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Original poster

Looking Good, Feeling Crepe.

998 replies

CointreauVersial · 23/01/2017 12:55

New thread, anyone?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
19
MrsSchadenfreude · 05/02/2017 22:43

Have just phoned my mother. As if this weekend wasn't bad enough, she has made me feel like the shit of a daughter she has previously told me that I am. Apparently the staff at the hospital were "absolutely shocked" that I hadn't come with her and were "appalled" that I wasn't going to be there when she got home. The nurses "couldn't believe ithat she was going to have to go home in a taxi to an empty house, and kept saying that "surely your daughter will come and look after you"." Because that is what daughters are for, isn't it, to drop everything, ignore their own family and their jobs and just rush to be by their mother's side when needed. Like she did for her own mother. Not.

BeachysSnowyWellieBoots · 05/02/2017 22:49

Mrs S, those words come through your mothers filter, please remember.... they would not have sent her home if it wasn't possible for her to manage....

I don't even want to mention the fact that if she hadn't pissed all over her friends, there may well have been someone local who could have been there for her.

Seriously, is there a 'care agency' who could be used in the next few weeks? We used Universal Aunts for ddad after an operation. Maybe a possibility?

MrsSchadenfreude · 05/02/2017 22:54

Beachy, I agree that they wouldn't have let her home if they hadn't thought she was able to cope, and thinking rationally, given the number of people that live alone, she can't have been the first to go back to an empty house. I don't actually think she will need a carer (and would certainly resist one). She is almost certainly quite sore now, but I am sure this will improve over the next few days.

Original poster
CointreauVersial · 05/02/2017 23:55

MrsS, please don't let her guilt-trip you like this.

OP posts:
Auriga · 06/02/2017 00:41

MrsS, happy birthday (belated). Sorry, I've missed the reason for your DM's hospital visit but I'm afraid I don't believe the nurses said one word of that. Not remotely plausible. You are being played.

I'm in a hotel after a horrible journey. Some weeks ago I agreed to work away for a few days. I regret it now & was v tearful earlier, as I wrenched myself away from cosy home.

The Comeback Cat has staged another dramatic recovery from the brink of death in the last 48h but DH keeps reminding me she can't do this forever Sad I've devoted lots of time to cuddles and strokes but she won't let DH or DD do this.

On a brighter note, we triumphed at the orchestra quiz night and it was bloody good fun.

Have a good week everyone.

motherinferior · 06/02/2017 06:57

MrsS, I think some nurses pull that schtick as a matter of course - they tried when my dad had his hip op. My mum, to her credit, said MY DAUGHTERS ARE WORKING WOMEN AND WE ARE ENTITLED TO TRANSPORT SO PLEASE ARRANGE IT.

Auriga, I owe you an apology: I dreamed you turned up and I'd forgotten I had invited you to dinner. GrinBlush

Cremolafoam · 06/02/2017 07:32

Mrs S, there's no way they'd send your dm home , unless she can cope alone.otherwise they'd have sorted her a care package. Big GUILT TRIP . Don't entertain it. Sorry your birthday has been hijacked yet again, by nastiness.Sad

Auriga, hope you are ok.

Beachy, summertime baby? Can The Internet really know these things?Confused

Blackduck · 06/02/2017 07:37

MrsS sorry Bday was so rubbish - at least my lot managed breakfast in bed, cards and dinner....

Blackduck · 06/02/2017 10:01

MrsS whatever you did with regards your mother you would be wrong. Agree with others that it's your mother talking not the nurses, who generally don't comment these days.

Rosebag · 06/02/2017 10:34

Ah MrsS the guilt trip. Agree with BD...It no doubt comes from you DM not the nurses. The latter are not going to be "shocked" at anything. You are doing the best you can and if your DM's form is anything to go by, you will find that there'd be criticism whatever you did. Maybe stick to dealing with practical matters and keep yourself out of the firing line? Flowers

And so another Monday dawns, sunny at least. I had a strange experience...after I foolishly perhaps ran outside without a coat, to take out the trash and was shocked at the cold air...it's left me with a real chill feeling in my neck and chest. I can't be ill...just can't. I have my first full day back with Annoying Trustee Organisation (without her anymore of course...hooray) tomorrow. I am prepared and have put in the hours of research and prep. Bleurrgh...I am going to buy some echinacea.

Have decided that I'm glad I stuck with it in respect of ATY....it's bloody good. Oh what a tangled web we weave.... Denoument tonight!

Cremolafoam · 06/02/2017 11:44

Agree re ATY Rose. So many close to the bone issues arising. Particularly the not fighting back during an attack being equal to 'allowing' a rape to happen. Gives me the rage😡

Am in work now which is also giving me the 😡
How oh how to get out of here ? Would like to do it on the grounds of ill health but that could be drawn out for months. Better just to resign? Not eligible to retire. Am getting cold feet and feeling panicky 😱

motherinferior · 06/02/2017 12:28

AIBU to have had enough of this week already?

Am gloomily slinging in applications for things I am not going to get...

GiddyGiddyGoat · 06/02/2017 12:41

Can you (legitimately as you are not well) be signed off sick while you negotiate your way out on grounds of ill health? Don't get cold feet lovely - you need something different.

bigTillyMint · 06/02/2017 13:07

Cremo get signed off sick with stress if the pernicious anaemia is not enough of a reason. Tonight.

