size 6/4 with a blonde bob and fringe. I look stupid. Like an 8 year old in mum's clothes. I struggle to get anything 'smart' like that. All trousers apart from skinny jeans or legging sag round my bum.

Also shoes. Court shoes. I my feet are a 2. And I'm thin of heel. They don't stay on.

I am more goth/punk here. And seem to manage red lipstick. I've got that skin tone. Glad I van manage something. I just look stupid at job interviews.

Oh and high necklines. I strangely have biggish boobs for my frame so they make me and my little head look terribly mismatched.

Fuck it! Pass me a binliner. I'd look better in that.

[JaceLancs]

Anything with a belt or seam even at the waist makes me short and dumpy
Bright lipstick
Pleats
Anything A line
Ballet pumps or anything with rounded toes