Crepeys who try not to look like creepy clowns....

[BeachysSandyFlipFlops]

Would that be OK?

Must try to avoid a thread switch on a Friday night

Bereavement is forever really in all sorts if ways. Stand your ground crepies. Be assertive with partners who don't understand and get then to make space for it if you can.

MI how about a nice long bath today. Notebook and tea beside you.

Sorry you missed Bake Off and Brian is invoked, Beachy.

DD2 also missed Bake Off. 20 mins of it for calling me a pig, and the rest for subsequently telling me to f-off. Fun development.... She was shattered from a football match but uh-uh, no way José.

Flash is being a dog - it's not his fault and I need to hang on to that.... As ds said how can you not love a dog that is so very excited to see you....

WAF sorry about DD and Beachy hope you feel better soon ...

I am thinking of you with Flash, BD. A physically and mentally taxing learning curve. Your Ds sounds so wise and lovely sometimes.

Crem, your bereavement an utter cluster f* of enormousness.

Please all, tasers pointing my way and stern use of said: deadlines I have.

Hugs for BD and all others feeling it - I still really miss my GodM (who I always wished was my DM) even though she died 31 years ago.

WAF, sympathies re being told to f-off - i and other Crepies will recognise that phenomenon. Sadly

I also missed Bake off but am hoping to catch up on it later.

DS is just snoozing - mates didn't leave till 10 last night and nurses woke him every 2 hours to do BP, take blood sugar, give tablets/vitamins, etc intravenously. Blood sugar finally up a bit, but apparently they all kept panicking in the night as his HR dropped so low! Really glad he is here and being looked after.

BTM have sent you a text - don't forget there are Crepeys who can jump on a train and bring you life's essentials v easily too.

Thanks!
Text must have gone into the ether though

How's lovely of DSs mates tilly to rally round. I do hope he will be on the up very soon.

No spoilers but GBBO is getting totes emotes!

Sorry about DD waf Typical teens but it's always very shocking when a DC effs in your face. My friend actually swung for her very large teen DS when he told her to eff off ...he never did it again.

cocoa what Mi said. I had to be the one to mention the four letter word "home" for my DDad. I will always be bad cop in the family for this even though most of the close family agree he had a dignified and gentle passing as a result of the lovely nursing home we eventually found. They had links with the local hospice so good expertise for both dementia and terminal illness.

beachy oh no....not norovirus coming to get us? Be well.

Love to all Crepeys who are bereaved. I agree that no one quite realises the process unless you're in it. I am ashamed to say that people still keep asking me how DM is...and never following up with asking how I am. DH just forgets. It's coming up to a year in November. Still hits me like a truck when I'm least expecting it.

It's over 20 years since I lost my DM & just this morning I felt a great pang of wanting her. Doesn't happen often & I do remember the first couple of years being the toughest. It's a V A S T shift in your life & until it has happened to you you just don't realise what a change it is.

And When did you Last see your Father? by Blake Morrison is a help to see how others cope. Well, it helped me.

Sending to all & hope all is going well with DS, BTM.

Also H is for Hawk is good on how momentous and bouleversant bereavement is.

BTM, I'd be happy to jump on a train and bring you nice snacks. Glad he is getting such good medical care.

MI, if you pitch that feature on bereavement, it's an excuse to contact Helen MacDonald...wouldn't that be amazing? She is so nice in interviews!

Aaaggghhh... That Oxfam site is toture. I am tempted Lord.

Me too Herbs. There's a red coat I want now....... ( needs like hole in head)
Lalsy might be worth a wee look.

Am trying to turn attention to costume for dsister's Halloween party. And I'll have to conjure something for dh , as he's crap at that sort of thing.

And I really don't understand iTunes At All. It's making my head spin. I just want to copy my photos to my desktop computer but it keeps redirecting me to the iTunes shop.

BTM, yes, I may be very close indeed, so do call for help/cake/books or whatever.

