size 20/22 - Please HELP???

[SilkThreads]

I am going to meet with a friend whom I last saw 25 years ago when I was a size 10.
For various reasons (mostly health related) I am now a 20/22.

I want to feel confident about my presentation.

I was thinking - dark jeans, white shirt, blazer/tweed jacket.
scarf, good boots and bag. sort of thing I feel comfy in.
I am not good with dresses/skirts/ heels, so that type of look is best.

But, what underwear for a good 'foundation'?
I have a protruding stomach and a bulge from 2 c-secs.
I also have comedy sized breasts.

Pls be kind.

I don't have the courage to go into a shop, and can't afford a personal stylist.

But I'd like to look as good as I can, for my own self esteem.

[SilkThreads]

Thanks, wine that's really helpful.x

[Bananasandchocolatecustard]

I hope your rendezvous goes well, and that you feel confident in your outfit.

[Thatwaslulu]

TK Maxx are excellent for shape wear. I buy mine from there - they do Spanx, Ness and other brands too. Incidentally their Spanx tights are so comfy...

[SilkThreads]

Shit.
He asked for a pic.
Then he didn't turn up :(

[youlittlecharmer]

doesn't sound like much of a 'friend' then!

[ilovecherries]

Huh. good swerve. Not about you, all about him.

[MinniesAndMickeysNeedCounting]

Oh that's really crap of him 😔
I'm the same size as you and like the same type of clothes.
Keep meaning to buy myself some good shapewear and some good tips on here for that.

[P1nkP0ppy]

Tossed.
Some friend , you're better off without gits like him op. You sound like a strong, confident woman - onwards and upwards 💐

[P1nkP0ppy]

Blasted iPad....*TOSSER!

[hiccupgirl]

Unless he turns out to have a good excuse why he didn't turn up, you had a lucky escape there. No one needs someone like that in their life.

[SilkThreads]

no, not much of a friend it turns out.
I am disabled which has led to the weight gain.
part of the disability is due to an nhs cock up last year.
he told me to stop viewing myself as a victim (I had an appalling childhood re SA and he knows all about that too) and to use 'guided visualisation' to help cure my spinal damage (whilst sniffing pathetically for two weeks re a head cold).
There was also a lot of texting about what he wanted to 'do' to me, sexually.
I fell right into it, like a fool.
And, yes, the 'I think it is better if we stay just friends' came straight after the head and shoulders and full length (clothed!) photos he requested.

I feel about 2cm tall now
I've been crying all day.
I really AM pathetic :(

[SaoirseLikeInertia]

What a hateful thing to do to anyone. Hateful. Please don't cry over him, you're lovely. A true friend doesn't care what their friend looks like. He is the pathetic one, you're a million times the person he is

[SaoirseLikeInertia]

And I bet you look fab! I am the same size as you, and I can scrub up pretty well when I am not in my pjs

[ilovecherries]

Aw, don't let the tosser grind you down. What a horrible piece of work he sounds. Your size doesn't define you, but his attitude defines him.

[Tigerstar123]

Silk - so sorry about this awful man. Please do not let him get you down. You sound lovely and it's clearly his loss of your friendship. I know it's cliched, but it really is what's inside that counts (and he sounds like he's not very nice at all!). Sending hugs your way x

[SilkThreads]

This is what put him off so much:

[SilkThreads]

I am going to report my post above to get the pic back down but I needed to show you how ugly I clearly am.

I first met him when I was 20. He was going to marry me and make me feel safe. Of course, he didn't.
I am going through a really bad time.
Stupidly, I contacted him.
He told me the same lies and I believed him - again.

What an utter fool I am.

[heavenlypink]

You're not ugly Silk

[SilkThreads]

well I am stupid because I've let him make me feel uglier than ever.
sorry, howling now.
need a cuppa, and bed, I think.
I'll get the pic taken down - stupid to put it up (couldn't work out how to crop head off!)

heavenly thank you for being kind.

[HoobleDooble]

You are very pretty, and he is an arsehole! I'm also a size 22 and know how it can get you down, but please don't waste your time and energy on him.

[BradleyPooper]

You're not stupid at all, the only mistake you made was thinking he was a friend and a good person. We were rooting for you and he's let us all down. What kind of person treats any other human like that? Disgusting.

I would kill for your hair colour and you have a very kind face. Be nice to yourself.

[BradleyPooper]

Oh yes, meant to add that you can lose weight in the future but he'll be a toaster forever.....

[BradleyPooper]

Toaster???? Tosser clearly. Epic autocorrect stole my thunder. Stopping typing now....

[SealSong]

You're far from ugly, you're a very attractive woman. Don't let that turd of a man affect you....he behaved appallingly, he is the ugly one. Be angry at him.

[SilkThreads]

Toaster! you made me laugh!
I'd like to put HIM in a giant Toaster, and turn the dial to max...

Hair - Nice and Easy no 97 ;)

ok - I am going to be brave - how old do I look?
( I know I look tired!)
(you can be honest, as I never slept with you so it wont hurt if you say 96! :)