Flippin norks...

[MaQueen]

So, decided I needed a bit of an image overhaul to kick start 2017. I have been following a couple of style blogs littlefashioncloset & my fashionableforties, after someone recommended them on here.

I love how they style their clothes, and I love that they mainly wear black, grey, navy & taupe, and keep things simple. I ordered a few items they recommended, and an oversize, grey cardi from H&M arrived today.

They style it with a black, striped Breton or a blush pink, lacy camisole, black skinnies and biker boots.

Tried on the whole ensemble....and it would look great except for my bleddy 34G norks . It completely passed me by, that these bloggers have no boobs so everything falls very stylishly on them.

In this oversized cardi and cami they manage to look pixie-petite and dainty...whereas, I just look matronly (I think?).

DH likes the camisole

Thing is I'm on heavy-duty HRT so there's little chance of my norks shrinking anytime soon, even if I diet.

I wanted a similar one from Zara which is the one featured in those blogs. It's a slightly boxier shape, with larger buttons, but it is sold out.

At least it's not a waterfall cardigan...

Look. Stop trying to convince yourself, you couldn't get the cardigan you wanted so bought one on the rebound. We've all done it. But it doesn't mean you have to stay with it.

Big cardigans are difficult. I've thrown a couple away, one from cos, one from Topshop. They have to be cut perfectly and they are something that really can't be cheap because you do look like a tragic copy of a teenager wearing her boyfriends clothes. No one can get away with that except possibly Anna Kendrick.

I found that a minimiser bra made me look flatter and fatter

Pepperberry fits my boobs but the length is way too short in dresses .i need 107 cms to reach my knee and most dresses measure 90 95 or 98cms.Tops just skim my jeans /trousers.im afraid to wash clothes at this stage as there is always shrinkage.

Watching with interest - as the 40 something owner of a fine pair of 36FFs I sympathise with the inability to look anything other than matronly or tarty .

It's a transitional cardigan, it's not the one.

Wearing it with a camisole will make you look top heavy and at the risk of exposing boobage. I sympathise, my boobs are, erm, pretty out there.

Can you find a shop that you like and book some time with one of their stylists to get some ideas?

Ah, the camisole and chunky cardie look - I've not yet found the magic cardigan either to achieve this look. Also my 32G rack kinda spoils the line

I'm only 5ft 2" so my bust is disproportionately, eye catchingly large.

I made a humungous mistake the other day of catching myself nekkid in the mirror without my sturdy underwire bra on - the result of age, pregnancy and breastfeeding was not a pretty site (I would cry of it didn't make my crepey eyes puffy). Without the scaffolding, they hang several inches lower FFS, they used to be an attraction in my youth, now they're likely to turn stomachs.

A recent consolation was buying several Debenhams bras in the sale for the price of an H&M shirt that I had to return because it instantly turned me into Hattie Jakes (? Carry On matron).

Are you just changing your style as you are worried about age? I don't like the you must wear this because you hit x age thoughts. Especially if it is causing so much stress. I have large 32F's and find camisole with thinner jumpers over the top usually work. So the camisole has to ensure not too much cleavage and helps contain the boobs.

I also tried to tidy up a bit. Simple changes helped. Boots with my jeans instead of trainers. Pea coat instead of my parka. I will still wear trainers and parka or hoodies etc just not all the time. Sometimes the try to hard just for school run looks worse than the bunged on my trainers look.

Another large norker here. Where have people bought a minimiser bra? Bravissimo don't seem to do them and I don't want to go to m and s for a fitting.

Bras - Figleaves or Bra stop for usual size. My favourite brands are Freya, Fantasie, Curvy Kate and a particular Triumph bra - Amourette. Some styles in M&S are OK but you will have to try on 6000 on to see what size as it will vary for each style. My sister (significant norkage being a common theme in our family) recently got lucky at a local independent shop run by a Mrs Slocombe type. HTH

I think minimiser bras just push the breast tissue into your arm pits so your torso looks fatter. Avoiding raglan or dropped shoulders helps.

I live in thin'ish longline vest tops or thin'ish deep v neck longline clingy tops. They have to be thin to keep the bulk up top down. Always with, depending on the season, skinnies, a mini with opaques or a maxi tube skirt when it's hot. I get sick of the sight of myself in the same bloody outfit. If it's really cold i put on a thin'ish cardi. NOT waterfall, but bum length all round.

