Crepey coalition of chaos

[herbaceous]

Roll up hags, for all things Hotter.

Maid They were class. Pure class. Nile Rogers has been involved in more number ones than we've probably had hot dinners. I was amazed at what they sang. He had more talent in his little finger than Katy Perry had in her whole crystal encrusted onesie on Saturday night. Lord knows how she's made it to where she is without some serious digital enhancement.

Here here. Nile Rogers for president! Totally agree about Katy Perry's so called talent. Chic are right up there. Have watched again this morning . Also wee Ed sheeren is a total I remember him when he first set out and was hanging about with our tech team drinking tea and being lovely. He does mountains for charity as well.

Ddad may get home today, but am pushing for him to stay in hospital until I manage to persuade mother to accept thee care package. Yes , here we are again, 18months since the last time pa was in hospital and they still can't see that they need help. There will definitely be an oxygen tank, and he will need his bp taken regularly. Mum is worried about how she can get to Tesco.she won't accept help in this regard from me or sis.

So yes, it would be safer and better all round if they kept ddad in for a bit longer.

Crem, how stressful. I say here and now I WILL accept help rather than out my family through this nonsense. It sounds as if they reinforce each other in this ridiculousness?

Yes they do Ms M, they don't want anyone to upset their world of continued denial. Ddad is Peter Pan and dm enables this. She won't say no to him. Even after nearly 55 years of marriage. They are both quick to anger, and defend their little coalition of chaos to the hilt. It exhausting. Meanwhile, I hear from their friends that it's an awful shame sis and I are 'too busy' to help out. This is nonsense. They will not accept anything from us. We have even been given money as a kind of ' here's some cash to leave us alone' la la land.

Awful behaviour, Crem, just awful.you write so vividly about them, I can almost see them

Oh Crem this is altogether too common. i always felt that it was the dynamics between Ddad and DM which was the worst for us to manage. I actually think that we would be better to spend less time writing our wills and more time writing some kind of advance directive about what to do if we get needy or lose capacity, which should include an imperative to Accept Help ffs. The tunnel vision of old age tolerates nothing and demands everything. I have told my kids in front of witnesses what I want and made a pact with BFF that the more able will deal very severely with the less able of the two of us, if we start being a nightmare to our DC. There won't be any money at the end of it (given that I want to go into a private home with 5 star hotel services....and wine...preferably in Hampstead or Highgate....) however they will have their sanity, I hope. You poor love Crem and you being ill yourself. . I have so been there. what can we do to help, sweetie?

Did my Boden sale haul this morning, early. As usual not all the things I wanted in my size left.

linen and cotton

good camouflage for fatties

being brave as don't normally go for green

Plus various bikinis for DD, which are very well reduced. She of course doesn't need a kaftan.

Looking forward to gels and a pedi this afternoon. The DC are at the mall, trying things on in Zara apparently. I have missed a delivery of a parcel which I think is my Plumo skirt. It's at the blinking sorting office for collection tomorrow...boo. Impatient. 😩

Oh Crem - I recall a very bossy and unpleasant friend of my PILs ringing up DH one Sunday evening, demanding to know where ON EARTH we'd been lately...

DH tersely replied that we'd just arrived home after having spent the weekend with PILs

Rise above it, Crem (Easier said than done)

I took myself off Boden mailing list - forgot they had sale. May go and check them out.

Oh Cremo sorry to hear about parents - not what you need on top of everything else....

Oh crem, that kind of sitch with parents is just so discombobulating. And the 'helpful' friends are just the last straw.

I have managed to leave my phone at work, so cannot do any Wattsapp action.

Nice day at school - it was an inset day, so no children. Shame it can't be like that all the time.

Crem, you may recall me literally weeping over similar Helpful Friends of my mum's.

It is only daughters who get the wrath of Helpful Friends. I am sure my mother's neighbours see me as some kind of bored housewife who floats about doing coffee mornings and getting my nails done, rather than holding down a not undemanding job and bringing up two children.

Herbs, .

Rose - nice haul.

Land's End sale has also started.....

