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Style and beauty

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Original poster

Does anyone else wish those who wish to sneer on S&B just wouldnt bother

141 replies

DeidreInaQuandry · 25/05/2017 09:35

Or maybe MNHQ could set up a sub-forum: Style & Sneer

I'm sick of the threads about looking mumsy, frumpy, too old for this, don't shop here, fashion no nos. Yes, I know I don't have to open the thread. Yes, I may commit some of these supposed fashion faux pas.

I just think there are a lot of threads started to make people feel a bit shit about themselves. And others to make the posters feel superior.

OP posts:

BusterGonad · 25/05/2017 10:29

Surely if you are asking people's opinion on a pair of shoes though Maud on MN you've got to expect some people to react in that way? I would never ask anyone's opinion on here, No1 I don't want to hear it and No2 if I like it that's all I need to know.

Djangor · 25/05/2017 10:31

I think a lot of the apparently unkind comments are simply due to the fact that most people can't be bothered to add "in my opinion" or something similar to their comments. Everyone has different taste after all - whether it is food, music or clothes & with clothes we all have different body shapes, heights etc, so different styles are going to suit different people as well. My opinion in clothes changes regularly anyway eg I thought playsuits & jumpsuits unlikely to catch on as they seemed daft at first sight & I now regularly think women look great in evening jumpsuits etc.

CrispyBathTowel · 25/05/2017 10:31

How should it be worded though? A poster asks for an opinion on a pair of sandals which I don't like (I won't name any particular brand). I think they are awful so respond with 'I don't like them and wouldn't wear them'

It's my honest opinion which I was asked for. I'm not meaning to be sneery. What should I say instead then? Say nothing so that the OP gets a thread with only positive responses telling her how lovely her awful sandals are?

In the same vain, people can't expect to have everyone agree with them all the time. I have a pair of shoes that I've posted which a lot of MNers dislike - I still love them and carry on wearing them regardless. Though I didn't post asking for an opinion of them - it was given anyway

newdocket · 25/05/2017 10:32

Hmmm. I think that if someone comes on saying 'do you like these shoes', it's fair game to say 'no, I think they are horrible' if that's what you think.

I'm less keen on people saying 'you can't wear this if you're over this size/age etc. But again, I suppose it's just people voicing an opinion, you don't have to take any notice.

Maudlinmaud · 25/05/2017 10:34

Absolutely Buster that is why I don't ask. I'm comfortable with my sartorial choices, not really bothered what others think. My reply was tongue in cheek really but I forgot the

BusterGonad · 25/05/2017 10:35

It's like the M&S pink dress that is universally hated, but I can see why people/newspapers etc like it, it is very high fashion at the moment, so it's not going to appeal to everyone.

BusterGonad · 25/05/2017 10:36

I did reread it Maud and the shoe picture in question made me think that! Lol. But I was still not 100%. I'd never post on S&B asking peoples opinions, I don't usually even ask my friends or husband. I love my clothing choices and they make ME happy!

JaneJeffer · 25/05/2017 10:39

But sugarbeep there was also a thread where people who were 5'4" stated their weight and dress size and we were all different shapes so I don't think you should let comments like that upset you. Two people can wear the same thing and it will look great on one and awful on the other.

Maudlinmaud · 25/05/2017 10:39

Buster aren't they desperate though, those shoes? Pretty bad? Yes?

seoulsurvivor · 25/05/2017 10:41

If you are insecure, you'll feel shit when people pick on things you like.

If you feel secure, you won't give a shit.

It helps not to take life quite so seriously.

Hassled · 25/05/2017 10:42

I think the posters on S&B are often incredibly generous with their time and knowledge in a very supportive sort of way. So someone posts a dress for a wedding, say, asking if it's OK (and tbh the poster wouldn't have posted if there weren't already a few doubts) and yes, some people will say "god no, that's awful" but they'll also come up with alternative suggestions and recommendations. I don't think it often happens when it's a "god no, that's awful" response without any follow up.

BusterGonad · 25/05/2017 10:43

I've got those shoes Maud, I'm wearing them to Ritzy's tomorrow night!

HoneyDragon · 25/05/2017 10:48

I don't think there's any more or less bitch plopping on S&B than any other sub forum. And the odd bitch plop is far outweighed by positive and helpful comments and suggestions.

Maudlinmaud · 25/05/2017 10:52

Sucks to be you Buster they are so nice.