Then seek advice on the best course of action. You can legitimately be signed off with stress for as long as necessary.

motherinferior · 06/02/2017 13:21

Yep, get signed off, lovely.

NUFC69 · 06/02/2017 15:13

Do get signed off, Crem; it's obvious to everyone here that you are NOT WELL. You should then be able to come up with a suitable solution.

MrsS, please ignore your toxic DM; I am almost certain that the nurses have said nothing like this to her.

BTM, there was an interesting article in the Sunday Times magazine yesterday that you might find interesting.

I am very envious of Cloud and Rudy's holidays - we're trying to decide what to do re a spring holiday as we are not going to Majorca this year; don't know whether to chance going to the Republic of Ireland; weather (when we went through Dublin airport last year we were enchanted with the people) or go to mainland Spain. DH is off on his cycling holiday to Majorca at the beginning of May so he already has something to anticipate.

Hatty, chin up, you will be on the move soon.

Rose, do you feel any better now. Just had a tex from DSis: she has been to her GP, she has a chest infection and is now on ABs.

motherinferior · 06/02/2017 17:20

To add to the many and wonderful joys of today, I've just been informed that another of my major clients is probably going to stop using the stuff they commission me to do...

I am a bit fed up tbh.

MontserratCaballe · 06/02/2017 17:34

Oh bum, MI, sorry to hear that.

Crem - get thee to the docs presto pronto.

MrsS, sorry your family is so rubbish. We will have a cheering dinner in your honour on 24th (and other birthday girls of course).

I feel mighty fed up as well. Dh (on reappraisal bench), dd 1 (on shouty hysterical bench), ds (answering back) and work (excess of for no more £). Only dd2 and the cat are calm. WIBU to get in car and drive off somewhere (e.g. Spain) and let them all get on with it?

wordassociationfootball · 06/02/2017 17:54

Mrs S, a belated Happy birthday. I hope this will be a good and fulfilling year for you.

Rosebag · 06/02/2017 18:57

YWNBU Monty Flowers

Buggers, they are, MI...more fool them. Angry

Auriga I am having flash backs to the few years when I had to travel for teaching Saturday workshops, and spent many a lonely Friday night in godforsaken Premier Inns, fending off Annoying Trustee, crying and feeling panicky. The things that helped me were chatting on the phone a lot to home, nice movies on the iPad and a hot water bottle to cuddle up to...pathetic but I used to get really home sick Flowers

Thanks NU I have improved. I think it was the shock of having got out of a warm bed, thrown some clothes on and then racing outside with no coat. I do have a godawful headache now though Hmm

Auriga · 06/02/2017 22:21

Thanks Rose, you're right of course, lots of chats and texts help. The work, now I've started, is interesting and keeps me from pining too much. But DD was off school today (almost unheard-of) with pains in tummy and there was a parents' evening so I feel like doubly bad Mum.

MI, arf at dream, what would Freud say? Do I remind you of some aspect of yourself that you've been forgetting? Sorry you are disconsolate about work, it does seem to ebb and flow in an unsettling way.

Crem, hope you'll feel better soon Flowers

I did 2800 steps today Shock. Sedentary work, nowhere and no time to walk. I'm going to seize up altogether if I'm not careful.

MrsSchadenfreude · 06/02/2017 23:02

Crem, do get signed off.

I need a holiday. As I am all behind like the cow's tail, I see that those with kids have already bagsied half term and Easter, and the week after Easter where mine are off (and we could have gone away) and most schools are back, another member of my team already has leave booked to attend a wedding.

Got short shrift from mother who said I wasn't needed or wanted. Because if I turned up, she couldn't say that I never visited and was never there when she needed me.

Blackduck · 07/02/2017 06:03

MrsS if your mum wants to play the martyr let her.

MI bum re work

Crem I think that's a resounding vote to getting signed off.

IDismyname · 07/02/2017 06:58

Just checking in to say how sht MrsS* on the birthday front and now the DM side, too. Have no actual experience of being pushed and pulled emotionally by parents, but feel that may happen in the fullness of time with me.

I should be feeling happy that I've escaped the UK and the weather, but it appears we are in the middle of weather that is testing my phrase of "Just how bloody wet can it get?"

For those that want to know, Indian Ocean. A spot barely on the map. A sliver of land. Palm trees. Beaches. And inches and inches of rain that falls from the skies. Wet wet wet!!!

Sorry. I'll shut up.

Lalsy · 07/02/2017 07:54

Oh Cloud, what a shame.....

MrsS, your dm as ever taking the Biscuit. dh has to book his leave ages in advance or it becomes impossible - August week booked. My family not much cop at birthdays, I tend to take no notice but tell them if I want to do something.

Crem, I agree with others and also can you get some advice (union???) on exactly what the options are, and also do that incredibly dull thing if you haven't already where you go through finances, switch suppliers, cancel old dds, work out exactly what you need for basics and then for a bit more. Martin MSE has some good tools.I think at the age our dc are, these things can change, but also just having everything sorted and written down can help with non-panicky decision-making I find?

Auriga, sounds no fun.

MI, is it freelance things you are applying for, or are you tempted by something less likely to go pfff?