CV, such a nasty experience for your poor ds. And that bloody shop owner's reaction... 
Monty, I'm very sorry to hear that your dh is struggling. WAF, my sympathies on that score also.
Crem, good to hear you are enjoying a good lunch.
I have db and family pitching up some time this afternoon. The dns start climbing the walls if stuck at my dm's house for more than 24 hours. Ds is about to bake a chocolate caramel cake, apparently. He is suddenly very into cooking.
BTM, hope you get some downtime just for you this afternoon. And I hope ds doesn't get discharged without a copper-bottomed care plan to help him do what he needs to do to get better.
Rudy, I have extensive experience of trying to support an alcoholic, but I'm afraid I'm not up to advising anyone on how to do it successfully. My exh (dd's dad) was an alcoholic. I can honestly say that I did everything I could, but in the end it was clear that he just wanted me to collude with him, and he would take me and dd down with him if I didn't find the strength to walk away. The extent of his deceit and denial really only came out after his death. 10 years was a long time to spend living with the craziness. Various professionals told me that I was doing absolutely the right thing when I divorced him. A psychologist even told me that I had "saved his life". Unfortunately, that turned out not to be true at all.
My df had chosen to believe that my first husband was a 'good egg' and didn't want to support me in any way when I divorced. He had his first mini-stroke days after I told him that I was divorcing h1. My df's relationship with alcohol was also not exactly healthy. As some crepeys may know, my exh, my df, my MiL (dh's mother) and dh's younger db all died within 18 months of each other. And I also gave birth to ds that year. This was all when dd was 6 and 7 years old. I don't suppose anyone would ever suggest that all that didn't have a profound impact on dd. And our old dog died as well, which pretty much broke her. Alcohol, grief, loss - all inextricably linked in mine and dd's lives. The past few years for dd have been about a lot of her repressed feelings about all that coming to the surface.
I have had people say that if alcoholism is a disease, how can you abandon a sick person? I've never come away from a conversation like that feeling good about myself, and I still don't know if I could or should have done more/something different. My ex-MiL was (and probably still is - if she is still alive) of the opinion that her son's death was my fault. However, she also had a drink problem, in addition to other issues. Whenever she came to stay, I used to have to clean up both her wee and her son's. At least he usually made it to the bathroom, whereas she didn't bother trying. So she'd say anything rather than consider the idea that some of her behaviour might have had a teensy bit of a negative impact on her son.
So, anyway, I've got nothing remotely useful to say about how to support alcoholics or how to grieve. Except to say that it's important to remember the "put your own oxygen mask on first" principle. And if you're feeling low in yourself, try not to make yourself more vulnerable by offering support to someone who may lean on you too hard. I didn't have the chance to put my own oxygen mask on until approx 5 years after the unfortunate events, and the lack of respite (because I was busy looking after everyone else and working) made me very ill. I'm still paying the price for that now, unfortunately.