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Original poster

Does anyone else wish those who wish to sneer on S&B just wouldnt bother

141 replies

DeidreInaQuandry · 25/05/2017 09:35

Or maybe MNHQ could set up a sub-forum: Style & Sneer

I'm sick of the threads about looking mumsy, frumpy, too old for this, don't shop here, fashion no nos. Yes, I know I don't have to open the thread. Yes, I may commit some of these supposed fashion faux pas.

I just think there are a lot of threads started to make people feel a bit shit about themselves. And others to make the posters feel superior.

OP posts:
BusterGonad · 25/05/2017 16:37

Well said about M&S Vintage.
I don't think it's sallow Nutty to care about clothes and make up, for some people it gives them the confidence to face the day, I know when I leave the house in a bright lipstick I feel like I can take on the world, I wouldn't call caring about clothes and make up as caring so much about so little. That's like saying any hobby or interest is worthless unless it's YOUR hobby or interest.

taybert · 25/05/2017 16:39

nuttyknitter, might be best not to bother reading any more then! It's just a hobby and it's perfectly valid to care about it just as much as cyclists care about bikes or art lovers care about paintings. It isn't any more shallow than any other interest. I think most people here see it as fun. It doesn't mean they don't care about anything else or even that they think it's really "important". They're still allowed to spend time on it.

Rhubarbara · 25/05/2017 16:42

Vile and Snooty works too Grin

SinglePringle · 25/05/2017 16:43

Nutty I care about world politics. I just chose to look good whilst doing so.

S&B probably isn't your home on the internet.

VintagePerfumista · 25/05/2017 16:50

I care lots about politics.

I also spend more on perfume than I do on shoes --and sometimes food-

The two aren't mutually exclusive.

I am a bit of a S&B anomaly I suppose. I only had 2 pairs of shoes and one was Ecco Grin until I saw those lovely Menorcan sandal threads, now I have 3. And I last went to a hairdresser in 2005. Now I just go into the bathroom with a big pair of scissors and a box of L'Oreal Excellence.

But I have 9 serums and about 200 perfumes.

Spudlet · 25/05/2017 17:31

Oh no. We have all been rumbled. People who sometimes want to read and talk about clothes etc are all shallow and silly, and can't possibly care about anything else. That is why Theresa May is only ever seen wearing a sack and would never, ever do a photo shoot in a fashion mag - why, her brain would melt and she'd never, ever have an opinion on politics ever again. Sad

CrispyBathTowel · 25/05/2017 17:41

I think you're missing the point of the Style and Beauty sub-forum nutty. It's very shallow (and judgemental and presumptuous) just to assume that because I like clothes/beauty that I don't care about world politics or current affairs. I post in the appropriate sub-forums about those things

nina2b · 25/05/2017 18:20

Some people are aggrieved with because they wear some of the unstylish things mentioned. Honestly, don't take it so seriously.

Swimminguphill · 25/05/2017 18:22

I think the knitting person has touched on an important issue. I mean who is to say what is or is not important. Life is all pretty arbitrary really, a value system is arbitrary. In the end nothing actually means anything. But then from within our arbitrary value system, what is the ratio of 'important' to 'not important' that anyone needs in their life st any one time? I got addicted to S&B when my friend died suddenly and violently. It just felt like a safe space to go when I felt like the world was crumbling around me. Then Brexit. Then Trump. I like that fluffy feeling. I like that the worst thing that can happen on S&B is a truly awful cut and colour or shoes that don't match your dress or aren't work appropriate. Although I did feel really sorry for the person whose aesthetician attacked her face with under cooked wax. Essentially, my point is - as you were everyone.

VikingVolva · 25/05/2017 18:41

"You don't have to signal a social conscience by looking like a frump. Lace knickers won't hasten the holocaust, you can ban the bomb in a feather boa, just as well without, and a mild interest in hemlines doesn't necessarily disqualify you from reading Das Kapital and agreeing with every word."

However choices of attire are not made without reference to society's norms and whether you follow them or flaunt them (or both, to some degree), whether you want to identify with a group, or distance yourself from it. You cannot do anything (much) about your body and inherent looks, but your voluntary choices and impressions they create are, in their way, political.

WomblingThree · 25/05/2017 19:34

I agree with you about VintagePerfumista. If it had been from Cos (which seems to be shop du jour) then people would have been queuing to buy it.

The only problem I have with S&B is that there seem to be a few self-appointed leaders, and their opinions are the only ones that count. Take Cos for instance 😉. I've never shopped there, but I think the stuff on the website is hideous. As do quite a few other people. In swoop the "bosses" to tell us it's absolutely not hideous, it's amazing, better in real life. Then someone else says it's all expensive polyester tat, but again they are shouted down, as everywhere else sells worse polyester tat. I can't help thinking that some posters are just shills for whatever brand is paying them this week. There are days when the whole board just feels like a giant advert.