I have to keep my tops long - just below hip length - to counteract the size of boob. The low hem makes an illusion that my boobs are higher (in my mind!). Short tops - of any kind - just look awful. The top must manage to go back in under the bust to the rib and waist and not swing free or i look truly vast.

The number of times i have bought or tried on a nice chunky jumper, high neck, cozy looking, only to be rewarded with the sight of myself looking like a huge knitted ball on stick legs.

I love the look of 'gypsy' tops. Floaty tops. Short vest tops. Roll neck tops. Polo neck tops. Round neck tops. Classic shift dresses. Empire line summer dresses. None of these are ok on me. It has to be the fucking v neck or the long vest top.

It's sooooo boring. Even with necklaces as pp say; they have to be an exact certain length. Very careful with chunky ones.

Bras - yes, curvy kate (but go up a cup size) freya ect. Try on in the big department stores and then buy cheaper online. (orry department stores)

Can i just rant about sainsbury's bloody bras? They DO make a lovely all lace full cup (but a bit plungy) bra which proudly says 'Up To F Cup' on the packaging. £8. I was desperate for a white bra in the summer, bought the 40F and altered the back myself down to a 34/36. (I'm wearing it right now actually.) Very comfy, but how ridiculous.

Do they ever have the F in fecking stock? No.
Do they even make the F in smaller than 36 back? No.

All these new amazing colours and designs every time i walk by the undie dept every week and i can have precisely NONE of them. I'm a 34/36 G/GG.

that was meant to say Sorry department stores.

Laiste Ditto to everything you've said in your first post! I'm a 12 and a 30H. I have a very small range of styles in my wardrobe!

I don't get the hate for waterfall cardis tbh, I'm a 34g and the shape and how they hang is really flattering on me!

It's a sad fact of life that if you've got big boobs, you're never gonna look high fashion as its designed for a completely different body shape...

I hear ya
I'm a 36FF and 5 foot 4
I so wanted to buy a lovely chiffon blouse from h and m yesterday
High neck and 3/4 sleeves
I would have looked like Ann widdicombe

I will never be fashionable - fashion is not made for women with breasts - it's made for women who have the build of pubescent boys

I'm a 32G. I used to read those sorts of blogs but had the same issue as you - different figure and I couldn't see myself in any of the things they were wearing.

I've found that reading plus-size blogs is much more inspiring. I'm a size 14 and tall, so not plus size, but these women have boobs and are unapologetic about them! Try Terrible Tumbles or Fuller Figure Fuller Bust. I find it really refreshing seeing women who aren't a 'standard' 8/10/12 wearing and enjoying clothes and looking good.

Me and my 32g Mirka are just dropping in to say hi and listen out for pointers ... recently stopped feeding dc3 and reassessing wardrobe amidst changing shape. I don't seem to have gone down in size so much as gone down in nipple location. Literally. Did the minimiser thing in my youth but now need to hoik up in order to distinguish from my waist rather than meld the 2 together.

To add fun, only the left side is a 32 g. The right side is 2 sizes smaller. I store my phone there when I don't have pockets

Mirka???? Wtf? Norks. I don't even know what a Mirka is, autocorrect...

Gah...okay, okay. I shall exchange the Cardigan of Death for a simple v neck (fuckity, fuckity v necks...) thin sweater from H&M instead. The blush pink camisole has arrived, and is beooutiful...large enough to encase the norks...but correspondingly vast and flapping around my torso

However, it works well under a grey cashmere v neck sweater I have.

Waterfall cardigans aren't necessarily eviiiiil, but it's so tricky to get it right. I have one from The White Company, where the ends fall to mid thigh, and it looks good with one end casually pinned over to the opposite shoulder.

But I have a longer one from Zara and I look like I;ve just enrolled at Hogwarts...

laiste yes, my tops have to be a specific length, they need to sit just below hip length. Problem is I have a short torso, but long legs - so proportions are really tricky. If I don't wear a balcony bra my boobs droop a goodly way down my (already) short torso, merging attractively into my bowl-of-suet-esque tummy.

If I do wear a balcony bra, I look like I've had disproportionally large implants, as my shoulders are narrow (and yes, I have been asked if they're fake).

I'm desperate for a romantically, soft Victoriana blouse...but I know it's just going to make me look like Joan Simms playing Miss Marple.

Have you tried more fitted stuff?

What about, say, a checked shirt?