BusterGonad · 25/05/2017 10:57

They are gorgeous Maud!

doubleshotespresso · 25/05/2017 11:00

I think that generally MNHQ do a great job of policing threads.... but also think that as women consistently barraged by utterly unachievable style ideals the S&B pages naturally hit a vulnerable nerve for many, I can see if you're having a crap day and not overly body-confident they may read badly.

Let's face it we are mostly here on MN when planning or having had children and unlike the celebrities we see every day it is rare to be back in your skinny jeans within a week, we all have little hang-ups instead of celebrating our achievements.

I think that posters are largely helpful in their intentions but a good rule for all to adopt would be for poster only to comment as they would to you in person. Kindness costs nothing and is far more constructive in these subjects.

S&B is as much about confidence as it is about trends, labels and size.

IMHO of course

Original poster

DeidreInaQuandry · 25/05/2017 11:10

There's a difference between offering an opinion and being generally sneery.

OP posts:

CiderwithBuda · 25/05/2017 11:19

I also think that we forget the massive age range on here. And that we will all like different things regardless of age.

I am sure that an slim early 20s poster won't necessarily like the same stuff as me aged 53 and not slim!

I'm about to buy a couple of pairs of linen trousers which seem to be hated by some people on here. But they are in the shops every year so someone likes them!

I have two maxi dresses from Per Una from about five or six years ago bought as a result of a thread slagging off Per Una! . I must admit I smile to myself whenever I wear them!

I love my Birkenstocks. Some people hate them. I don't like Saltwaters but wouldn't slate anyone who does.

Judydreamsofhorses · 25/05/2017 11:20

I love S&B and rarely read/post anywhere else, unless a trending thread title particularly gets my interest. I think the overall vibe is generally kind and supportive, but I am often surprised when people just say something along the lines of "that's vile" when someone asks for opinions on an item. Equally, I am sometimes bemused when a person wants the opinion of people they've never met - and who will have widely varying tastes - on a specific thing. I totally understand threads like "do these shoes go with this dress?" or "can I wear X and Y together?", but the "does this dress look cheap?" or similar are just opening the floor for unkind comments.

MrsLogicFromViz · 25/05/2017 11:21

I get a bit fed up with some of the comments directed at Birkenstock wearers on here at times. Personally, I luffs 'em, but when certain contributors categorically state that their wearers are dirty/hippy/skanky then I tend to get rather

specialsubject · 25/05/2017 12:06

fashion is a joke and should be treated as such. Most high-fashion stuff is quite laughable - doesn't mean it shouldn't be worn.

Never found that real life laughs at practical clean tidy clothes. Or no-one I would be seen dead with, anyway.

knowler · 25/05/2017 12:50

I haven't noticed any real sneeryness. I like S&B - obviously you're going to get differences of opinion, but quite often that's what the OP is looking for.

I recall a recent thread which i'm not even sure was a S&B one from someone setting up some kind of beauty product related company and going round to sell to salons. She intended to wear a logo-d polo shirt to do that. The all-round reaction was "Christ, noooooooo". It wasn't sneery at all, but she had totally the wrong idea of the image she needed to project. I'd like to think she found it helpful, not sneery, but some of the posts were pretty forthright. but what's the point in beating around the bush, when someone's got a really bad idea?

MissWilmottsGhost · 25/05/2017 13:04

I quite like reading the threads on s&b despite the fact that I hate fashion/shopping/make up in RL

I disagree with a lot of what is said on here but, as pp said, there is a huge age range posting. What I wear now at 45 is almost certainly not what I would be wearing if I was 20, and if I saw a 20 year old dressed like I do, no doubt I would wonder why they are dressed like a middle aged lady.

I did laugh at the 'trainer socks must not show' comments, but then most 'fashion' seems completely impractical and unwearable to an active person like me. I will continue to wear leggings with a dress so I don't show my pants, and socks with my trainers so I don't get blisters, thanks

nothingwittyhere · 25/05/2017 13:10

I agree with you OP. Eg the thread about little things that kill a style (which as usual started reasonably) promptly got hijacked by the usual Croc haters and so on. I really wish there weren't so many threads bitching about specific items or brands. If there was a way to block all M&S Hate threads I'd use it.

Spudlet · 25/05/2017 13:10

Some S&B threads touch a few exposed nerves for me, but when I've posted (twice recently!) stressing about funeral outfits, people have been nothing but kind. So there's good and bad everywhere. IMO.

I still love my dungerees though

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