Large lady needs help

[Amethyst81]

OK I'm nervous about posting because I don't want to be judged about my size. I'm 6 ft and a size 30 I know I'm very overweight which is an issue I'm trying to deal with by adopting a healthier lifestyle. I'm 35 and during the past few years have just stopped bothering with myself. I wear the baggiest clothes I can find to cover myself up and don't often bother to wear make up or wear accessories because I always feel a bit like, what's the point? But then i feel awful for not making any effort either. Please can you give me some advise on where to buy nice clothes up to a size 30 and how to make myself feel a bit more modern, I feel really out of date with this stuff, help!

I really can't help you as I'm not your size BUT if I were you I'd be looking at plus size bloggers who have a similar size and finding out what they wear, where they shop etc. you can be larger and still look attractive. You need to put some time and love into yourself again, you deserve to feel happy as much as the next person. Make up and jewelry isn't determined by size.

Look at theplussideofme.com its full of plus size bloggers. One is called Naomi, (diamondsnpearls.co.uk) she is from the U.K. and looks gorgeous. Maybe these bloggers can help you to get your mojo back?

Don't beat yourself up. Be nice to yourself, buy yourself things that make you smile. Don't give a fuck about what anyone else thinks, I bet you are a fantastic person. Focus on that. Everything else will follow.

Take it one step at a time. Look for some clothes first. Once your confidence grows add in accessories and make up.

One of my friends is a 24-26 and buys stuff from Yours. She bought this recently and it's lovely. Don't be afraid of more fitted things.

www.yoursclothing.co.uk/navy-long-sleeve-t-shirt-with-crochet-detail-p

She also has a dress similar to this www.yoursclothing.co.uk/black-white-diamond-print-cold-shoulder-midi-dress-with-frill-cuffs-p

It will be daunting to step away from baggy things but baggy will make you look bigger.

Good luck

Dress for how you are now so you feel good as you are. I am a size 18, I love yours clothing and they go up to a 32 I think. Scarlett and Jo dresses are great too.
My friend from slimming world is about a size 30 but she is STUNnING, so confident in herself and always hair done make up done. It makes a huge difference.

1637 (sixteen37) - Dawn French/Helen Teague's line. Available online.

Thank you ladies for not judging me I hadn't thought of looking at bloggers, im a bit out of date on this sort of thing, but yes that's a good idea as I have seen plus size models on Facebook who look fabulous, I envy their confidence and struggle to imagine myself wearing stuff that is fitted like they do. I will check out Yours and Dawn French's range, thank you!

I think it's a good idea to dress for your figure rather than your size. Do you have things you're proud of? If so highlight them. I think most women look a million times better and more modern when they are well groomed - so treat yourself to a hair/beauty/nails appointment, refresh the old make up bag etc

Yours is good, but so is simply be

I would start with the simplest thing today and possibly get a blow dry? It's nothing that's going to make a lasting difference, but it's quick and easy and I've never met anyone who doesn't look and feel much better for it. It could give you a boost as you start looking at some clothes and accessories.

Have confidence in yourself OP, if you started to make the effort everyday you will find that your confidence and happiness will start to grow. I hope the bloggers help you to see that everyone can be beautiful no matter what their size.

Scarlett and Jo go up to 32 in all their dresses - and use bigger models as well, so you can see what the clothes look like on all different sizes of bodies. Box2 go up to a 34 if you are looking for drapey separates. Big tights company for funky (and basic) tights. Lands' End for basics and outdoor wear.

I think the most important change is a mindset one though - you deserve to look and feel nice about yourself right now, no matter what size you are - it's not something that should wait till you lose two dress sizes or whatever. I'd start with a decent cut and colour that you can replicate yourself - loads of cool hair appliances nowadays that can help even crack-handed numpties like me produce a decent style. Then a basic skin care and make up routine - doesn't have to be expensive, just one you will actually do every day. Eyebrows threaded or waxed (instant face lift). Perfume if you like it, and a few pieces of jewellery (high street/supermarket is fine, no need to spend a fortune till you know what you like). Then choose 3 or 4 outfits that you like - if you can afford to sit out the money for a couple of weeks, order loads and send most of it back.