SilentlyScreamingAgain · 25/05/2017 19:51

I don't think the value system is in the least random, it's amazingly gendered. If a woman spends her money on something stereotypically male (and I understand that there are just stereotypes), for example a car that costs many multiples of what the most basic car would cost if she flys to Paris to see a rugby match or buy sports equipment, those purchases are seen as signs of her success. If she has the audacity to buy a Westwood coat or too much Tom Ford, she is a selfish, shallow cow.

We are taught to remind each other that things associated with women are crap.

MartinRohdesBellybuttonFluff · 25/05/2017 19:56

I've had a few stinging comments in the past on S&B but 99.9% of pp's are constructive, supportive and lovely in the true spirit of MN.

I too am very interested in politics, current affairs and art. I have a 3yo who is autistic and get very little sleep and no breaks from the worries associated with having a child with SN's, so S&B is pure escapism for me. I get to indulge a tiny bit in something that causes no harm and takes my mind away from my worries, albeit momentarily. What's so bad about that?

Swimminguphill · 25/05/2017 20:00

silentlyscreaming arbitrary not random, as in value is assigned rather than inherent

Swimminguphill · 25/05/2017 20:04

Which, tbf, you have beautifully illustrated with your comment so we are actually angrily agreeing with each other...

OlennasWimple · 25/05/2017 20:10

The two sub-boards I post in most are Feminism Chat and S&B - go figure

friendlyflicka · 25/05/2017 20:16

I feel like I'm reading a different board from this.

I think the Cos addicts are no more superior than the Saltwater sandal wearers and when I started on here, it was all Boden. I don't think there is anything sinister going on and I don't really notice leaders. That is why I like this board. Lot of humour, very relaxed.

I absolutely adore make up and perfume and fashion, also adore lots of other things.

I find the pets boards very bossy with a party line. I find this a much happier more democratic place.

Floisme · 25/05/2017 21:48

'Don't follow leaders, watch your parking meters.'
Bob Dylan

Haffiana · 25/05/2017 21:49

And don't forget - we come to S&B so that we can be 'persuaded' to do some more shopping! AIBU, Chat and Relationships will not do this...

SuperFlyHigh · 25/05/2017 21:56

I don't notice the sneery posts on S&B, been coming here ages and ok, most people hate Boden etc, hate the M&S pink dress but they seem be expressing the opinions of the majority on S&B.

I'm sure there is the odd poster here who loves that M&S pink dress and fine, good on him or her!

I've never rarely seen posters saying you shouldn't bare ankles or not wear x socks with x shoes/trainers etc

Some places you know are good for cheap fixes and trends (New Look, cold shoulder etc) but most of S&B's are old enough to know if that they really want to shop there for either that style or something else then they know their own mind and can do so, and aren't sheep. Rant over!

SuperFlyHigh · 25/05/2017 22:00

Wombling I HATE Cos! Grin and on another thread I'm on I think to do with lack of fashion (Sali Hughes article?) on high street, a few of us have lamented Cos offerings and the way the models pose on the website.

I don't think some posters shill for brands here but then again I'm not here as much as I could be so I could well be wrong.

At the end of the day I'm very much my own person when it comes to fashion and would rather slit my wrists than wear a Breton striped top, converse or Ash trainers etc

TheLuminaries · 25/05/2017 22:04

I love S&B and thought the M&S dress thread was a hoot. I think it is great to see women of all ages and shapes having fun and taking the mickey out of a silly piece of clothing. It is the essence of S&B - enjoying clothes but not taking them too seriously.

I also think Cos gets just as much of a slagging as any shop. Any thing that is reviled will have its defenders.

Apart from waterfall cardigans -am I correct that S&B is united against waterfall cardigans?

needastrongone · 25/05/2017 22:10

Great post martin.

HappyAxolotl · 25/05/2017 22:39

For basic reasons of decency and warmth, we all need clothes. As they need to be washed, we need more than one outfit. And due to society's conventions that most of us do follow to some extent, we need different styles of clothing for work, casual socialising and more formal events. And fabric does wear out or get stained and needs to be replaced.

Therefore we all need to shop for clothes and use time & money on doing so. So why the heck not buy things that we like looking at and enjoy wearing? It still costs time and money to buy boring garb that doesn't fit or flatter so what makes it more worthy than spending it on something you look and feel your best in?

Sorry but I have never got the argument that caring bout your appearance means you are shallow in all aspects of life. Of course it is possible to have more than one interest in your life.

FlindersKeepers · 25/05/2017 23:37

I'm on here for the Hush reviews, far better than on the website.
Now if #teambirkies could tell me how they manage to not have the insoles dye the bottom of their feet orange in humid weather, I'd be even happier...

(I don't understand the general viscose/modal/Lyocell hatred either, I mean even Cos uses it. Put me off flagging up brilliant work tops from Lands End, it has.)