size 20/22 - Please HELP???

[SilkThreads]

I am going to meet with a friend whom I last saw 25 years ago when I was a size 10.
For various reasons (mostly health related) I am now a 20/22.

I want to feel confident about my presentation.

I was thinking - dark jeans, white shirt, blazer/tweed jacket.
scarf, good boots and bag. sort of thing I feel comfy in.
I am not good with dresses/skirts/ heels, so that type of look is best.

But, what underwear for a good 'foundation'?
I have a protruding stomach and a bulge from 2 c-secs.
I also have comedy sized breasts.

Pls be kind.

I don't have the courage to go into a shop, and can't afford a personal stylist.

But I'd like to look as good as I can, for my own self esteem.

[Bambinho]

I'm really sorry you are having a hard time. Regarding the parking ticket, I have helped a friend with a blue badge get tickets cancelled by writing to the council to appeal.

I find a handwritten letter with a photocopy of both sides of your badge explaining you thought you could park there but must have made a mistake and would they consider cancelling the ticket (especially if it's the 1st time with this council) often works. That will just cost you a few minutes and a stamp, give it a try.

[SilkThreads]

Bambinho
I will try. thanks.

Bluntness yes, it's me. I am trying to cheer up but he has really really got to me. He knew all the old buttons, and I stupidly told him the new ones.

How stupid am I? :(

[Bluntness100]

You're not stupid, not even slightly, you're just vulnerable and a bit lonely so fell prey to some arsehole because of a shared past. He's the stupid one and he is totally to blame, you've nothing to feel upset about, you've done nothing wrong,

[CharlieChipmunk]

Oh just block him and move on. Stop engaging with him. If you absolutely must, send one last missive saying that, with some consideration, you don't wish to rekindle anything with a pensioner. He sounds utterly grim to me

You said you wanted a kick start. Well, make this it. Plan out what you want for yourself and go for it. Don't be de-railed by old men who really should know better

[SilkThreads]

I just checked.
I have in fact lost 1.5st.
6 to go though...
the 'intense' phase with him lasted, oooh, all of 3 weeks.
but it stopped me thinking about food.
so, I am following a low carb regime (only thing that ever worked in past)
I am not going to let this put me off (at least, I'll try not to).

Damn, he could have done me SO much good :(

[SeasonalVag]

I don't really know where to Start, reading this. What an asshole. Why was he needing pictures before meeting? That's so insulting. And as for meeting folk from the past, I've been in your shoes and it's so unnerving, but always remember that EVERYBODY ages, most people are bigger than the were 25 years ago and it sounds like that buffoon is stuck well in the past where you should leave him. He sounds like a total creep.

On the plus size, meeting people AFTER losing weight is an amazing boost and if you flag, a thought worth keeping to!

Finally....I hope they sort out your spinal injury one of my friends had some nhs spinal disaster decades ago and is a member of a forum called spinal injury uk, it's on fb.

[SilkThreads]

I suppose I asked for a pic of him first, to be fair.
though I did say it didn't matter how he looked (he was always fugly, so I knew he'd be old and fugly, and he was, but that didn't matter at all to me!)
he asked in return, I sent one, and he told me I looked 'gorgeous'
but then, just after I sent a full length one (by request) he called it all off.
maybe for other reasons, I know I AM hugely oversensitive about my weight. he says it 'wasn't that' but then, he would, wouldn't he?

Thanks for the post, and esp the bit about spinal injury uk.
I will go check them out.

(I also have a post about 'Walking into the Sea' if you want to see a bit more about how he turned out!)

[fluffiphlox]

Sounds like you dodged a bullet, he sounds repellently superficial with BO and bad breath to boot. But could there be less of the ageist, anti-pensioner stuff please? We will all, hopefully, be 69 some day. Some of us sooner than others.

[SilkThreads]

I don't think there is any 'anti-pensioner' stuff here?

Just that it is a bit ludicrous for him to be dismissing me due to looks (IF that is what it is, who really knows?) when he is significantly older and was never an 'oil painting' himself.

THAT didn't bother me, but the lack of personal hygiene etc is relevant as it was a matter of arrogance for him (apparently 'wildly cerebral' people - this is how he describes himself - don't need to bother with showers like the lesser folk...)

yes we will all be 70 one day (hopefully!)
Let us hope we are all less destructive than this man.

I felt like a 'woman' again for the first time in years, due to his attention.
(how pathetic is that???)
So, I'd been doing well on my diet (didn't need food, was twirling around happily planning meetup)
Now, its hard again.
I eat when I am sad.
I feel really sad.
I could have done without this, and right before Christmas too.

[fluffiphlox]

No silk you haven't been ageist but one other poster has been in their response. I am sure you are well shot of this charmer.

[CharlieChipmunk]

I'm not ageist. Trust me, im hardly in the first flush of youth myself. But if he is dropping the op because she is very overweight then she can drop him for being a pensioner. He IS a pensioner. That's a fact and not an opinion

[SilkThreads]

Yes he IS a pensioner. No one said that made him 'bad'.

The abusive behaviour, the lies, the feeding off my distress at the hospital, the distaste for my ds with asd 'not a perfect child', the blocking my number after I sent him the pic (despite giving my size, weight and head shot first, knowing that my weight gain is to do with me not being able to walk properly for 10 years), etc etc.

That all makes him bad. (Have a look at my 'walking into the Sea' thread, which says a bit more but barely scratches the surface really.

I think singling out any 'ageism' is slightly missing the point?

[fluffiphlox]

I'm afraid I don't know your other thread or back story but I have said twice that you've had a lucky escape