Oooh and MrsW, at muggles. My family know I have "internet friends" and dd has discussed MN with your dd, but doesn't know details. I will look out for you too - we are on the Monday (dd is JH but think she graduates with your dd's subject?).

Herbs, those kind of days are the best

Cremo, so sorry you are having to go through all this again. And I know it's not easy to ignore guilt-inducing friends, but they are talking bollocks and you are doing all you can

I fear you are right about your mother's friends, MrsK.

I know, having experienced it and taken it on board , that the best thing to do is disconnect, But you can't, can you. I can with dd to an extent. She is being a dick more than anything tbh it's added bitching. With dps I feel like I am an outsider. It's the way mum will write and post me a thank you note for giving her something, as if I am a distant aunt, not her daughter. #weird
I do remember MI, re your DM's helpful friends. it burns though, doesn't it?
Disconnect.......

Ooh good haul Rosen. Particularly the green ( peacock, if you will) dress. Very swish.having done a bit of a scan, I can't see anything I really need, so should really not look as I'm into the dangerous territory of 'misery buying' Not good.

Sainsbury's and Ikea today. Need to stockpile coffee ( from Ikea) to keep me going and to bring a flask to dad, who hates hospital tea. Afair it's the only good thing about hospital. He is just being thran.

Have checked in to overpriced hotel for dds graduation tomorrow. You can tell it's overpriced when they give you a glass of prosecco as you sign the form to get the room key. Still, it's one week with an overexcited captive audience so you can't really blame them for making the most of it. I paid on booking - not sure I had a choice to be fair - which does mean that part of the cost is a dim and distant memory.

Sympathy re aged ps Crem. Mine are the same, unwilling to accept any help from any source. Having thought about it I am fairly sure it's tied up with my granny's death - my grandpa looked after her on his own until they were both in their 80's and she had severe dementia. He was finally persuaded to put her in a home for respite to deal with his own health problems. She didn't last a fortnight and my grandpa always blamed himself - if he hadn't been so selfish she would have still been alive. I think a combination of this plus the fact that I don't think my dad could contemplate living without my mother makes him resistant to any discussion about help or need for help. And I'm not going to create a row whilst they are coping, even if I think they would find life much easier with help. My sil doesn't get this but I think she comes from a home where rows are normal and doesn't appreciate the damage it would cause my brother's relationship with our parents. Fortunately he does.

I was going to go swimming. I now realise I am going to go bed. And DD1 has just texted me to say her boyfriend has broken up with her.

Oh dear, MI, how was she coping? I have just read the thread from the start as I have been so busy over the last ten days or so - I hope what I have read has penetrated my brain, but I doubt it! Nice to see you, Crem and Auriga, but I hope you are both coping with your pain better now?

It's raining heavily here so I am afraid we took DGD2 into Newcastle and mooched around the shops and the market, not very exciting when you're four, but alleviated by a visit to the JL cafe for a drink and a cake.

I think she's not heartbroken but is a bit upset. Imagine she'll stay out with friends and sleep there (she texted to ask). Girly company important at these times!

A year! I didn't manage a relationship of any length at all until I went out with my First Love at 20. And that only lasted five months or so. I was devastated when we split up and spent all of my time in bed listening to Roxy Music and crying. He died a couple of years ago from a brain tumour.

Oh god that is sad.

My first love - who broke my head at 15 - lives in Ludlow near his brother, who is a FB friend of mine, but refuses my airy hints to get in touch so I have to scrutinise photos to try and find out what he looks like now.

HEART not head!!

It have a food recommendation request.

My sis is taking me and DS to Matilda on Sunday. So we thought we'd have lunch first. Where's a good place nearby (to Seven Dials) that does kid-friendly food but also good stuff for grown ups?

Sounds like lovely outing Herbs - isn't yr DS a discriminating micro gourmet who can be taken anywhere?

Mi, fwiw, dd said recently she thought she preferred being dumpee to dumper.

flipflops, have I already mentioned the splendidly, competitively crepey convo I had with a couple of yr friends on Saturday about who was dressed in the best layers fr a summer BBQ garden do.