I think I'm becoming middle aged 'invisible' woman. Can anything be done?

[ProperLavs]

I turn 50 this month and have noticed, or perhaps I am choosing to notice , that when I am in shops sales assistants appear not to see me anymore. Not that long ago I would be pounced on and hassled, which although incredibly annoying I would rather that than be ignored.
I have heard that woman start to become 'invisible' as they age.
I think I look younger than my years, dress in a trendy but not silly way, certainly don't look frumpy, but something is happening.
Can anything be done?(Apart from wearing oversized sparkly glasses and a clown outfit).
if this has happened to you did you find a way round it?

Floisme - worse than being ignored by younger women, is having them say "bless" to me when I try to converse with them. It's so bloody patronising!

maybe I should start dressing like that brilliant older woman-American i think, who wears outrageous clothes and glasses. maybe I will have to up my game in the style department if i want to start being visible again.
perhaps it's a bit like having to work harder to keep in shape the older you get, you have to to put the extra work in to be noticed.

I actually don't want to be invisible. Having been in a shitty and abusive relationship for years and years where I became a nothing I actually want to feel that I am somebody.
I think it can be as facile as what you wear and how you hair is done ( must actually get my hair done).

I don't know if you're on instagram or not but there is a page called advanced style which I follow for inspiration.

pickleface I would like to see that. I did once try to set myself up with an instagram account and failed!

I cannot understand the attitude of some of you.

If I want to buy make up, or a computer in a shop, I don't stand around helplessly hoping someone will notice me. I'd walk up to a sales person, say" can you help me, I am thinking of getting a lipstick/ laptop", I have never been denied service ever.

Maybe the "invisibility" problem is to do with being too meek, standing around, waiting to be noticed like a 13 year old wallflower at a dance

I mean, come on ladies, just ASK or TELL what you want. Waiting to be noticed...it's kind of sad.

I have noticed that now I am edged towards late thirties, a different type of man will eye me up now. Older men who look more together than the oiks of previous years but I like that! In stores I think I have a very direct glance so people always stop to help but maybe that will change as I age. My mum is very similar to me though and she could never be invisible, she's far too noticeable. She now has mermaid hair too.

I can understand the invisible thing - starting to happen to me a lot now. Even to the point people bump into me in the street - it's as if I'm just not there! I feel as though I've reached a demographic where I'm regarded as less relevant in society because I'm no longer youthful. All a bit depressing.

I'm late 30's and feel invisible - have done since being pregnant

I don't get this either despite always believing I'm attractive, maybe something to do with never looking at men so never noticed if they're looking or not! Never been hassled in shops either.

I am mid 40s. I don't know if I am invisible. I think other people have never been that visible to me so I would probably not notice.
I don't think people treat me any differently and I feel the same as always. Is this more a loss of confidence thing?

I don't get the being looked over thing either- older people are the ones chatting and interacting wherever I go, with all ages. They have this confidence. The young people are the ones rushing around unnoticed not speaking to anyone.

I'm sure everyone who feels invisible knows how to get attention if they're not getting it. What they are saying is they did not previously have to literally get in the face of sales assistants to get the same attention.

Remember there is a good chance that not every occasion is down to your invisibility - most customer service is just shit at the moment.

I thought it was a thing like periods starting or the menopause - on your 50th you get the invisibility superpower.
No capes!

While loving that TV clip - "wanna hit City Bank, later?", I am finding it easier to get served at busy theatre bars, for some reason.

If you are truly finding it hard to get served, pick something up. Make like you're walking towards the doors.

Then politely ask the security guard if he could find something in your size.

I get it. I like being invisible now though. It's freeing. Realising how fickle people are also makes me wish I hadn't spent most of my life worrying about what they thought!

It's not about being served-it's really not. If I want to be served I'm quite capable of asking.
I wish some of you would read the full thread.

or maybe my invisibility is spreading to my posts which somehow can't be seen properly.

I am really not sure where the people feeling invisible are coming from. I am 61, but look a bit younger thanks to happy genes. I find young men help me and smile kindly, chat a bit. like they would for their gran. Men in their 70s flirt like teenagers. And perhaps I am dominant, as my DH and DS tell me, but beauty consultants etc (sniffing a good sale to the old lady who needs help) are usually very attentive. Even in MAC and Urban Decay, they are entranced by the idea that you can be old and still interested.

I think it's a pity the op is being taken so literally. I don't want to speak for her but I think this is about so much more than getting served in shops.

Sorry you've had a shit time op and sorry I can't advise on how to reverse this. I try and see the positive side: I like being able to walk into any bar or cafe or hang around any street corner without being hassled. I still take pride in doing my job well but no longer care about making a good impression. I've always been a bit of a watcher and now I take full advantage. I'm particular about my appearance and love my clothes but don't bother with anything I find tedious or uncomfortable so no to threading, waxing, painting nails and fake tan. And if my pension goes tits up I'm sure I could turn to crime and make a good living - no-one will ever be able to give a description!

Hm, I'm average looking. I find store staff are often disinterested in selling wares. I went to a shop to buy lighters a few days ago. Staff person was talking with someone who I presume was not staff but a friend. I went to the counter. Nothing. I said with a hello with a friendly smile on my face. Nothing. I went to where they were chatting, a whole 3 feet away but obscured by some display on the counter. I said hello again. The staff woman looked at me. I said "do you sell lighters?". She said "yes" and, I swear, she didn't move. I also didn't move, bizarrely now having to defend my quest, and said "may I buy some?". It was like watching an iceberg move. She was a young woman and I find this is truer more often then not for me. I get much better responses from men, generally, and have a 50/50 success rate with women who are not young.

Thank you flo, you get what I'm saying, thank God.

dudsville some shop workers are just bloody lazy.
last time I was in Selfridges and looking at a very expensive perfume counter the guy behind it couldn't have been more disinterested if he'd tried. This was despite me telling him that I already had a few of the perfumes ( so prepared to spend money).
I walked off and when I got home I emailed HQ and complained about him. I got some sort of pathetic 'we'll investigate and get back to you' email, but then heard nothing. So it seems all the customer relations are shit. I do suspect though that had I been dripping in jewellery and wearing designer clothes he would have paid more interest.

Totally disagree. Some sales assistants are just crap, and some aren't.

disagree with what exactly remus?

Your final sentence of previous post.