Im the most straightforward 'call a spade a bloody spade' person there is, it is not like me at all to be woo woo - but I really believe that change needs to gone from a place of self love and respect, and not self hate and beating yourself up. When I started to pull myself out of a funk some months ago, my rule was that I didn't leave the house without perfume, mascara and earrings, no matter how bad I felt. 6 months on, I'm unrecognisable.

I'm a 22-24 not as lovely and tall as you either you lucky thing. I'm 5 10 but always fancied being a 6 footer .
Yours is a fab shop as is simply B. Evans is hit and miss ( lots of frump).

Have a think about your colouring. Cool or warm? Loads of blogs and advice online about it. Have you got a friend to take shopping.. Sometimes another opinion helps me to try something out of my comfort zone.

Get your hair styled. Or,if funds are lacking ( story of my life!) a box hair dye and a blow dry does wonders. Eyebrows threaded is about £6 in super drug and is an instant face lift.
High street or supermarket makeup and jewellery is fab. Move up to the move expensive stuff when you've got more of an idea of your tastes.

Firstly though you need to change your mindset. Loads of bloggers linked above. Hold your head high. Smile, hair, bit of makeup, a nice smart coat hides a multitude of sins as do some funky boots ( Evans for wider leg). Some lovely perfume, a posh bag and you're on your way to faking it. It's difficult and i'm so not perfect but I gave up long ago giving a shit what others think!

What Ilove said, both on next steps and attitude.
Was also B about to suggest starting with best possible hair cut and colour you can afford and an eyebrow shape! Then lots of trying clothes to find what suits you and what you like. As someone who's large and also tall, I know it's an advantage in 'carrying ' your weight well and looking good in clothes but also that it's not easy to find clothes that are long enough but it is possible with persistence and self-respect.

It's a bit pricey but I've seen some decent things on navabi (online) - if you don't want to splash out too much, it might be a starting point to get some ideas for some slightly more fashion-forward clothes. Just because you're big doesn't mean you can't keep up with trends, and as PPs have said, blogs are a fun way to keep up to date.

Def look at some plus sized bloggers - She Might Be is a good website for working on your self confidence etc.

I used to be a size 22-24 but lost weight due to ill health and am stuck at a 16-18 now. I wish I'd known about the plus sized bloggers out there when I was larger as it would have helped me feel better about myself.

Hi, I've been a size 24 and I got jeans & trousers from Evans & next, and tops & dresses from simply B, and wide fit shoes from clarks. There's not a great choice TBH, but the bloggers idea sounds good.

Also I still like lots of black or navy, but also worn with a really bright accessory to stand out i.e.: bright beads, big earrings, bright lippy, nails, bags / shoes, bright cardigan (not all together obvs!) you still get the 'comfort' of wearing dark clothing but with something that stands out too.

I am a 22 and only 5"9 and I wore this dress to a wedding this weekend (Lindy bop). I usually hide in black but do you know what I felt bloody great and got loads of compliments.

Embrace what assets you have and hold your head up high.

Aww thanks ladies you've all been really lovely, I appreciate all your responses I've booked a cut and colour for tommorow so am feeling excited about that and I've looked at yours and ordered a couple of day dresses which are more fitted as I would love to look and feel more feminine. namechanger you look absolutely stunning in that dress! I would love to wear that style its so pretty. I guess I do have pretty good boobs even after two kids! So am trying to look for styles that show them off a bit ooer! Thanks ladies.

Ilovecherries I know exactly what you mean about waiting until you lose weight before starting to make the effort, I've been stuck in that trap for ages, except because I feel crap I comfort eat more and then don't lose any weight, its a vicious circle!

If you like 50s style another place worth looking is Lady Voluptous. They may be on the short side for you, but they go up to a 32 - the Lyra especially is very generously made.

Thanks cherries, I live in rural Dorset so it has to be internet stuff, I had no idea all of these sites existed!

I've just looked at the Lady Voluptuous website, I'm in love! The dresses are gorgeous and in my size! I particularly like the Lyla/layla style dress, it looks like it might suit my shape and has a nice range of colours, has anyone bought from here before?

Yep, me too though I'm at the other end of the country! Lady V is online - it's not my personal style, but have seen women look amazing in their stuff. The high street is a very dispiriting place to shop when you are larger, but there is loads out there when you know where to look. Let us know what you get, love vicarious shopping :)