Magi and all, I agree. My df died 25 years ago. Something happened earlier this year that rattled my family cage, and I got waves of grief again (mainly because he never met the dc, and died not knowing that my dsis and I would be OK). BUT, you do bounce back faster and more smoothly as time goes on and it comes to feel a natural part of you I think - the loss of a parent anyway. Crem, your description of thinking you say your dbro is so moving, many many for you.

Cocoa, I hope you find the right place. I agree with MI about the strain at home, and also I think people can end up in hospital if things change quickly, because there is no time to find somewhere more suitable.

Really sorry work woes continue, MrsS, BD and Crem. What a waste of your many talents - just think what the three of you together in charge of Something Big could achieve.

Resisting Oxfam urge till work is knocked on head.

Crem, have you got a Mac? I just plug my phone in and it automatically uploads to icloud photos and to dropbox. And in the past have used onedrive (MS). All much easier than itunes. I don't understand itunes either - why have they made it so hard?

And why are coats sized differently? Everything I tried on in my normal size was too small - have I missed the memo that says don't wear any clothes underneath a coat?

Might have a squint at the Oxfam site to see what you are all raving about!

ITunes is the work of the devil - as are all things Apple IMHO! Of course they all work fine together - thats that Apple way of getting you to only buy all their products That said, I may well get DD a macbook for uni and I will be the only one with an android if DS gets an iPhone at Christmas.

Just met lovely friend for lunch and chat - DD stayed with DS before I strangled her
Lalsy, if you are really nearby tomorow maybe I can escape again for a coffee?!

BTM are you at the hospital in Camberwell? I can't come up tomorrow but it is vvv easy for me to get there - the train zooms up.

Yep. So lucky to have it on our doorstep.
MI I'll let you know depending on family, etc re zooming up on the weekend

Hello crepies - am still trying to shake my cold and have actually lost my voice. I'm trying to rest it as my DSis apparently lost hers for 4 months and needed speech therapy! I didn't know such a thing was possible as a result of a common cold.

Have been shopping with DS today as it is the first day of the school holidays - have got him a hoody and an anorak thing that he likes. Cannot seem to find him jeans as he's falling between adult and child sizes. I think he'll have to live in trackie bottoms for about a year.

BTM - hope your DS is doing ok - great that his friends are there for him. and so lovely of MI to be there for you.

Stropps - a step forward for DD to phone and ask how your weekend was. Also good news on student job. My DD2 has taken up pole dancing which I'm unsure about.

BD - I'm sure Flash will settle down once his confidence grows. He does sound a bit like a demanding child.

to all having work and parent difficulties.

Our tumble drier has given up so looks like our weekend will involve finding a replacement.

Am going to investigate the famous Oxfam site.

BTM, can't do tomorrow unfortunately (meeting/people working on house). Will PM you my mob in case other opportunities. Am around Sat pm and Sun am probably.

Don't worry Lalsy - it's not a problem

Hatty, I recently completely lost my voice for a week or so - thought that was bad, bit nothing like 4 months!

I was struggling with tears in Shakespeare's garden this morning, thinking of many happy weekends in Stratford with DM over 30 years, including one only two years ago.

On the journey home I thought about how the quality of the grief has changed over six months, from being harsh & frightening, all mixed up with the ordeal of her death, to something softer, mixed with happy memories. An image popped into my head of Mum with my new puppy snuggled under the lapel of her coat, when I was 14. She would take the puppy to work like that, when I was at school. From now on, I will think of my grief as a puppy, to be snuggled, stroked and, in a kindly way, trained so that I can live with it.

Which reminds me, BD, have you looked at my niece's website? I've liked it on FB. She does Skype consultations, if you'd like a hand to hold with Flash. DDog was explosively bouncy as a pup and I remember how hard it was. I was forever threatening to chop her up for cat food It took a few months before I could say it was a pleasure to walk with her but then it became the best stress-buster I know.

I do not know how much I have grieved or I will. Still feel Confused and Bitter.

Btm - happy to meet you tomorrow if you like? Just pm me

And agree with everyone about grieving. I still cry or cry out very often in the shower and I never know when it's going to happen. You live with it; sometimes better, sometimes worse for me and like so many of you I have a dp that's never experienced, which can also be hard

Cocoa - oxfam website - thank you